DFW with Depression Help

carer_adrian

Hi i have Depression and just feel so low i am planning to go to the Doctors tomorrow to talk about ways in going forward to sort this out, I would love to hear from people

QueenB.

Depression was one of the reasons i got into debt in the first place and my daughter has also suffered with it alot. you are doing the best thing by seeking help. I know how hard everything can be when you are depressed but the Doc should be able to put you on the right path to deal with it. Don't expect things to work straight away but allow yourself and the treatment time and make sure you surrond yourself with your family and friends, even if you don't feel like it. Good luck.:)

immoral_angeluk

I've recently come out the other side of depression and anxiety and can recommend 2 things, counselling and yoga/regular exercise. Although medication serves it's purpose, I had horrible horrible withdrawal and would recommend that you think twice before taking medication, or at least ensure your doctor makes you aware of ALL the implications/side affects.

As a debt worker I know exactly how severe the mental impact of debt can be, so make sure you have a good support network around you to provide advice and assistance, as well as therapy or someone to talk it all over with. Don't bottle things up, as talking is the first step to recovery.

All the best x

Debt_free_by_2012

Exercise is very good, have you got any hobbies? You need something to take your mind off it. Hope you feel better soon.
All the best.

Hovel_lady

If you haven't already have a read of the "Mental health and debt" booklet on here - it's really good.

Please be kind and take care of yourself. When I'm struggling with depression I don't eat or sleep properly and this really doesn't help.
Find someone to talk to if you can - the Samaritans are very good if you're finding it hard to talk to friends.

It will get better I promise you - I got to the stage of trying to kill myself before I found the strength to go on and make me life what I wanted it to be. I'm still a work in progress and despite the huge changes in my life at the moment I wouldn't have it any other way.

PM if I can help at all xx

savingholmes

Hi - have you read Martin's booklet on debt and mental health - its one of the free links at the top. Depression was definitely one of the reasons we got so badly into debt - but getting out of debt can also help reduce the depression. I agree with the others that making sure you allow time for hobbies, your interests, socialising, exercising and ltitle treats from time to time are all necessary to help keep us healthy even while we are on our journey to debt recovery. Support from a good GP can make all the difference - hopefully you've got a nice one, if not ask around your friends and find a supportive one and go to them.

CCCS or national debtline can also offer practical advice with managing the debt side of things

Good luck!

houseotter57

I also recommend counselling - last year I was in a similar situation and my GP referred me on to a very good counsellor who helped a lot! The first 6 or 7 sessions were free because it was on the NHS. Good luck.

pete29

Hi Adrian,

Just wanted to wish you all the best. Having suffered from depression in the past, I know what a horrible place it can be. I think you are definitely making the right move going to see you doctor tomorrow and hopefully they can offer you the help you require. Making the first step is often the most difficult, as often you feel like you can't do anything at all, so well done for taking it.

*hayley*

I know that depression and feeling low has played a big part in the way I deal with and spend money. It also explains why I yoyo with money, i.e will be doing fine then suddenly go far into the red in a few days. Definitely go and see your doctor but also I found my mates to be brilliant. I was embarrassed to tell them how I was feeling but also about the money but once I did I felt so much better. Good luck with things though, you have already made the difficult first step

carer_adrian

Hi firstly i would like to say a big thank you to your messages each one means a lot to me i loved the quote that hayley put regarding finance ' It also explains why I yoyo with money, i.e will be doing fine then suddenly go far into the red in a few days' i like that Hayley thank you it relates a lot to how i can be, well i believe after a tricky couple of months i have done the initial first step by seeking help from a Doctor, on Saturday it made me realise how bad things have got for me i went to my local town centre to do a little shopping the frustrating thing was that i couldnt remember what car park i had left the car i had to think and even had to try and trace my steps eventually i found the car. Today i have an appointment with the Doctor at 2:10 pm. My debt has been associated with what Hayley says spending money on things that are not necessary putting me further into the red, and my ex Girlfriend that has put me even further into debt i am now living back with my mum and dad to help me get back onto my feet. My debt first started what i thought was for the love of my daughter buying things all of the time going places everything weekend when i had her i should say actually that i split from my daughters mum and have 50 - 50 acess, it finally dawned on me though when it was to late objects dont buy love, Love buys Love, i was in debt. My Ex girlfriend has caused me problems regarding debt this started just this past year after been with her for 5 years i thought i knew her but she has took me at my lowest and she has took me to the cleaners literally, and i am angry with my self for been soft with her giving her chance after chance But june of this year i had enough and walked away and its the best thing i have ever done the first incident i had with her was regarding rent arrears after been with her for four years at this period i decided i would like to move her and her two children into a council house that i just got i wanted us to be a family i asked her at this point to pay the rent for me and i thought she was paying for it when i was giving her the money and basically she wasnt and neither paying for the council tax the only way i found out about this was we moved into another property this enabled the two boys to each have their own bedrooms that was what i was told but i didnt no what poo she had caused and i do realise now it was a quick way to get out of the house because of the problems she caused £450 deposit i paid for a rented property and set up a new home once again totally oblivious to everything and gullible but i was happy. Alarm bells started to be raised with me though a lot of renovation work had been done with council properties within the area but i noticed my old house still had its old doors on this was at a time when everything had been completed within the area i phoned the council and generally just asked if i owed any money to cut a long story short £1800 i owed to my horror i had been took to court given a ccj totally horrified as i thought i was paying my rent.. further more she hadnt paid council tax either and hid letters as they tried to track me down. Broken hearted i tried to stay as calm as possible and spoke to her she gave her reasoning behind ever ything i gave her another chance she cost me thousands but i was in love with her. I then started to look for help on how to deal with finance i got a dmp with cap we had to do this together as a couple guess what she done it again i let her pay the cap money out of her bank account and guess what she messed up again i thought i was paying 450 pound a mnth to pay debts but after a couple of months i worked it out once again she was spending it on things to this day i am unsure what she was spending on but guess what i forgave her and wanted to move on i pleaded with cap to keep me on board i transferred all payments to my account i couldnt trust her anymore to deal with the finances even though i loved her i had enough. But then what happened to finally put the nail into the relationship i was recently doubled paid once into my new and once into my old account i was contacted by the company to repay the sum finding that my ex had spent half of the money 500 pound of the 1000 pound salary that i had ,on that day i had enough and went back to my Mum and Dads broke.

I am now in a sitution which i am pleased to be back at home but i am now out of sorts with myself i am depressed i work long unsociable hours dont see much of my friends and dont have a hobby i want to change things for the good.

jascrawf

It's good that you've reached the point where you felt enough is enough with your ex. It sounds like it was a very unhealthy relationship for you and you've found the strength to walk away. You sound like a nice chap who just wanted to make the woman you loved happy. It's such a shame there are people in this world who happily use others for money, security and so on and I really feel for you.

I ditto what everyone else has said. When I am at the lowest point of my depression, I tend to shut everyone out. I don't answer the door, don't answer the phone, ignore text messages and so on. I thought it was the best thing for me because I couldn't find the energy to talk to anyone but it eventually led to agoraphobia. Getting a network around you of family and friends and making the effort to speak to them daily - being honest with them about your feelings - could be really therapeutic for you. By just having someone to listen it can make the world of difference. Get together with friends, maybe have them round for the evening and all chip in for a pizza or just for a coffee, perhaps arrange to spend quality time with your family or play time with your daughter. Try to keep socially active and find something to do that you enjoy. I hope your GP offers you the help and support you need. All the best Adrian