Child not wanting to go on school trip

lab-lover

If my child was distressed & didn't want then she wouldn't go, compulsory or not. Theres no way a child should be forced to do something they don't want to especially if it means being away from mum & dad, family etc..

Can't understand why its compulsory, my daughters school had a trip to Germany but it was up to the kids whether they wanted to go or not.

bigmomma051204

He is only 11years old. He was visibly upset and is dreading going on the next one despite it being a year away. He will be worrying for the next 12 months almost. It is abroad.


I wouldn't make him go. I would accept that he doesnt want to and slowly encourage him over the next few years to stay at other people's houses over a 2 night period and hope that his anxiety disappears or eases... etc etc....

At 11years, i don't think many children would want to be in a foreign country with people who aren't their family for 5nights.

Sorry, i would be ringing the school and asking them to take the trip expense OFF the invoice personally!
I certainly couldn't live with making my child upset for a year - especially as he has come to you, his parent, with his fears and worries, probably hoping you will help him!

At least tell him he doesnt have to go if he doesnt want to - then encourage as i said, trips for a couple of nights away at friends houses/family etc - if he still isnt coping with these in a years time, i would NOT send him off abroad!

dirtysexymonkey

you've got a year to get him some help with this problem. ignoring it wont make it go away. if every other child goes then he should go. i wouldnt put up with any nonsense about being homesick as my parents didnt and im all the better for it. that approach might not work for your son but youve got a year to try others. ask for him to be referred to a counsellor to help him deal with it, ignoring it is not the answer.

dirtysexymonkey

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

He is only 11years old. He was visibly upset and is dreading going on the next one despite it being a year away. He will be worrying for the next 12 months almost. It is abroad.


I wouldn't make him go. I would accept that he doesnt want to and slowly encourage him over the next few years to stay at other people's houses over a 2 night period and hope that his anxiety disappears or eases... etc etc....

At 11years, i don't think many children would want to be in a foreign country with people who aren't their family for 5nights.

Sorry, i would be ringing the school and asking them to take the trip expense OFF the invoice personally!
I certainly couldn't live with making my child upset for a year - especially as he has come to you, his parent, with his fears and worries, probably hoping you will help him!

At least tell him he doesnt have to go if he doesnt want to - then encourage as i said, trips for a couple of nights away at friends houses/family etc - if he still isnt coping with these in a years time, i would NOT send him off abroad!

if this is an independent school then the school might decide that they dont want to teach the ops child. no doubt they have a waiting list for children willing to partake in the entire education offered by this school.

balletshoes

cheepskate wrote: »

Said i would go in and talk to teacher about it , but he doesnt like the teacher or anybody to know about it.

But if he doesn't go, his teacher will have to know about it, and the sooner the better.
Maybe he feels the way he does because its such a recent trip? Maybe a little later in the year he'll remember the good things about the trip, and they'll overtake his feelings of not wanting to be away from home for so long.

I just wouldn't mention it at all right now, and if he brings it up just keep reinforcing the fun things he did and enjoyed on the trip this year.

He might, at the end of it all though, just not want to go again.

marywooyeah

Sorry to echo the others but compulsory trip? the school can't force you to send him, especially as it is making him this way!
I'd explain to the head that your son is not going as he was upset last year and is dreading the trip to the point where he is getting really anxious at the thought of being away from you.

balletshoes

I've just read his next trip is abroad, so theres no chance he could come home early. I personally think 11 or 12 for a trip abroad without your family is a bit young anyway, a couple of years later, fine, but honestly, if my daughter at that age didn't want to be abroad for a whole school week without her parents, I'd be fine with saying she didn't have to go.

make_me_wise

I am a teacher and we/the school cannot force children to go on any school trips. No trip away from our school is compulsory, though the chidlren are greatly encouraged to participate, at the end of the day we cannot make them.

As he likes sleepovers can he maybe start by trying to increase from one night away to two. If this isn't feasable at friends houses how about at family (grandparents or cousins houses). Once he gets confidant about being away from you and starts to enjoy a little independance he may change his mind. Is this like an end of summer term school trip? In which case he has nearly a whole school year to get used to the idea. Children mature alot in that short space of time. By the time the event comes round he might just be champing at the bit to be allowed to go.

vax2002

The teachers on these trips are never held accountable for mistakes that cause deaths of children. like "river walking"
read this.mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-156457/Council-faces-river-walk-death-charges.html
I know whinge whine but it does not change what happened, the teacher is still at the school, the parents have been vilified, accused of false crimes had endless tax investigations all for demanding justice.
The basics are a Teacher took offence at a kayaking instructor who said the river was too dangerous to kayak decided to take the children "river walking " instead, those who refused to get in the water were threatened with punishment, the first 2 in died, the teacher made no attempt to rescue them.
It has taken this long to get any form of justice.

dirtysexymonkey

make_me_wise wrote: »

I am a teacher and we/the school cannot force children to go on any school trips. No trip away from our school is compulsory, though the chidlren are greatly encouraged to participate, at the end of the day we cannot make them.

As he likes sleepovers can he maybe start by trying to increase from one night away to two. If this isn't feasable at friends houses how about at family (grandparents or cousins houses). Once he gets confidant about being away from you and starts to enjoy a little independance he may change his mind. Is this like an end of summer term school trip? In which case he has nearly a whole school year to get used to the idea. Children mature alot in that short space of time. By the time the event comes round he might just be champing at the bit to be allowed to go.

are you a teacher at a private school? or a public-funded one? the rules may be quite different. if the op wants her son to remain at this school then she may have no choice, if she wont send him then she should remove him and allow a child who will partake in the entire education a place in the school.