DFW with Depression Help

sickasachip13

Hi Adrian

You've certainly been through the mill with your ex etc etc. Crikey, I'm sure even the strongest and most mentally well person in the world would be feeling down after that rigmarole. I've had depression in the past and it certainly affected my spending - dramatically. But, years later, I am mentally fit and well and we're tackling our debts.

It sounds like you're well out of that situation and there's little point in dwelling on stuff from the past, what's important is what happens now and the in the future. You're right about your little girl - you don't need to spend money to prove anything to her. What she'll remember in the future is that you were an involved and engaged daddy who was there, not whether or not you bought her a new doll etc.

You're doing the right thing starting to tackle this stuff and going to the GP is definitely the right place to start and it sounds like your parents are being supportive.

Onwards and upwards

SAAC13

downsizer3

Well done for ending things with your ex - hard to do but undoubtedly the first step in your journey out of this cycle you are in .
Debt problems lead to depression which leads to more debt IMO - it just spirals down and down.
Just want to wish you all the best both in finding the right path for your depression and your finances. I've no doubt that dealing with the debt will help enormously.
Good luck.

Hovel_lady

Hope the appointment with your doctor was helpful x

savingholmes

Hi Adrian - thanks for sharing your story... Hopefully things will now start to improve with help from your GP and family and friends on here and locally to you

carer_adrian

Well i had my appointment with a female Doctor and she was totally amazing she sat and listened to my story i told her everything , from what happened with my ex girlfriend to how unhappy i am at work i have decided to do three courses of action 1 take a week on the sick i havent had a holiday in 15 month and its about time i just relaxed a little work have also took advantage of my good nature putting me down on the rota and not asking me i have done12 14 and even 16 hour shifts over the last three months and this has burnt me out i am sure there will be care workers out there and know where i am coming from, with the long hours i feel like i have a duty to my residents and i just feel at the moment i just cannot go into work at the moment but i will not stay away.
2 I am going to go to counselling
3 I am going to take a two week course of anti depressants

I then have to see the same doctor in two weeks time to discuss how iam feeling and to see if there is any further action that needs taken.
My plans now is simple i need to take every day as it comes i am going to focus with baby steps before i make big leaps i am blessed with a good family with good friends and my daughters mum are all important and i am going to get them to surround me and support me.

Hovel_lady

I am so pleased your doctor was helpful.
We're here if we can help with anything and do let us know how you get on xx

dancingfairy

It sounds like work have put you in a very difficult position - it's clearly not going to be doing you any good to be working ridiculous shifts like that on top of the debt and the ex issue as well.
Your plan sounds good - take some time off to think of you and your daughter and start to build a new future.
Once you are feeling a little stronger in yourself I'd also consider ringing one of the debt helplines to go through your options. I know you probably want shot of your debt as quickly as possible but you have to have a quality of life as well, so if that means that the payments to your creditors have to be lower (due to working less hours etc) then so be it.
I think also with depression it can all be so overwhelming so baby steps is the way forward.
Best of Luck
df

Erme

It sounds crazy but are you eating properly?

I suffer with psychosis and depression and anxiety and I find along with exercise I need to 'eat, sleep and take meds'....- now that's just for me and meds aren't the whole answer...

taking a week off work just to recharge sounds like a great idea....just been nice to yourself...take yourself to the park and feel the wind on your face, go out for a coffee with friends, even meet up with friends....You can do this....You've come so far...

Also exercise wise? Do you have an MP3 player...try the couch to 5k program (google it) and the podcasts....find it helps me so much though now I get the voices with it....

Depression is common but it's not going down that's the crime but staying down...You are lucky to have your job and your house...and you are right you can't buy your daughter's love but you can show her you care by taking an interest in her and giving her space when she needs it...

Hope that helps...

E

sickasachip13

Hi Adrian, it sounds like your GP was extremely helpful and I'm really pleased that you have some options to consider. You do need to be careful working in the caring sector because so many people do burn out - look after yourself. You know, a little bit of time off, a couple of weeks on the pills and some counselling and I think you're going to be really rounding the cape!

carer_adrian

Thanks guys for all of your responses its great and really encouraging to hear from you all its been very hard to get onto a computer as my mum has changed broadband band supplier but hence i joined the library, and i get to use the computer for free and i can get a book to read aswell. Well since i last spoke i have been very busy with my self, i joined a local credit union which will definately has its advantages, i have bought myself a DAB radio at a car boot for my bedside and i also have started decluttering things around me (i have recycled my old clothes) and got £20 for them i have joined a local NHS health training programme to which is going to have its benefits as i can discuss my diet and also show me how i can lose a few pounds i am forever grateful to my daughters mum aswell i have been seeing my daughter a little extra this week and my daughters face just lit up when myself and her mum picked her up from school it was magical, i was able to have my tea at her home which meant a lot to her. For me now i am trying to be bright and cheerful i want to keep being positive and look towards clearing my debt, decluttering things around me, making new friends, and getting a new job closer to home, it has been so beneficial writing on money saving expert aswell