How much sex is ok for you?

ciderwithrosie_2

I don't think I've ever turned down the offer of sex, I can't imagine rolling over and saying 'not tonight darling, I'm too tired/got a headache' cos as soon as advances are made I'm up for it. However, it never happens these days so I'm talking from memory! He works nights and never offers when he is here.

I'm with Dontknowanymore, I had 3 kids in 4 years and can't say I was ever that exhausted, but I've never needed much sleep anyway. Still only have about 5-6 hours a night now.

Gavin83

ColleenPamela wrote: »

And here's a question for the men on this thread- how do you feel when your advances are rejected? Just curious as last time mine were rejected I felt quite hurt, but then...I've probably rejected his more than he's rejected mine, so does he feel as hurt as me or is he just resigned to it?

Just curious, my best friend is male but I can't ask him because he's a sex fiend, I don't think he's ever rejected an advance in his life!

It wouldn't really bother me, I'd just sort myself out if I needed it that much. It would only become an issue for me if it was on a regular basis.

claire16c

Gavin83 wrote: »

I don't often have a weekend where I'm not doing anything but even so, how long does it take you to clean 'some of the house'? Honestly we'll do odd jobs that need doing and still find time for sex. I never shop at the weekend unless I have to but housework will generally get done at the weekend. What do you do all day when you have nothing to do to not find time for sex?

As I said I don't often get a free weekend day, maybe once a month but I don't see how it takes you the 16-17 hours your awake to clean and shop. I couldn't literally spend all day in bed, probably when I was a teenager but not anymore but even so I won't get up until 10-11 unless ive got a real reason to.

To be honest it seems you and your partner spend most of your time working which probably contributes to why you don't find the time. I couldn't deal with that to be honest, my leisure time and what it contains is extremely important to me and I think maintaining a healthy work/life balance is important. I wouldn't choose to work a job which was long hours even if it paid more than my current position.

If I havent done anything in the house the whole week, then by the time weve got up on a Saturday, we wont have finished doing the shopping and cleaning/tidying, washing etc til early afternoon if we chose to do it then (because its unlikely we'll have got up and dressed before 10 or 11 or so, so I would never be awake for 16-17 hours!).

And sometimes at the moment but not forever, DH has to work Sat mornings. Then once he comes back Ill do the shopping while he cleans or relaxes or whatever. Today in the afternoon we spent an hour or so out in the garden because the lawns needing mowing and all the flower beds tidying up. Then he went back to work for a bit.

Work wise we dont actually spend most of our time at work, but due to the nature of the job my partner works in the mornings and evenings, and has time off in the day where I am at work. So our time off just doesnt always match up. But thats fine as it gives us time to see our friends etc.

When do you shop then if you dont do it at the weekends? The last thing I would want to do after work is trawl round a supermarket.

I suppose its all about your personal priorities in your life, especially as you say you dont want to have kids because of the negative effect on your sex life. Wed much rather have a family together and enjoy everything that comes with that, rather than just have sex 3 times a day.

I guess also if we were to have had sex before we got up in the morning, lets just say my DH is larger than the average and there is no way he would be allowed back for more that day! :rotfl:

balletshoes wrote: »

I love sleeping, and we don't get the opportunity to lie in bed all day at the weekends, but we don't get up at the crack of dawn either. Theres plenty of time for a little wake up call on the weekend mornings, its a better way to wake up than with the alarm clock too .

As someone else here said, we have a couple of hours in the late evening too midweek, after DD has gone to bed, and before I get really tired and just want to sleep.

Sounds similar to us then.

Gavin83

fannyanna wrote: »

I can appreciate how it is probably difficult for a man to understand how much impact hormones can have on women.

I must stress that not all women will have this problem but a lot of women are at the mercy of their hormones.

As someone else has already highlighted a lot of women will find their drive varies as the month goes by. Most women will find their drive is high in the middle of their cycle around the time they ovulate.

As you've said factors such as pregnancy or the menopause will have an impact but conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome (which is very common and often undiagnosed) will have an impact as one of the kep problems is out of sync hormone levels.

Contraceptives can also impact on hormones.

As I said you really shouldn't underestimate the power of female hormones.

You highlighted one issue (and the other poster several) which are medical. Medical issues can always affect sex drive, it's more than a valid reason. I also think a form of contraceptive can make a difference as well but to be honest if it does it seems a pretty good reason to me to look into alternative options.

If my girlfriend went from wanting sex multiple times a week to once a month I'd think there was something up and I'd want an explanation. That's the point I'm trying to make here.

Lotus-eater

claire16c wrote: »

Wed much rather have a family together and enjoy everything that comes with that, rather than just have sex 3 times a day.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm totally with you on this one. I could have been with Gavin before I had kids, but thankfully we had them anyway.

I can't remember the last time we had sex in the daytime! A long time ago, we did try a BJ in the toilet a while ago, but one of the kids was hammering on the door in 3 mins wanting to know what was going on. :rotfl:

Kind of puts you off your stroke.

claire16c

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm totally with you on this one. I could have been with Gavin before I had kids, but thankfully we had them anyway.

I can't remember the last time we had sex in the daytime! A long time ago, we did try a BJ in the toilet a while ago, but one of the kids was hammering on the door in 3 mins wanting to know what was going on. :rotfl:

Kind of puts you off your stroke.

Too funny :rotfl:

Yes weve babysat our nephews and nieces quite a few times and they are exhausting, but very rewarding to look after too.

happy_lass

to be honest with you all, i would rather have a cup of tea and a rich tea biscuit

Lunar_Eclipse

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

I can't imagine rolling over and saying 'not tonight darling, I'm too tired/got a headache' cos as soon as advances are made I'm up for it.

Second this.

I love my sleep, but nowhere near as much as sex. Come on people, are you really saying orgasms aren't worth missing a small bit of sleep?

At least once a week is my answer. Daily works for me, more in theory than practice. A few times/week is realistic here. Yes I have kids. We've been together over 20 years, age 40ish. Sex is a key part of a normal intimate relationship, but not so important for it to be chosen instead of having kids in my opinion.

Lunar_Eclipse

happy_lass wrote: »

to be honest with you all, i would rather have a cup of tea and a rich tea biscuit

Are you doing it right?

I do sometimes feel like this, but seriously, does anything in the world come close to that feeling when the earth moves? It's God's gift to mankind, surely?

poet123

My best friend used to say she would rather have a plate of chips....I used to ask if she was doing it right!! or if he was...she divorced and re married, the chippy has lost a really good customer.