Child not wanting to go on school trip

dirtysexymonkey

vax2002 wrote: »

The teachers on these trips are never held accountable for mistakes that cause deaths of children. like "river walking"
read this.mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-156457/Council-faces-river-walk-death-charges.html
I know whinge whine but it does not change what happened, the teacher is still at the school, the parents have been vilified, accused of false crimes had endless tax investigations all for demanding justice.
The basics are a Teacher took offence at a kayaking instructor who said the river was too dangerous to kayak decided to take the children "river walking " instead, those who refused to get in the water were threatened with punishment, the first 2 in died, the teacher made no attempt to rescue them.
It has taken this long to get any form of justice.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2002/mar/08/schooltrips.schools

how is that relevant to the op? it was an accident. a very rare one. your not even showing both sides.

mountainofdebt

OP

To my mind, your son either has a separation issues (however mild) or something happened on that trip last year.

If its the former then then the more you (and I hate ot use this word but hopefully you'll know what I mean) pander to him then the issue of being separated from you at night will never be addressed and could prove career limiting to him.

Having said that you will also need to address the issues if it was something that happened.

theoretica

Could you take a holiday in the same part of the world and say hello part way through the trip? Could the school use an extra adult on the trip?

willow_loulou

He probably wont want to talk about anything that may have happened on the previous trip but try asking him saying no matter what it is you will understand. Talking is the best way to start getting to the root of this, imagine if he were just playing on your feelings and actually had a whale of a time but felt hideously guilty for not missing you when he saw you. Or someone teased him that could be addressed .. wouldnt it be a wasted opportunity if it were something simple? (which from experience I really really hope it is!!)

I cant see the school kicking up any fuss if you dont let him go, they will want a reason though I know he doesnt want anyone to know but you will have to broach it eventually with them as during his exam years there are likely to be trips for many things. These he may well really need to go on.

No decent school will refuse to keep a child because of somthing like this also in the current climate fee paying schools are loosing pupils hand over fist so they will be accomodating I should think

dirtysexymonkey

willow_loulou wrote: »

He probably wont want to talk about anything that may have happened on the previous trip but try asking him saying no matter what it is you will understand. Talking is the best way to start getting to the root of this, imagine if he were just playing on your feelings and actually had a whale of a time but felt hideously guilty for not missing you when he saw you. Or someone teased him that could be addressed .. wouldnt it be a wasted opportunity if it were something simple? (which from experience I really really hope it is!!)

I cant see the school kicking up any fuss if you dont let him go, they will want a reason though I know he doesnt want anyone to know but you will have to broach it eventually with them as during his exam years there are likely to be trips for many things. These he may well really need to go on.

No decent school will refuse to keep a child because of somthing like this also in the current climate fee paying schools are loosing pupils hand over fist so they will be accomodating I should think

if every other pupil is going, and they have a waiting list (and they do, even today) then he might be required to leave. its no different than someone saying their child cant do another part of the schools curriculum.

Jinx

I wouldnt make my child go. If its going to stress the child for the next 12 months its not worth it. And I think it would be very harsh of the school to insist on it or make the child lose his place.

bigmomma051204

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

if every other pupil is going, and they have a waiting list (and they do, even today) then he might be required to leave. its no different than someone saying their child cant do another part of the schools curriculum.

It is different though, isn't it. I know it did you no harm etc etc BUT not all children are the same and some definitely wouldn't cope with going abroad with school at age 11years. End of... sorry. I wonder whether you have ever worked with children or have children of your own?? You sound rather harsh - i am not one to "pander" to my children BUT i also wouldnt let them worry for something as inconsequential as a bloody school jolly for 12 months!!
Missing a jolly holiday for 5 days abroad is HARDLY the same as refusing a major part of education such as mathematics or literature. What trip could POSSIBLY be so important if it only lasts for 5 days? Okay, it may be to Rome, reinforcing a project on the Roman Era.... but it is hardly going to be the basis of the children's knowledge is it? It may make some of the children more interested in the subject ... though, probably NOT the ones who are crying themselves to sleep because they were forced to go and are counting the minutes until they return home!!!
Sorry - we will have to agree to disagree! Oh and i went to a state school and partook in 3 (not at all compulsory) trips abroad, one to Israel when it was all but a blinkin' war zone - i loved it though when i look back now, gosh we were in a slightly vulnerable position!! I loved all the trips BUT i was 13years on the first one which was only to Czech Republic so not far at all..... so a bit older and (probably not very) wiser.

dirtysexymonkey

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

It is different though, isn't it. I know it did you no harm etc etc BUT not all children are the same and some definitely wouldn't cope with going abroad with school at age 11years. End of... sorry. I wonder whether you have ever worked with children or have children of your own?? You sound rather harsh - i am not one to "pander" to my children BUT i also wouldnt let them worry for something as inconsequential as a bloody school jolly for 12 months!!
Missing a jolly holiday for 4 days abroad is HARDLY the same as refusing a major part of education such as mathematics or literature. What trip could POSSIBLY be so important if it only lasts for 5 days?
Sorry - we will have to agree to disagree! Oh and i went to a state school and partook in 3 (not at all compulsory) trips abroad, one to Israel when it was all but a blinkin' war zone - i loved it though when i look back now, gosh we were in a slightly vulnerable position!! I loved all the trips BUT i was 13years on the first one which was only to Czech Republic so not far at all..... so a bit older and (probably not very) wiser.

if it was a taxpayer funded school then id agree with you. but its not. its a school that is privately funded and probably oversubscribed, so id have a problem with someone taking the place of someone who would gain maximum benefit from the school. especially when all pupils are going and its only the ops child who doesnt want to. despite going before. like i said ignoring it wont help anyone and the op has a year to sort this issue out, which is plenty of time and will help her son hugely.

tiff

I think youre on your own dirtysexymonkey. I dont consider it that much of an "issue" as you call it, it may be a phase that will sort itself out or he may always be the type of person that doesnt like being away from home. They are still children, where are you suggesting she takes her son to sort him out??

mountainofdebt

Could you not tell his school of the problem now but in confidence and arrange for it not to be added to your invoice? However I would also ask them if,at a later date he changes his mind, if he can be added.

I do think though that you can't allow this to continue and it needs addressing sooner rather than later.