MSE Pregnancy Club 23

mozzyc

Ravenlady wrote: »

I wonder if the suggestion of you moving to the spare room on Friday and Saturday nights will be met with the same welcome that he hoped his suggestion would be?

Ah, thanks Gilly! You're right Ravenlady, he wouldn't be impressed! He seems to need a hell of a lot more sleep than I do. Even on weekends, he's in bed by 9pm latest.
I said to him last night that its not meant to be easy, having a baby is hard and our lives are going to change, big time! But at the same time, you'll love it!

RebekahR

Morning Ladies. Had 1 slice of pizza last night and some icecream. Weirdly enough the icecrream settled my stomach straight away. Was wide awake from 530-730 again. Got back to sleep and slept til 11. Just had cereal and coffee and so far I feel okish today. I did struggle to eat although not quite as bad as usual. It tends to get worse from the next meal onwards though. So might leave it an hour or 2 and then eat a ginger biscuit or 2 before lunch. I am working a lat shift today from 530-1030 so will finish and fall straight into bed. I haven't been up long and am feeling exhausted already.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

one way to look at the OH and sleeping thing.

Ok - so you both need your sleep granted.

BUT

Imagine how you would feel if - after making your OH get up to do night feed's he fell asleep at the wheel and caused some major collision - killing himself, and possibly others? Ok, this is an EXTREME thing but it DOES unfortunatly happen and i personally dont think it is really worth the risk for the sake of a night feed.

Why not try and come to a compromise? Say - When he gets in from work until 10pm he looks after the baby whilst you nap/rest etc and you take over from 10pm?

It's not as if you wont get ANY sleep - It will just be interrupted every so often

Gillyx

mozzyc wrote: »

Ah, thanks Gilly! You're right Ravenlady, he wouldn't be impressed! He seems to need a hell of a lot more sleep than I do. Even on weekends, he's in bed by 9pm latest.
I said to him last night that its not meant to be easy, having a baby is hard and our lives are going to change, big time! But at the same time, you'll love it!

I honestly think some men are hollow between the ears when it comes to kids/family etc.

I'm trying to explain to mine that we will have no free time for the first few months, and the time we do have, we'l end up crashing out.

Sleep can be trained also, I've told mines, from January he's on a strict schedule with sleeping, I'll be waking him up at a certain time every morning (including weekends) and he'l be getting up, so it's up to him to choose when to go to bed to get enough sleep. This will train his body hopefully slightly into surviving on less sleep so come February it won't be such a shock to him.

I don't think you should be annoyed about your OH's suggestion, more the fact it was a statement rather than an opening for discussion, if that makes sense?

jennynoo

mozzyc wrote: »

Thanks WW and KeelyKat - i've basically just told him when he's just in the office he can help out with the night feeds, but if he has to drive to Birmingham or Brighton etc, then he can sleep in the other room. Plus he can take over when he gets home from work to have some bonding time.
I was just annoyed because he gets so much more sleep than I do, always has. He gets up at 5am, and is in bed by 8pm or so, and I just think he needs to realise when baby is born, he may not get all 8/9 hours anymore.

You may get more sleep than you think. Have you considered bed sharing? If you are breastfeeding and you do it safely you will both get loads more sleep. We did this and although the first few weeks were a bit unsettled meaning I had to get used to waking up and making sure DD was latched on properly when she wanted feeding OH slept through the whole thing and then when things improved and I got good at feeding lying down I barely had to wake up either. People were amazed that we both weren't tired all the time. The only times we were tired was when DD was ill and we had to deal with sick in the bed.

Having said that OH sometimes sleeps in the spare room now if he is on a early shift the next day because DD has taken to kicking him in the night and he doesn't get a good nights sleep anymore :rotfl:

toniq

Hi Ladies n bumps, will read back in a bit x

Struggling big time to keep my blood sugar levels down, my diabetic nurse thinks as it's mainly my first few readings that it isn't down to the food it's just how my body is reacting, I have to keep increasing my insulin injections to try and keep it at bay, so far no joy and my levels are not responding in the morning to insulin.

