Child not wanting to go on school trip

bigmomma051204

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

if it was a taxpayer funded school then id agree with you. but its not. its a school that is privately funded and probably oversubscribed, so id have a problem with someone taking the place of someone who would gain maximum benefit from the school. especially when all pupils are going and its only the ops child who doesnt want to. despite going before. like i said ignoring it wont help anyone and the op has a year to sort this issue out, which is plenty of time and will help her son hugely.

I certainly agree (and if you read my earlier posts you will see...) that OP should encourage their child to start becoming more accustomed to staying away from home, which will enable them to become more independent as they continue to grow up. After all, 11 years is still a LONG way off becoming an adult is it not.... so plenty of time to "grow up". BUT i also believe that children should be encouraged to make their own choices when appropriate and possible so surely this child should be given an opinion rather than all the adults simply deciding it will "do them good" to be thrown in the deep end. Yes, by all means address the issue but do not FORCE it!
If you believe a child will not get "maximum benefit" from a school by missing a 5 day excursion, i would question that particular schools teaching methods. Oh and honestly, i would think that as long as the school are being paid by A parent, they probably won't give two hoots whether one pupil doesn't attend a 5 day trip...

Spendless

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

if this is an independent school then the school might decide that they dont want to teach the ops child. no doubt they have a waiting list for children willing to partake in the entire education offered by this school.

Alternatively they may have plenty of parents withdrawing their child/ren to a state school as redundancy hits and all our bills go sky high and may prefer to keep a fee paying parent sweet. OP- Do you know what amount is the school trip on your invoice? Deduct the amount off with a note saying child does not wish to attend due to homesick issues. I can almost guarantee the school will ring/ask you about it and you can sort IF they can make it compulsory from there.

dirtysexymonkey

Spendless wrote: »

Alternatively they may have plenty of parents withdrawing their child/ren to a state school as redundancy hits and all our bills go sky high and may prefer to keep a fee paying parent sweet. OP- Do you know what amount is the school trip on your invoice? Deduct the amount off with a note saying child does not wish to attend due to homesick issues. I can almost guarantee the school will ring/ask you about it and you can sort IF they can make it compulsory from there.

perfectly possible. unlikely though. theres always a market for private education, people make it a priority.

tiff

troll alert!

globetraveller

I would go to the school and speak about your son's fear of the trip. Ask them if anything happened or they noticed him being unhappy. To be honest, if the school is happy to insist he goes on the trip knowing he is stressing now, I would worry about what else they get up to. Of course, they may well be sympathetic and happy for you to cancel the trip.
You can then work on his anxieties in small stages.

gingin_2

I have to agree with dirtysexymonkey and I don't see any harshness in their post.

My two experiences of private schools, mine and my child's, are that there are high expectations of what you will achieve and what you will become and conforming is a given. We took my son out of private education and into state education and it has been the making of him, because he didn't fit that mold and we were under pressure to make him something he wasn't. I can see how there will be pressure from the school for the OP's son to attend, the fact that the trip is factored into the fees says it all.

Cheepskate, are their any relatives that he can practise staying away from home with? Also, it might not be the same with you son's school but mine had boarding facilities and we could stay there on a night by night, ad-hoc basis if our parents were away. If it's possible, can he try doing that for one night and then building it up to two, maybe three nights before the trip ( a long shot, I know).

Good luck

bigmomma051204

tiff wrote: »

troll alert!

Who? :cool:

mountainofdebt

Spendless wrote: »

Alternatively they may have plenty of parents withdrawing their child/ren to a state school as redundancy hits and all our bills go sky high and may prefer to keep a fee paying parent sweet. OP- Do you know what amount is the school trip on your invoice? Deduct the amount off with a note saying child does not wish to attend due to homesick issues. I can almost guarantee the school will ring/ask you about it and you can sort IF they can make it compulsory from there.

Personally I wouldn't deduct the amount unilaterally - surely this is one of those issues that needs to be discussed in person?

dirtysexymonkey

tiff wrote: »

troll alert!

it seems you are.

Rikki

Independent schools are set up for trips than state schools. The trips normally play an important part of the subject being taught, a way making the subject it real.

Personally I wouldn't be thinking of him not going I would be looking at how to encourage him. If you are keeping him in private education there will be a lot more trips away in his senior years 13-18.

When he returned and said he had a great trip but was visibly upset, this could be many things but it may be he was really pleased to be home and then realising he missed you, not necessarily missing you while he was away.