Gilligansyle's outside her comfort zone

Karmacat

At the cost of a whole week's rent, I'd dig the spuds now *whatever* they're like, and hand the keys back. If you're ready otherwise ....

savingholmes

I would save the rent too. You've got so much done in a very short time Gill. As regards the inequality - yes it was extra labour on you - but they also missed out on that time with your mum which they may now secretly regret.

Hope that next week is good. With regard to the socialism - if you go private - it means someone else who needs an appointment can get an appointment quicker lessening the pressure on theNHS so I don't see the problem myself... LOL

gilligansyle

Where did the weekend go?

Dug some of the spuds up, they weren't too bad! Keys now handed in, so that was a *very* big step. Bloke at office implied that we had to leave the place spotless, and if it had been her own house and we were selling it, we would have. I've worked in social housing for over 30 years, and by comparison to most that I've seen we left it OK. We didn't clear the garden, and we didn't hoover up; mainly because we'd given her hoover away! But generally it was OK. Someone could move straight in, which is all they care about really.

Today I am working from home, documentation etc. so am about to have another cuppa and then start.

Washing machine is on, so will be able to get things dried outside.

Other than that, I really need to get some food in the house; the freezer is full, but the fridge is almost empty. Haven't really had time the last few weeks, so need to get back into it.

Karmacat

:grouphug: That was a big step. Private renting, I agree with you, you don't need to make it spotless in the same way, certainly not in this situation - and I'm glad you got the tatties.

How nice to be able to work from home a bit on this job, far-flung as it is.

gilligansyle

Morning and 'white rabbits'

Went out with 'the girls' last night, I thought it was just wine and nibbles, but it was a proper meal. I've known them for 40 years in some cases, and see some more than others. But felt really odd; a few of them meet up fairly regularly and have done for 30 odd years, and its never bothered me before, but I felt like an outsider. When they talked about things, I realised that for a lot of the time I didn't know what or who they were talking about,and that to have asked would have interrupted the flow of conversation.

Maybe its just me.

Doing OK with money, all of the big dd's have gone out, so think that I have around £100 a week left to live on. Not sure how accurate that is yet, as its all a bit of an unknown but will try it for this week and see how it goes.

£30 gas and electric
£70 for the rest of the spending

I've claimed my expenses back, so should get that next week; the plan is to use the expenses money for expenses (if that makes sense).

So I've done a 'cash and carry' shop, and got the heavy stuff, so plan for today is local shop and fill the fridge.


Actually, thinking about it, its a 4 week month, so should be fine. And £70 is more than I normally spend.

Next week I am 'down south' again, this time in South London, so thought it would be easier to travel down on the train, especially on a Monday morning! It will only take 3 hours, door to door whereas it would take 4 hours just to get to the M25, and no idea how long it would take to get to where I needed to be. Very glad that the hotel and train were booked by the company though, the cost of trains if you can't book them well in advance is horrendous!

Hope everyone is enjoying this lovely weather.

Karmacat

That sounds quite painful to see your situation in relation to the girls ... especially as you've lived fairly close geographically, or isn't that the case with these? Have you just moved on? Of course, its hard to enjoy anything to the full right now for you ...

There's a lot of soul searching these days, including me, completely separately from all of that ... hope the rest of the weekend is okay tho.

gilligansyle

Hi KC

most of us live really close geographically, but 3 of them went to primary school together and all got married at the same time, had their children around the same time etc. so they have kept in touch in ways that were difficult for me; they did 'coupley' things, and school stuff. Previously I just accepted that, the 2 I am closest to, one doesn't have children and one is divorced. But I've never actually felt like a stranger before.

Ah well...

hypno06

The thing with girlie catch ups, are that sometimes it all flows beautifully - where has the time gone stuff, lots of laughs, that feeling that no one else in the world matters but your group of giggling girlfriends, and suddenly the night has flown by and you go home with a lovely feeling of belonging.

Other times, things don't flow so well, with one or more of us feeling slightly detached. It could be that we have grown apart and have nothing in common any more, or it can simply be that today we are not in the right place for meeting these guys. - we can be the closest of friends, or the most scattered of friends, but the chances of us all being in the same frame of mind at the same time, are bound to vary hugely as we all have different things going on in our lives - whether it is families, children, death of a loved one, or just a few long days at work with poor quality sleep.

Don't beat yourself up over this (pot and kettle, I know). You're not a stranger, it just wasn't your day.

xx

savingholmes

Hi Gill - you've achieved an amazing amount recently and have tons going on - its not surprising really if you feel a little out of it.

Hope you get some time for you this weekend

Lula-Hula

Hi Gill,

I concur with Hypno re girlie meet ups, & also my sister & I had a similar conversation in the months following our loss. We realised that we just felt different from many of our peers, because we had been through a particular experience & no one else could really understand just how differently we felt.

There are good days, ok days & bad days for some time & you never know which one you'll wake up to. Sometimes it's just easier to avoid certain situations until you feel that you've landed back on earth again. The way that you are functioning so efficiently with work & sorting through practical stuff is probably concealing, to some extent, just how far you have been knocked off your axis.

Are you on a pre-pay meter for energy ?

Wishing you a happy tomorrow
x