Child not wanting to go on school trip

lindseykim13

!!!!!! some people!

Each child develops at their own pace, if he doesn't want to do the trip-say he's ill instead of worrying what the school thinks. Now they can't kick kids out for being ill can they?

WolfSong2000

Just my 2 cents, but my parents forced me to go on a residential trip when I was 12...as a kid I had no problems staying away from home, but this particular trip was one I knew I'd hate, and I objected strongly to going...parents forced me to go, teachers lied to me as well to get me to go (long story!) and over 10 years on, I've still not totally forgiven my parents, and still loathe the teachers involved. I had such an awful time I rang my mother in tears, and she agreed to come collect me, until, unbeknownst to me, she called the school who contacted the teacher leading the trip who then lied to my mother and said I was having a great time...all I knew was that my mother, after telling me she'd come save me from the hell I was in, never appeared. For a number of reasons, that particular trip remains one of the worst experiences of my life.

Anyhow, what I'm trying to get across is to think carefully about whether it'll work for your child and be very wary of trusting teachers...they have an ability to mess kids up like no one else. lol. Having said that, it works the other way, too - I've had some amazing teachers who have been truly inspirational. Still harbour a deep loathing toward certain ones, though. lol.

efrieze

I don't know what's normal for seperation anxiety etc but I would have thought there is an issue if an 11 yo is struggling with the idea of being seperated from parents for a few days. My 5 yo DD just went abroad to stay with her grandparents for 2 weeks without us and all was fine. I would go for the gentle push to encourage the independence.

mavisangelica

meer53 wrote: »

At 11, children shouldn't still be sleeping in their parents bed. This could possibly be making things worse for him, the OP needs to tackle this before worrying about a trip which is 12 months away ! I'd be very worried if my 11 year old wanted to sleep in my bed most nights, there's definately an issue there which needs addressing. Maybe time for tough love ? 12 months is a long time, he might even want to go then.

If there are other stressful things going on in the family life do not get worried about this. My son (an only child) spent many years sleeping on the floor in our bedroom (I can hear all the cruelty accusations already ) He had a lovely bedroom with nice bed, telly, etc and would use it during the day but come bedtime would come and watch some telly in bed with me then put himself on the floor. Then suddenly, one day, he decided that he would sleep in his own bed and that was it - wouldn't even join me in bed to watch the telly. This was probably up to the age of about 12. He is now a strapping 16 year old about to start an Engineering Apprenticeship and is definitely not a 'mummy's boy'

Sweet_Pea_2

My DD's school put a lot of pressure on the year 6's to go on the residential trip, when DD1 went only 2 children out of 90 did not go, one of them was because he was so naughty school would not take him, the other girl had to spend the 4 days "helping out" with year 3. If you have a child that doesn't want to go it can be difficult because if they don't go this can be just as hard.

My DD1 loved the year 4 residential and HATED the year 6 one because she could not sleep at night and lay in the dark for hours. She is now 15 and still refuses to go on sleepovers even to grandparents because of this, when she would happily go before.

DD2 did not want to go on year 6 residential, but went and quite enjoyed it. She has since said she will not go on another trip overnight and did not want to go to Spain with the school last year. (year 7) These trips do not suit every child and there should not be quite such pressure put on for them to go.

LandyAndy

meer53 wrote: »

At 11, children shouldn't still be sleeping in their parents bed. This could possibly be making things worse for him, the OP needs to tackle this before worrying about a trip which is 12 months away ! I'd be very worried if my 11 year old wanted to sleep in my bed most nights, there's definately an issue there which needs addressing. Maybe time for tough love ? 12 months is a long time, he might even want to go then.

Couldn't agree more. An 11 year old wanting to sleep in their parents bed needs stopping asap.

As usual with this type of thread the major problem appears to be with the parenting rather than the child.:(