How much sex is ok for you?

Lotus-eater

merlot123 wrote: »

It also seems I do.

I'm interested in the ages of the posters, I'm hoping most of them are in their 20's.:D

We're both V early 40's.
We probably have a decent session maybe twice a week at best, then mini sessions another twice a week.
But it does change every week, depending on if we go to bed together every night, or how tired we are/kids ill/we're ill/working too hard.
Anything from once to 7 times a week is normal. Although 7 times a week is very very rare I suppose, something always seems to come up (:D)

I don't really have the time for more than once a day though, I don't know how people with kids have time for more than once. Once you put the kids to bed, have a sit down and a coffee, hold each others hands and talk a bit, go to bed, do all the preparing work, then get down to the deed.
Then afterwards, relax, clean up and recover, suddenly it's always gone 11pm and I know the kids will be running in to our bed in a few hours, so we get some much needed sleep.

candygirl

CH27 wrote: »

Please no:eek:

Oh yes and ust wait for them to nearly come through the bloody ceiling, when breaking the bed:D:D:mad::mad:

annie12

CH27 wrote: »

And then you get them to teenagers & they stay up later than you do & hear everything:eek:

Ha ha SO TRUE!!

Son is 17, we've given up when he is around

claire16c

euronorris wrote: »

Well, everyone's situations are different. OH and I both leave the house around 8am, usually together, and tend to get in around the same time (between 6.15 and 7 - unless it's a particularly long work day).

So, we have quite a lot of time, and we don't go out much as we are saving the pennies.

Sometimes we leave the house within half an hour of each other - although thats pretty rare. But anyway, when we do, we are both too tired to be doing anything in the mornings, we both love our sleep and dont get up til the last possible second! If I get anything under 8 hours Im knackered the next day.

lostinrates wrote: »

DH and I are apart Monday morning till friday evening usually (in fact, we just found out he's going away for longer, probably about three months, so that'll be more difficult but...)

We have friday evenings....he comes home anytime between the occasionally early 4-5pm and the more normal 8pm or 11-midnight occasionally (which also means a long drive to another train station, so we get in at about one) I get up very early because we have animals (chickens/horses etc) and his Monday train is at seven. Even before the monday train and doing animals we have time on Monday morning....but because we make the time. Weekend days are filled with both chores and big tasks, but we don't have children, so there is nothing to say we can't take a break ''on the job''. There are weekend mornings and evenings, and sometimes we just take a whole darn morning or afternoon off. We still get stuff done...a lot of stuff.

What we find suffersd is a social life!

Thats the thing, here is no way either of us would be awake and definitely not thtat 'awake' lol before getting a train at 7am! I used to get a train to London about that time and it was not fun waking up so early.

I think though that when you spent time apart from each other maybe you make the most of the time you do have together? My DH used to be in the army so I remember what that was like making the most of every second!

Tropez wrote: »

Partner goes off to work between 10:30 and 11am most mornings. She's generally home about 10-11 hours later, except for one day per work-week when she only works a half day, and she always has weekends free.

I work from home and on average only work about 4-6 hours per day and so there's plenty of time for me to do the laundry, take the dogs for a walk and any other things I need to do in and out of the house.

My partner calls me just as she's leaving work to let me know whether (and what) to cook for dinner, or whether she's going to pick something up on the way. This means that I can have dinner ready for when she walks through the door if needs be.

We go to sleep between 2am and 3am most nights unless I've been lumbered with working at night but that's rare, so in general, we usually have about three to four hours together before we go to sleep and activites during this time can vary.

Weekly shop is done online and delivered on a Weds afternoon.

Housekeeper deals with cleaning.

Dishwasher for the dishes.

This leaves weekends generally free, except for mum coming over for Sunday dinner, so depending on whether we have anything planned on a Saturday, there's usually ample time to frolic.

My partner has to be very tired from work not to want to make love at night. She finds it very important in helping her unwind from work, and conveniently for me, is always the one to let me know when she's in the mood.

Thats the thing, all of those type of jobs we have to do at the weekends and after work. And we both work full time.

We prob averaged once a week although more now we are ttc. We just love sleeping and lie ins! I guess as long are you are on the same page its the most important thing.

lostinrates

claire16c wrote: »

Thats the thing, here is no way either of us would be awake and definitely not thtat 'awake' lol before getting a train at 7am! I used to get a train to London about that time and it was not fun waking up so early.

