Son just started Uni but in tears

melancholly

maggiesoop wrote: »

Can anyone help with books? I remember reading on this site that you shouldn't shell out for "essential" reading as half the time they're not, so he didn't buy any.

He's now texted me panicking saying he doesn't want to be the only one with nothing in his hand.

I've told him to wait until he speaks to his "Personal & Professional Advisor" (Uni's terminology, not mine's!!) and hopefully he/she will give him advice?

depends on the course. often it is a total waste of money without reading the text books first (different people gel with different styles). libraries are also getting more and more underused.

tell him to turn up with a notebook and pen - that'll be far more useful than a pile of expensive books! in a few weeks he'll know what books he needs rather than those which might be nice to have.

Tish_P

Often he can buy books cheap from the previous year's students. There will also be a couple of copies in the library - not enough for everyone, but might help if he's quick off the mark. Another thing would be to find a study-buddy and buy one book each rather than both get both.

I wouldn't skimp too hard on books though, it's a small proportion of the cost of an education and decent, up-to-date books will help him get the most out of it.

Millie2008_2

We have recommended reading lists, but don't expect students to buy lots of books. Some of my students don't buy any, but use the library (some library books are only on short loan, so he might need to be organised with this).

Lecturers never mind advising on course material, so if he is not sure, encourage him to ask. I have been chatting to my lot today about books

Pleased that he is sounding happier though, you must be so relieved

lorietta

maggiesoop wrote: »

Can anyone help with books? I remember reading on this site that you shouldn't shell out for "essential" reading as half the time they're not, so he didn't buy any.

He's now texted me panicking saying he doesn't want to be the only one with nothing in his hand.

I've told him to wait until he speaks to his "Personal & Professional Advisor" (Uni's terminology, not mine's!!) and hopefully he/she will give him advice?

Take a notebook and pen. No-one takes text books to lectures, it's pointless and they are too heavy. Tell him to check the library before buying anything, they often have many coppies of esential books, although there may be some they expect all students to have coppies of.

If he looks online, he may be able to print off the lecture powerpoint too, in order to anotate it during the lecture.

If he's on a science course, he might want a scientific calculator too. What course is he doing?

elisebutt65

A lot of Uni libraries also have a good selection of E-Books as well. I get our library to upload anything essential onto the Learning Channel (Intranet) so they're available for free. A lot easier to navigate as well as you can 'search' for specific areas or terms without having to flick through reams of paper.

I'm going to be going through this in a few years, although DS1 has just said he wants to go to Cov Uni so he can stay at home!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

maggiesoop

What course is he doing?[/QUOTE]


Primary School Education

TheEffect

I'm a second year uni student and did halls last year, so I thought I'd give you my input.

1) Everyone bar the few muppets gets home sick during the first few weeks of university, however it soon disappears and you get involved in the university life-style. Enjoy it while he is phoning and asking for advice, because in a few months, you'll be leaving him voicemails asking for him to call you back.

2) Don't worry about books or anything like that just yet, go to all your lectures (they'll be introductory lectures to start with) and you will be given a reading list. For the first year, I would recommend just using the books in the library rather than purchasing them, as they're expensive.

3) It's not a bad thing if he is not best friends with all his flat-mates. No one can get a long with everyone and over the next few months, he'll work out who he gels with and who he doesn't. I luckily became good friends with 4/5 of my flat-mates and live with them now. The other I had nothing in common with, however we still greeted each other.

4) I know it's hard, but do not worry too much about him. I grew up so much during my first year, learned how to live independently, not rely so much on my parents and how to be an adult. It really is the time of your life and you learn just as much about yourself as you do the subject you're studying.

5) For your first week lectures, make sure you go in with an empty writing pad and pen to jot down any notes or things you need to remember (he'll probably get hand-outs anyway).


