Brother's birthday problem WWYD?

sarahevie

Definitely possible to tandem feed, I fed a newborn and 20 month old.

Not for long, my DD1 stopped feeding when I was pregnant, apparently your milk alters and she didn't like the taste by 16 months.

However, when she saw DD2 feeding she wanted to as well so I fed her adhoc. She's almost three now and hasn't fed for a long long time, her sister stopped at 12 months she just wasn't interested.

liney

Got bored halfway through, but if the child is 2 why can't they go in a buggy and sleep for a few hours until you slope off early? She will be tired anyway, so have a walk around the block and bring her back in for a couple of hours when she drops off. Later you can go home early leaving everyone else there to carry on, or maybe your Mom (who doesn't drink) might take her home if she fancies sloping off early instead.

elvis86

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Skintchick

What do you actually want us to say ?

Do you want us to say that yes your brother is being a selfish git in not considering your childcare needs which to the majority of the population is pretty restrictive becuase if that's the case then your brother is being a selfish git

Can you not see that it is the restrictions that YOU have placed on childcare - that is hindering a solution being reached - and in some respects it is YOU that is being selfish.

It baffles me why you would bother posting a dilema on a public forum, if you're not happy to hear people's opinions? If you've already made your mind up an aren't interested in anyone else's POV, why bother folk with your childcare issues?

As others have said, your brother can't win by the sounds of it. If he hadn't invited you, you'd probably be here posting a thread about your ignorant brother not inviting you to his birthday party.

If he'd foregone the night in the pub that he wanted to suit you, and arranged an afternoon tea party at your house with a bouncy castle for your daughter's entertainment, you'd probably be here whining that this was inconsiderate as you're practicing contact parenting and you being pregnant means that your daughter can't play on the bouncy castle!:rotfl:

Nicki

It baffles ME why Elvis would post such an unpleasantly snide post on a public forum, when it doesn't answer the question being asked. If she doesn't like OP for whatever reason, perhaps she might do her biatching in private, rather than hold her up to ridicule in front of nearly 7000 readers.

FWIW I don't parent in the same way as OP either, but that's no reason to be gratuitously nasty to her.

elvis86

Nicki wrote: »

It baffles ME why Elvis would post such an unpleasantly snide post on a public forum, when it doesn't answer the question being asked. If she doesn't like OP for whatever reason, perhaps she might do her biatching in private, rather than hold her up to ridicule in front of nearly 7000 readers.

What a ridiculous statement.:T

Lily_The_Legend

skintchick wrote: »

I think my bro is going to end up disappointed which is a shame, I really didn;t want that to happen.

But that is his problem isn't it? If he's planned a boozy night out, why did he think both you and your OH could attend when he has invited your parents too (who are the only potential babysitters?)

Maybe he just hasn't thought about it and if you say you can't go because you have to look after your DD he will realise he can't have everyone there.

It sounds like maybe you'll be the one staying in at your parents' place, and your OH and parents will go to the night out? But maybe your folks won't stay long and you can go when they come back?

Sorry if I'm repeating what someone else said, skim-read the last part of the thread.

bylromarha

skintchick wrote: »

I have to say I am very surprised how many people think I should just dump DD on a random friend 100 miles from where I am going to be, and additoinally think that my (perfectly reasonable) objections to that mean I am selfish, emotional (particularly loving the accusations of hormonal - do men ever get this kind of !!!!?) and generally an over-anxious parent who should have left her baby at 3 weeks old...

I have to say I am very surprised that you don't think it's reasonable to leave your daughter with a trusted friend 100 miles from where you are. Random friend I wouldn't either, but trusted friend certainly.

We, and a couple of friends of ours, do not have the luxury of asking parents or in laws to babysit our children overnight. We have looked after other peoples 1 year olds (and older) and had ours looked after in return to give couples some much needed "us" time. Maintaining the relationship of the parents is so important and I find it sad that some parents put their relationship with their child far above their relationship with their partner.

Both partner and children need your time and I could not imagine life without the 1 weekend a year recharge boost we get in our marriage by being child free for those 3 days. Having had 2 babies less than 2 years apart life becomes very hectic and involved in them and time out from it gives you a chance to rest, relax and remember why you love those little people so much. It also helps baby to learn other things and be other places. We see just how much it impacts those families we help out by having their kids for the weekend too. One 1 year old cried when he saw his mum and dad come back to collect him as he'd had such a fun different experience at our house to that which he had at home. He loved having older kids to play with for 3 days rather than home alone with just mum. It is wonderful when you give people time to be themselves and a couple rather than someones mum and dad.

gratefulforhelp_2

bylromarha wrote: »

I have to say I am very surprised that you don't think it's reasonable to leave your daughter with a trusted friend 100 miles from where you are. Random friend I wouldn't either, but trusted friend certainly.

The OP has explained that her daughter is breastfed at bedtime and first thing in the morning.

skintchick

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

The OP has explained that her daughter is breastfed at bedtime and first thing in the morning.

THank you.

Additionally, I think she is too young to sleep away from me and OH. My mum has told me that me and my brother didn;t sleep away till we were 6 or 7, so maybe I'm old-fashioned, or maybe I'm weird, but its my decision to make.

The plot has thickened considerably this evening after a chat with my mum. I'm not going to share any more on here as I am mostly getting flamed and I don;t need the aggro, but it looks like whatever I do I will be on the receiving end of one of my brother's tantrums/moods/call-it-what-you-will, so I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

My only option is to risk the wrath of the in-laws and ask them to babysit at my parents' house. OH is going to speak to them about it.

I know most of you on here think that is unacceptable to ask them to do that, but Oh thinks they might not mind, and all we can do is ask what they think about it.

Plans_all_plans

Yeah I actually think that you have been unnecessarily flamed by some posters too.

BTW, if in the end you miss your brother's party because you have no childcare and he throws a strop: it is HE who is acting childishly. He should understand that your children come above him in your list of priorities. Don't beat yourself up about it. He'll get over it.