really need to ask for help about vile neighbour

MCLF

Hi there,
sorry you're going through such an awful time.

Is it possible to take photos of things such as her washing over your back door and her litter?
It may not be admissible evidence as pictures can be altered, but I would certainly show these to your local councillor.

I would be discreet. I wouldn't rush outside to photograph her actually hanging her washing out or tipping the litter into your garden. I'd simply take a photo every time I found her washing there and make a note of the time and date. Same with any litter. And anything else which can be photographed.

Of course, if you could capture her on video from a window, littering your garden that would be handy.

As I say, I doubt it's admissible evidence. But if it accompanied your written record it may help.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

As a vulnerable person, you should be able to get assistance from Adult Social Services at your local council. There would be the possibility of an assessment by an Occupational Therapist giving additional weight to your housing application as well as from a social worker, whether specialising in mental health services or not.

They may be able to help by attending a meeting with your housing officer and determining what the exact situation is and how it should be dealt with.

catalina66

Gigervamp wrote: »

When you email the councillor, make sure you also tell them that you sent a complaint to the council and you haven't received a reply despite their code of conduct stating that you should have had a reply within 5 days.

Dear Gigervamp
Many thanks for your message. I will most certaintly make sure I tell the councillor that no reply has happened despite 5 days having passed.
Really appreciate. Many thanks, Cat

catalina66

willow_loulou wrote: »

Hello xxx Ok Ive read this a couple of times now, I find it a little confusing but I think I understand but please correct me if I am wrong. I would say who ever you take this further with you should be consice and clear with your issues. Do not include personal details in writing, if need be you can explain how you are vulnerable in person.

1,You are a vunerable person who has had some very traumatic experiences in your life and you are presently in ill health and unable to reasonably manage to garden or redecorate your rented accomodation.
2, A neighbour is taking advantage of your less able state to intimidate you and create general upset/noise making your life more difficult and is littering your garden.

Ok assuming I have this right the council is bound to intervene about her behaviour by their own tennancy agreements. They are responsible for ensuring neighbours play fair it is not down to you. We had a similar issue with a joint alley behind the houses, noise and general awful behaviour. I called environmental health and the council - the alley was cleaned and the family were moved on. Obviously not over night but I pointed out to the council their duty to fulfil their agreement. The CSA will assist you and probably home visit as you are in ill health. But it should not be you moving, it should be the disruptive neightbour once the issues have been witnessed and recorded - the councils environmental health will provide recording devices.

I would also suggest a word with your community support officer its surprising what a visit from one of those to your door will do to quieten your neighbourhood! I understand though if you feel that a tough route to take

Please remember it is possible what noise upsets you (you state you are quiet) could be seen as normal noise to others - how ever her attitude and for all intent her bullying must be dealt with.

Im so sorry you have to deal with her on top of your personal problems. I truly hope one way or another this is resolved very quickly for you.
please let us know what happens
((((((((hugs))))))))))

Dear willow_loulou ... thank you so much ... I so appreciate your kindness and advice ... and your conclusions are right, as I do struggle very much about health/energy/rest and being able to do the practical things I so much want to do, and the neighbour really does prey on any vulnerability. You are absolutely right that the council is responsible to uphold the tenancy agreement and act fairly.

Very glad to hear the problems you were having were fixed; that's great.

You are very sweet to also make the point that it should be her that's moving. I'm actually very surprised and grateful that, in the middle of all of this chaos, I found out that I qualify for a bungalow, even though I'm only 45. My dream has been to get out of living in flats, and so much awful stuff has happened at this flat ... I'm very grateful and relieved at the prospect of moving, and also feel it's absolutely lovely that you and others are so supportive of my right to live in my own choice of home.

The problem I have about the noise is it is very unpredictable ... and it can either be her slamming a door, thumping about, banging very loudly on the floor deliberately, occasionally loud music, kids suddenly stomping so loudly up the stairs, things like that ... the noise sets my nerves so on edge, makes me jump, and is so clearly deliberately inconsiderate that I just put on my headphones ... I get too distressed otherwise and prefer to make a note of it, tune it out, and, as I did last week, use those notes to make the full complaint I've made.

The problems with the neighbour are on all kinds of levels ... noise, mental, emotional, the effect on my physical health ... I've noted down about the option of involving a community support officer. I'd never have thought of that. Many thanks.

Thanks so much for your support and empathy, and I'll certainly post about what happens. The site link is great; really appreciate that.