Because the worry time in all of this is 39/40 weeks i'm not too concerned as they have told me I will def be having baby 38 weeks or before by section to avoid the complications, Just need to make sure i can somehow keep control of this for the next 7 odd weeks xxx

My appts have all been changed and I now see mw weekly and consultant fortnightly, and my scans are fortnightly too, alot of running around but keeps my mind of it all xx

Hope everyone is doing ok xx

Gillyx

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

one way to look at the OH and sleeping thing.

Ok - so you both need your sleep granted.

BUT

Imagine how you would feel if - after making your OH get up to do night feed's he fell asleep at the wheel and caused some major collision - killing himself, and possibly others? Ok, this is an EXTREME thing but it DOES unfortunatly happen and i personally dont think it is really worth the risk for the sake of a night feed.

Why not try and come to a compromise? Say - When he gets in from work until 10pm he looks after the baby whilst you nap/rest etc and you take over from 10pm?

It's not as if you wont get ANY sleep - It will just be interrupted every so often

In my opinion that's emotional blackmail. We all need to learn to cope with less sleep as parents, as I said my friend was back driving to work/uni when her baby boy was 6 weeks old, so hardly sleeping through the night. I think once in a while if you feel particularly knackered, but not every night.

More than likely as a mother you will still have the day to day things to do, take child to school, get the shopping in, which will more than likely involve some sort of driving, and you'l be sleep deprived, more so than the male.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Gillyx wrote: »

In my opinion that's emotional blackmail. We all need to learn to cope with less sleep as parents, as I said my friend was back driving to work/uni when her baby boy was 6 weeks old, so hardly sleeping through the night. I think once in a while if you feel particularly knackered, but not every night.

More than likely as a mother you will still have the day to day things to do, take child to school, get the shopping in, which will more than likely involve some sort of driving, and you'l be sleep deprived, more so than the male.

lol sorry i didnt mean it as blackmail lol (Technically is it blackmail when I actually dont get anything out of it? lol)

It's more of a "consider all options and out come"

It might involve driving (being the mum) but the poster (sorry i forget who asked the Q now!) said he drives really long distances which is obviously different from nipping to Tesco's to pick up the shopping and as mentioned - it's not as if the parents get no sleep at all, it just takes a while getting used to and babies can be trained into wake and sleep times.

Gillyx

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

lol sorry i didnt mean it as blackmail lol (Technically is it blackmail when I actually dont get anything out of it? lol)

It's more of a "consider all options and out come"

It might involve driving (being the mum) but the poster (sorry i forget who asked the Q now!) said he drives really long distances which is obviously different from nipping to Tesco's to pick up the shopping and as mentioned - it's not as if the parents get no sleep at all, it just takes a while getting used to and babies can be trained into wake and sleep times.

On his part I meant, not yours like if he said that, it comes across as, well if you want me to help with baby I could end up killing myself and/or others.

That's what I'm saying, you do get sleep, so your body learns to cope on less. We all have nights where we see every hour on the clock, does that mean those with long commutes should call in sick to work in the off chance they may fall asleep at the wheel?

I'm not saying this man should be driving to work if he's chronically tired, and 1 or 2 nights a week if he feels the need to sleep in the spare room I think that's fine, BUT 5 nights a week? The burden on the mother is then awful, and if you do get a child that doesn't sleep great I think I'd need support, not my OH saying "right love I'm away to sleep, night night" that would breed resentment I think, anyway.

ginvzt

OH needs much less sleep than I do. I can't function, get grumpy, etc, if I get less than 8 hours sleep! So, yes, it will be hard for me to adjust, but I will. He, instead, often gets to bed midnight - 1am, and up at 6.30am next morning to go to work. Don't know how he does it. He can sleep through he biggest noise as well. I could probably run a hoover by his ear and he wouldn't hear it!

He is now going to me about getting more exercise. I pointed out to him, that I am exhausted. He suggested going for the walks (hill walking - hate it!). I kindly pointed out to him, that my hip is aching for the past 3 weeks an gets worse if I move more! I think I will gt to the gym soon, maybe a bit of running (not a great runner, but loved doing my couch to 5km program - never got to week 9, but it was good).

I have read in my book yesterday, that by this point I would have probably put on about 5kg with twins. and I kindly pointed out to him that I still haven't put 2kg on. I am eating, as much as I want (too much sometimes), and yes, I often just slumped on the sofa half asleep, but that is what he has to get used to!