I wish your son all the best. I'm also studying to be a teacher, though I'm heading down the secondary root. He's just got to think that in 3/4 years time, he'll have QTS and be a qualified teacher. University is about growing up, learning a subject/career and moulding your future. Enjoy it!

maggiesoop

TheEffect wrote: »

I'm a second year uni student and did halls last year, so I thought I'd give you my input.

1) Everyone bar the few muppets gets home sick during the first few weeks of university, however it soon disappears and you get involved in the university life-style. Enjoy it while he is phoning and asking for advice, because in a few months, you'll be leaving him voicemails asking for him to call you back.

2) Don't worry about books or anything like that just yet, go to all your lectures (they'll be introductory lectures to start with) and you will be given a reading list. For the first year, I would recommend just using the books in the library rather than purchasing them, as they're expensive.

3) It's not a bad thing if he is not best friends with all his flat-mates. No one can get a long with everyone and over the next few months, he'll work out who he gels with and who he doesn't. I luckily became good friends with 4/5 of my flat-mates and live with them now. The other I had nothing in common with, however we still greeted each other.

4) I know it's hard, but do not worry too much about him. I grew up so much during my first year, learned how to live independently, not rely so much on my parents and how to be an adult. It really is the time of your life and you learn just as much about yourself as you do the subject you're studying.

5) For your first week lectures, make sure you go in with an empty writing pad and pen to jot down any notes or things you need to remember (he'll probably get hand-outs anyway).


I wish your son all the best. I'm also studying to be a teacher, though I'm heading down the secondary root. He's just got to think that in 3/4 years time, he'll have QTS and be a qualified teacher. University is about growing up, learning a subject/career and moulding your future. Enjoy it!

Thanks for the encouraging advice. He was home this weekend (for a golf match) and feeling a bit emotionally wobbly. He knows he has to just batten down the hatches but he's met a couple of school friends who live in different halls and they've made great friends, which is making him feel very lonely.

The flatmates he has are OK but they're younger (2 x 16yr olds and 2 x 17yr olds) so not even old enough to go for a pint with, and they're at college not at Uni so his rooms are fairly quiet when he comes back during the day. We phoned Unite (private accom) to see if he could move rooms but those where his ex-school mates are are all fully booked .

He's joined a couple of clubs and goes to the gym and is really trying to put himself out there when it comes to socialising (and he's a nice guy, not too shy) but everyone seems to have "got in" with people already and he just wants a couple of decent mates too.

Of course I'm trying not to show my feelings too much but when he wanted a hug a couple of times over the weekend (and he's 6ft 3!) its tough on mum's heartstrings!

Beetlemama

I loved the Camp Granada reference on page 1, lol, but I made sure I read through to the end before posting to check he was feeling better.

Seriously, I know how you feel, I miss mine when he's in school and he's 8! it's our cross to bear, they are young and starting out and it's left to we oldies to worry and fret.

Hugs to you.

xx

BugglyB

maggiesoop wrote: »

Thanks for the encouraging advice. He was home this weekend (for a golf match) and feeling a bit emotionally wobbly. He knows he has to just batten down the hatches but he's met a couple of school friends who live in different halls and they've made great friends, which is making him feel very lonely.

The flatmates he has are OK but they're younger (2 x 16yr olds and 2 x 17yr olds) so not even old enough to go for a pint with, and they're at college not at Uni so his rooms are fairly quiet when he comes back during the day. We phoned Unite (private accom) to see if he could move rooms but those where his ex-school mates are are all fully booked .

He's joined a couple of clubs and goes to the gym and is really trying to put himself out there when it comes to socialising (and he's a nice guy, not too shy) but everyone seems to have "got in" with people already and he just wants a couple of decent mates too.

Of course I'm trying not to show my feelings too much but when he wanted a hug a couple of times over the weekend (and he's 6ft 3!) its tough on mum's heartstrings!

I do feel bad for you and for your son.

When I went to uni I had no friends for three months until I met my best friend and my boyfriend (separately) in the space of a week, just before christmas break. I was so miserable up until that point. I would say to him to stick it out for a few months. You are doing the best you can to support him and that means a lot.