Many thanks, Cat ((hugs)) xx

catalina66

MCLF wrote: »

Hi there,
sorry you're going through such an awful time.

Is it possible to take photos of things such as her washing over your back door and her litter?
It may not be admissible evidence as pictures can be altered, but I would certainly show these to your local councillor.

I would be discreet. I wouldn't rush outside to photograph her actually hanging her washing out or tipping the litter into your garden. I'd simply take a photo every time I found her washing there and make a note of the time and date. Same with any litter. And anything else which can be photographed.

Of course, if you could capture her on video from a window, littering your garden that would be handy.

As I say, I doubt it's admissible evidence. But if it accompanied your written record it may help.

Hi MCLF, many thanks for your message and understanding. I was thinking a bit earlier with regret about wishing I had taken photos I could submit this week.

Last week when the huge argument happened, she had said she was coming down to get her washing pegs ... that was when I threatened police, and myself and the neighbour both felt that she could easily be violent ... I immediately starting kicking the pegs out of my garden, so she had no excuse to come down ... so there is nothing to photo at the moment (ages ago I cleared out a lot of litter ... photos then would have been ideal!). I had said last week that I was reporting her, and I was clearly angry and determined that these issues would be fixed finally ... she hasn't hung any washing over my door or littered this week. She quietened down briefly once before when I complained, but then quite quickly resumed her behaviour.

She's very crafty too, as she says that the littering is an accident, but it is clear that she is lying, from the amount and type of litter, and, when I confronted her saying she lets all kinds of rubbish drop down into my garden 'by accident', she had no reply and just looked rather pleased with herself.

I'll definitely make sure I take any photos I can as necessary, and continue to keep records, as you advise.

Many thanks for your great advice.
Best regards, Cat

catalina66

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

As a vulnerable person, you should be able to get assistance from Adult Social Services at your local council. There would be the possibility of an assessment by an Occupational Therapist giving additional weight to your housing application as well as from a social worker, whether specialising in mental health services or not.

They may be able to help by attending a meeting with your housing officer and determining what the exact situation is and how it should be dealt with.

Hiya jojo ... thanks so much. I'd never have thought of the Adult Social Services ... have made a note to definitely look into that. Thank you. And about the OT ... wonderful the support options you've brought through. Really appreciate it.
Many thanks, Cat

Bloomin_Freezing2

What an awful time you are going through!

I can't stand horrid neighbours like yours, although my current neighbours are just odd really so not a great deal of bother, apart from when the woman wants to flip out at a suggestion i make such as putting up a 6 foot fencde between our gardens as I don't want the 4 foot fence which was orginally there. Why would anyone want their neighbours to be able to look into their gardens?? I certainy didn't so up the fence went!

Try as much as you can with your Housing Association (they dont always act like it but there are there to help), your local MP if need be, CAB.

If you really feel that your HA are not helping you there is always the Housing Association Ombudsman http://www.housing-ombudsman.org.uk/

Primrose

Cat - You've received some good advice here and hopefully it will enable you to move forward in a more positive way. Just one further thought. Whenever you e-mail your Councillors or Council, do a "Read receipt" for your e-mail, and preferably send any letters Recorded Delivery. Keep a printed hard copy of them in a folder with your Log Sheet so that you have printed written evidence of your effords to get this issue resolved.

In our area, our local Neighbourhood Police Team (& our Police Community Support Officers have a lot of contact with our local communities) have on certain occasions got involved with specific complaints about Neighbour Bad Behaviour and have either worked with Social Services to ensure an eviction, or to issue the individual/s concerned with an ASBO,(Anti Social Behaviour Order) so don't rule out your local police team. ASBOs arn't just issued to young people who threaten people & behave badly in their community; they can be issued for various kinds of misbehaviour to all age groups. Good luck in your efforts to get this sorted.

catalina66

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

What an awful time you are going through!

I can't stand horrid neighbours like yours, although my current neighbours are just odd really so not a great deal of bother, apart from when the woman wants to flip out at a suggestion i make such as putting up a 6 foot fencde between our gardens as I don't want the 4 foot fence which was orginally there. Why would anyone want their neighbours to be able to look into their gardens?? I certainy didn't so up the fence went!

Try as much as you can with your Housing Association (they dont always act like it but there are there to help), your local MP if need be, CAB.

If you really feel that your HA are not helping you there is always the Housing Association Ombudsman http://www.housing-ombudsman.org.uk/

Thanks so much bloomin freezin ... much appreciate your understanding. Yes, these people are truly horrible, you're right. And I'm with you about your 6 foot fence; it's your property and I'm glad you've put up your fence!

