really need to ask for help about vile neighbour

RAS

I do not think it is possible to discuss either the original matter or her reaction to posts sensibly with the OP.

I suggest that poetess report the OP to abuse for libelous comments and that everyone else stops posting.

Errata

... not taking the viewpoint of the neighbour, yet 'shedding some light on another viewpoint' ... same thing ...

We'll have to disagree. Shedding light on another, or other, viewpoints doesn't indicate that viewpoint is being taken and dismissing another, or others.

catalina66

RAS wrote: »

I do not think it is possible to discuss either the original matter or her reaction to posts sensibly with the OP.

I suggest that poetess report the OP to abuse for libelous comments and that everyone else stops posting.

I'm not being aggressive or unpleasant, but simply using my right to reply with the truth. To try and flame me as irrational/unreasonable is bullying. To exaggerate things to dramatic 'libel', when I myself have worked very successfully as a careworker for many years and been disrespected in this thread, sounds like it's not liked that I have my honest opinion and express that clearly and calmly.

"This thread refers to very severe rape/abuse, to bullying that is making my home extremely miserable and unhealthy, to extreme upset and clear need to move in order to heal and have good health ... why is it becoming all about one person's determination to be right?"

And your response is to be derogatory, and to say to report me and isolate me from support ... to 'get a gang together' to leave me without support ...

The thread is reported; MSE will already be looking into this. I wouldn't have reported the thread if I felt that yet more harm would come to me ... nothing to hide, and would only report like that if very distressed.

catalina66

Errata wrote: »

We'll have to disagree. Shedding light on another, or other, viewpoints doesn't indicate that viewpoint is being taken and dismissing another, or others.

the other's viewpoint was taken, not mine ... just using words that say the same thing, and it's clear in the posts that my side wasn't listened to ... lack of support to me, which is clear from all the posts that have ensued ... if someone hit you and others around immediately were concerned for the violent person and their background and view, how would you feel?

Gigervamp

Catalina, you've had some very helpful advice on this thread, but it's obvious by the way you're seeing attacks and bullying where there is none, that you're very fragile at the moment.

May I suggest that it's time you stepped away from this thread as it's doing you no good now.

I hope you're able to get the help that you need to resolve the issue in your OP.

elisamoose

Can the mods just close this thread please?

poet123

RAS wrote: »

I do not think it is possible to discuss either the original matter or her reaction to posts sensibly with the OP.

I suggest that poetess report the OP to abuse for libelous comments and that everyone else stops posting.

Thanks, but I won't bother reporting, or posting again.;)

catalina66

Gigervamp wrote: »

Catalina, you've had some very helpful advice on this thread, but it's obvious by the way you're seeing attacks and bullying where there is none, that you're very fragile at the moment.

May I suggest that it's time you stepped away from this thread as it's doing you no good now.

I hope you're able to get the help that you need to resolve the issue in your OP.

so e.g. someone is saying to report and isolate me because I reply calmly and honestly, albeit with points that aren't liked, but I am wrong to point that out and am imagining that ... the fact everything I'm saying about the one-sidedness is so attacked would seem to back up my points ... I am fragile, but not weak or stupid or unreasonable or illogical, and it really isn't right to speak in an undermining way to me ... a strength and clarity are one of the results of what I've been through, no matter how emotionally traumatised I may be, and I didn't start up these arguments ... was distressed and said that clearly.

To heal, any fragility can't involve accepting anything hurtful or unfair to me, but instead responding in a way that is respectful to myself and as fair to others as I can possibly be. And having been so smashed up yesterday when I posted honestly about the council and was wrongly doubted/turned against, I am finding it helpful to reply calmly and honestly, as it would do real damage to me not to ... again, I try to be as fair as the circumstance possibly allows, in this instance in the context of unpleasantness to someone in my circumstances and not listening when I was distressed. Really paying attention to what I write, even if what I honestly say isn't liked.

I'll thankfully access any helpful interaction on the thread as long as the thread is here, as that is what the forum is for ... if the mods feel it is best to close the thread, due to harm to me and/or otherwise, I move forward with a clear conscience, having thanked everyone who has been helpful at every stage and stood my ground as needed.

I thought when someone went through something bad, that support meant meeting them where they're actually 'at', in a positive way ... that various people are stepping on the most sensitive mines deliberately, and surprised I answer honestly, I find rather an obviously unwise thing to do. It's about what's appropriate, and if immediate distress results from an approach, keeping on with that approach isn't wise.

supermezzo

Gigervamp wrote: »

Catalina, you've had some very helpful advice on this thread, but it's obvious by the way you're seeing attacks and bullying where there is none, that you're very fragile at the moment.

May I suggest that it's time you stepped away from this thread as it's doing you no good now.

I hope you're able to get the help that you need to resolve the issue in your OP.

I concur and have also sent a request to the mods to close this thread and I hope that the OP will see that in the spirit it is meant and not as a personal issue.

catalina66

supermezzo wrote: »

I concur and have also sent a request to the mods to close this thread and I hope that the OP will see that in the spirit it is meant and not as a personal issue.

how would people posting to close a thread where I do receive some much-needed helpful support not be taken personally?

People bringing back up their arguments, that distressed me in the first place ... I had the right to reply honestly.