MSE Pregnancy Club 23

Bumpmakesfour

I really really need some honest answers as to whether or not I'm being a hormonal,unreasonable nutcase or not please.
Bit of background..two of our three have arrived early(one three months,one 4 weeks).With current bump I've been hospitalised at 7 weeks,17 weeks(ambulanced in with massive bleed),19 weeks with 2nd huge bleed then suspected premature labour at 22 weeks,prem labour at 25 weeks(kept in on labour ward for a week on nephedapine to stop contractions and had the steroids blah de blah.Supposed to be on bed rest but impossible with three kids and am now 34 weeks today.
Hubby has been great and things have been really good,everyone super excited about bump arriving soon.Other fact about hubby is that when sober he is brill,couldn't ask for a better hubby or dad but to get instant idiot simply add beer.After a few pints a quiet night can turn into a club in town,blackouts where he literally can't remember his own bloody name and him arriving home at 6am in a total state..could tell a few tales to elaborate but you get the picture.I think in 15 years he's maybe made it home in one piece on time say four or five times :wall: BUT he works really hard and deserves to let loose so it's something I just accept and he very rarely goes out now tbh as we have our hands full .

Anyway!he's had to arrange a few work functions.Has one next week locally when I'll only be 35 weeks and should be fine.The issue is the one planned for 2 and a bit weeks later that he says he really has to go to(biggest client).Here's the thing.It's 50 miles away,he doesn't drive,will need to pay for a taxi home(£55!!!!!!:eek:) and is going out with the biggest bunch of Pi$$ heads with me at home on my own with 3 kids at 38 weeks preg.
We were having a lovely afternoon,he brought that up and I'm in a strop.I've stomped off upstairs with the lappy and am sat here fuming trying to work out if I'm being unreasonable or not :o
In my rational mind I know the likelyhood of me having the baby on that one night is pretty minimal but I'm feeling all hurt that he'd even risk it.
So go on...am I being out of order?Be honest I can take it:p

Kira000

Gillyx wrote: »

Had a bit of a crappy day went out with OHs mum and everything I looked at was a waste of money or 'too' much. I want a sturdy cotbed that will last but I should just get the cheapest rathe than one I actually like. It's not like I'm being unreasonable, £200 is a good price I'd say. Feel like crap now, like a materialistic cow.

You shouldnt feel bad for wanting quality. Real moneysavers know that cheapest isnt always best. Its value that is important, not cost. If you buy something cheapy that is £100, and will last a year before needed replacing how is that more sensible than buying something for £200 that will last you 3 or 4 years?? Daft if you ask me.
You have the right idea, so stick to your guns! We are planning on getting a cot bed too, once bean is a few month old, something that is strong and can be adapted to a bed. I think we will be budgeting somewhere from £250-£400.

*Ro*

Gillyx wrote: »

Had a bit of a crappy day went out with OHs mum and everything I looked at was a waste of money or 'too' much. I want a sturdy cotbed that will last but I should just get the cheapest rathe than one I actually like. It's not like I'm being unreasonable, £200 is a good price I'd say. Feel like crap now, like a materialistic cow.

.... Oh dear Gilly, if you are the one stumping up the cash ignore her and get what you want and dont feel guilty !!!!!!! If she is offering to pay then its a little more tricky perhaps highlighting that you want more (:eek:) children so want a sturdy cot as it will be well used and needs to be able to be taken apart several times (:eek:) and that you will pay any extra on top of whatever the budget she had in mind... or failing that come from the safety point of view, cant argue with that, want it to be strong and safe.

Ro xx

seafarers_wife

Bump I would be fizzing if i were in your position and thats putting it mildly! You are not being unreasonable and think your DH needs a good kick up the behind. If it were my DH even contemplating something like that especially at this point in time given the history he would be told job or me as realisticly you could go any day now and you need all the support you can get.

Bumpmakesfour

seafarers_wife wrote: »

Bump I would be fizzing if i were in your position and thats putting it mildly! You are not being unreasonable and think your DH needs a good kick up the behind. If it were my DH even contemplating something like that especially at this point in time given the history he would be told job or me as realisticly you could go any day now and you need all the support you can get.

Fizzing!Never heard that expression before..Love it!
So those of you at similar stages..are the hubbies not going out over christmas? xx

Kira000

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

We were having a lovely afternoon,he brought that up and I'm in a strop.I've stomped off upstairs with the lappy and am sat here fuming trying to work out if I'm being unreasonable or not :o
In my rational mind I know the likelyhood of me having the baby on that one night is pretty minimal but I'm feeling all hurt that he'd even risk it.
So go on...am I being out of order?Be honest I can take it:p

Oh hon.... i soooo sympathise. Your OH's behaviour when boozing sounds just like my ex-oh. It is soo wearing, and constantly being on edge when they go out drinking, not knowing if, when or how they will get home is horrible. But then its no fun feeling like a nag either.