Many thanks for your advice. I am definitely going to email the councillor, but very concerned now, as I just got the most dreadful response to my complaint, on the 6th day after sending it ... utterly unfactual, full of lies e.g. that all complaints have been resolved [never], that I've been helped to resolve all issues previously [no, that's why I'm making a full complaint], that I haven't bothered to make any complaints since october 2010 [because of the lies the neighbour told about me, and the attitude of a person at the council to me, thus I stuck to keeping a record and focussing on moving, until the recent incident], that I refused to monitor noise [no, I said that the noise was too unpredictable to record, and that it would be too distressing to sit listening for noise all day], denying I have any witnesses [the complaint clearly said the old lady next door was present throughout the recent incident], that I've been interviewed numerous times [no, once], that I am refusing to have my flat inspected [no, I contacted the person who wrote to me, I had flu at the time and couldn't arrange anything, plus my health is bad anyway, and it was agreed I call her when I'm ready for the inspection], etc etc etc ... I have just received this response, so am still stunned ... I have already replied, stating the truth and clear facts, and most certainly will have to involve the councillor, but then the council will surely be telling these lies to her when she contacts them.

I'm not aggressive, but very honest ... did a lot of carework years ago, and can't stand injustice/cruelty, at me or anyone, and do speak up when truly necessary, which means being very disliked now and then, which is crucifying.

I'm having flashbacks to 2 complaints I had to make a few years ago ... one about PALS at the local hospital, one about a counsellor ... I won both cases, causing the PALS organisation to be clearly monitored so the abuse that happened wouldn't happen again, and the counselling organisation was put into the main UK register as having done wrong, and that they would be monitored. The lies told about me then were heinous too.

There must be someone in the council who is really negative, a bully, and me being so vulnerable is just 'food' to them. Or are they friends of the neighbour?!

I've said I will not be attending the appointment this group of people have made for me on the 21st, that I have sought advice elsewhere and will follow that up.

Shattered by this. I am at counselling tomorrow and plan to talk it through there, and then write and send the email to the counsellor on Thursday ... WSN I am sure will be helpful, as they very kindly provided a letter when my IB was wrongly stopped (won appeal, thankfully, at the end of January).

Many thanks, Cat

catalina66

Primrose wrote: »

Cat - You've received some good advice here and hopefully it will enable you to move forward in a more positive way. Just one further thought. Whenever you e-mail your Councillors or Council, do a "Read receipt" for your e-mail, and preferably send any letters Recorded Delivery. Keep a printed hard copy of them in a folder with your Log Sheet so that you have printed written evidence of your effords to get this issue resolved.

In our area, our local Neighbourhood Police Team (& our Police Community Support Officers have a lot of contact with our local communities) have on certain occasions got involved with specific complaints about Neighbour Bad Behaviour and have either worked with Social Services to ensure an eviction, or to issue the individual/s concerned with an ASBO,(Anti Social Behaviour Order) so don't rule out your local police team. ASBOs arn't just issued to young people who threaten people & behave badly in their community; they can be issued for various kinds of misbehaviour to all age groups. Good luck in your efforts to get this sorted.

Hi again Primrose :-)

Many thanks for your advice. Yes, the advice here is absolutely wonderful, and I truly appreciate it with all my heart. The response to my complaint, as I've just written above, is shattering, and has really done harm; same as utterly illogical lies and witholding of information that I experienced with 2 successful complaints years ago. Those complaints happened because I was vulnerable also; I could see that very clearly and the conclusions of the complaints detailed that.

Your advice about a 'read receipt', I'd not thought of ... I've been saving all emails about the complaint in a folder on my computer, but will do as you say definitely about that and about any letter I write. I haven't used the printer in about 2 years ... budget doesn't allow.

There's some washing out again, although not quite over my door, but I've taken a photo as MCLF advised. Sitting out in the garden with all that washing right above my head wouldn't be any fun at all, plus the hassle I got over a week ago when I went out into the garden.

Thanks so much for recommending the neighbourhood police team ... I may well need to have their support, as the council's unbelievable response I feel will cause more problems for me, as the neighbour is bound to get worse, having not been corrected at all. I am much more seriously considering getting a social worker, and would gladly work with them and the police to seek an eviction/asbo ... thanks so much for explaining more about an asbo, as I didn't fully realise at all that an asbo could apply to the neighbour, and fully agree that would be appropriate.

Many thanks again, Cat