I think though that when you spent time apart from each other maybe you make the most of the time you do have together? My DH used to be in the army so I remember what that was like making the most of every second!



.

Its absolutely right that what is important is what works for you both. If getting more sleep is a priority for you both, then there is nothing ''wrong'' with that. ....pretty much what I said on the first page....what I'm saying is that we find the time because, as you say, we make the most of the time we have together and our sex life is part of that for us in our stage of life right now.

I have to say, I think had we known on Monday that he'd be whisked off without being able to come home again he would have got a later train to London this week though!

Notsosharp

1sttimer wrote: »

Late 50's/early 60's here - nothing on sex side for years! OH has a problem of not being able to do it but won't go to docs! I have my own means and ways tho;)! We're ok with it.

I

Same here, OH has problems but he's 34 and I'm 32 and going crazy. We're going through a stressful time, I use sex as a way of letting off steam lol, he doesn't. So the last time we did it properly it was 6 weeks ago.

It's gotten to the point now where he's gotten that worried about it not happening for him that he won't even try any more! I'm perfectly willing for him to try any time he likes .

I'd happily do it once a day given the chance! :rotfl:

Gavin83

LandyAndy wrote: »

Wait until you get a life. That'll soon change;):D.

What's that meant to mean? I'm probably one of the busiest people I know. I have a job, a number of hobbies, I go the gym regularly, go on holiday 6+ times a year, go to several social occasions and do the every day life tasks. I have probably one completely free weekend day a month, I dont literally sit around every weekend doing nothing! I love my life and the way it is and don't really intend to change anything.

However I consider sex important and will always make time for it. It's fine if your happy in a practically sex free relationship if that works for you but I wouldn't find it acceptable.

claire16c wrote: »

Thats what I dont understand. Where do people literally find the time?

On a weekend where I am not doing much in terms of going out, I still have to do weekly shop, clean some of the house, other odd jobs like that, sometimes need to go to the post office/bank etc. How can you just spend all day lying around in bed! How do you get anything done? And that would be on a day where I had nothing on, most weekends I have something planned whether its going out somewhere in the day or evening.

I don't often have a weekend where I'm not doing anything but even so, how long does it take you to clean 'some of the house'? Honestly we'll do odd jobs that need doing and still find time for sex. I never shop at the weekend unless I have to but housework will generally get done at the weekend. What do you do all day when you have nothing to do to not find time for sex?

As I said I don't often get a free weekend day, maybe once a month but I don't see how it takes you the 16-17 hours your awake to clean and shop. I couldn't literally spend all day in bed, probably when I was a teenager but not anymore but even so I won't get up until 10-11 unless ive got a real reason to.

To be honest it seems you and your partner spend most of your time working which probably contributes to why you don't find the time. I couldn't deal with that to be honest, my leisure time and what it contains is extremely important to me and I think maintaining a healthy work/life balance is important. I wouldn't choose to work a job which was long hours even if it paid more than my current position.

balletshoes

candygirl wrote: »

Oh yes and ust wait for them to nearly come through the bloody ceiling, when breaking the bed:D:D:mad::mad:

omg are you my work colleague S? I swear she told me last week about her son when he brought his gf home for the first time to spend the night - they were in the attic bedroom directly above his parents, they heard him getting down to it :eek: - and then they heard the bed break :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:!! He came down stairs very sheepishly to tell them, they were literally under the covers shaking with laughter .

balletshoes

claire16c wrote: »

See for me, in the mornings we are both asleep until we have to get up for work - and my DH leaves before me at around 6am. So we dont see each other then. Then in the evenings where we are back from work, he gets in any time between 7-10 depending on the day. I get home earlier, make dinner etc. Then we go to bed around 11ish. So we physically couldnt fit in 2-3 times in that space even if we wanted to!

Thats what I dont understand. Where do people literally find the time?

I love sleeping, and we don't get the opportunity to lie in bed all day at the weekends, but we don't get up at the crack of dawn either. Theres plenty of time for a little wake up call on the weekend mornings, its a better way to wake up than with the alarm clock too .

As someone else here said, we have a couple of hours in the late evening too midweek, after DD has gone to bed, and before I get really tired and just want to sleep.

poet123

I think that it is important (certainly to us) to make time. We are in our very early fifties but whilst we have gone through peaks and troughs I would say 3/4 times per week has been our average over 30 years of marriage and four kids. We both work and we are tired but we do make the time and we also do weekends, even just nights away, to keep the spark going.