I think you are in a sticky position. When it is a big client event, it would be hard to refuse (not impossible tho'), and i would feel bad for stopping my DH going. BUT given the likely outcome if he does go, and with your history of premature labour, i also totally understand why you wouldnt want a potentially !!!!ed/missing OH right at a time when you could go into labour. So no, i dont feel you are being unreasonable for not wanting OH to go, and for worrying what might happen. Thinking of my ex, i don't suppose there is any way he would agree/be able to stick to going but not drinking at all, as a compromise? My ex would struggle with moderation, but may have had a chance with abstension.

jenjade

Gillyx wrote: »

Had a bit of a crappy day went out with OHs mum and everything I looked at was a waste of money or 'too' much. I want a sturdy cotbed that will last but I should just get the cheapest rathe than one I actually like. It's not like I'm being unreasonable, £200 is a good price I'd say. Feel like crap now, like a materialistic cow.

Gilly if you can afford it get what you want. You will regret buying cheap and having to live with it if you dont like it. It would be false economy. Who has a problem with the price? your other half or just his mum? If it is just her ignore her ;-)

I am reusing DD1's cot which isnt a cot bed and cost me £250!!! ouch but i will need to buy a toddler bed when she gets bigger and grows out her cot

Kira000

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Fizzing!Never heard that expression before..Love it!
So those of you at similar stages..are the hubbies not going out over christmas? xx

Well, i guess i am lucky, not only is he a bit of a home bod, and not a huge drinker (thank heavens after my Ex OH!) DH works at a small firm that doesnt really do events or socialising much, and he works from home a bit too, so he doesnt have much call to be going out.
I think atm we have one joint social event, a dinner at friends house near by, but thats it. I do have more of an issue in that he often doesnt pick up messages and voicemail for absolutely hours if he doesnt answer the call (which is often as its on silent for meetings etc). Lord only knows what he expects me to do if i go into labour when he is up in town, and i cant get hold of him. I have asked him for the numbers of his co-directors as a last resort in case i cant get hold of him myself, but he doesnt like that idea, so we are at an impasse!
I guess i'll be calling my dad and asking for a lift from him!

Bumpmakesfour

Kira000 wrote: »

Oh hon.... i soooo sympathise. Your OH's behaviour when boozing sounds just like my ex-oh. It is soo wearing, and constantly being on edge when they go out drinking, not knowing if, when or how they will get home is horrible. But then its no fun feeling like a nag either.

I think you are in a sticky position. When it is a big client event, it would be hard to refuse (not impossible tho'), and i would feel bad for stopping my DH going. BUT given the likely outcome if he does go, and with your history of premature labour, i also totally understand why you wouldnt want a potentially !!!!ed/missing OH right at a time when you could go into labour. So no, i dont feel you are being unreasonable for not wanting OH to go, and for worrying what might happen. Thinking of my ex, i don't suppose there is any way he would agree/be able to stick to going but not drinking at all, as a compromise? My ex would struggle with moderation, but may have had a chance with abstension.

It's rubbish isn't it!He said why don't you just get an early night that night..umm yep it's SOO easy sleeping when you're waiting to hear thud,crash,knock etc at god knows what am and having to check they've closed the door/arrived home with wallet/phone etc,don't choke on puke and die etc.That's IF they arrive home..otherwise every police/ambulance siren going past scares the carp out of you.And seeing as though DS doesn't sleep and have to wake up for DDs feed pump etc an early night is not an option!
Tbh there'd be no way he'd not drink and I do feel bad for making him out to be a raging drunk because he isn't.He literally goes out once or twice a year..he just never got the hang of moderation:o he's been so lovely throughout the pregnancy,I get foot rubs and really looked after so why am I sooooo annoyed about this night out?
God I dunno!! I just wish he'd been thoughtful and said "oh I couldn't possibly leave the wife at 38 weeks but tx for the invitation" but guess that's me living in fantasy land!:rotfl:

emmylou83_2

http://direct.tesco.com/q/R.210-7430.aspx
Hey all, i got this, but its a frog instead of lion design, in my Mr T for £7.50 yesterday had literally just got one from Argos, so took that one back on my way home I hope my linky works! x