I am a mean parent

Owain_Moneysaver

I'm sure your daughter won't bear a grudge when she's choosing an old people's home for you in thirty years' time.

rowansway

It amazes me that parents' income is taken into account when they get to 18. I always thought legally they were adults and should, therefore, be "on their own" financially .... They don't take parents' income into consideration when a 18+ year old applies for a credit card, takes out a mortgage etc etc. There's something very wrong with a system that penalises adult 18 year olds because of what their parents earn.

gnasher18us

rowansway wrote: »

It amazes me that parents' income is taken into account when they get to 18. I always thought legally they were adults and should, therefore, be "on their own" financially .... They don't take parents' income into consideration when a 18+ year old applies for a credit card, takes out a mortgage etc etc. There's something very wrong with a system that penalises adult 18 year olds because of what their parents earn.

Mean parent will love this posting!

It is evidence to prevent dipping into her £50K wage to give her child a decent education, and give her child the best start in life.

(no wonder students of poorer parents feel begrudged by the tuition fees-that they cannot afford to pay-to give their child a good education! The State can't give every child free money, especially if their parents income is £50K +!).

jetplane

Well go jump in front of a moving bus, then you won't have to worry about supporting or living with your daughter :eek:

Sorry but while I can understand somone may have reasons for not wanting to finance their child, and even reasons for not liking their child the venom in the OP is uncalled for.

Valli

If it were true that all parents loved and adored and did the very best for their children then the NSPCC would be able to close down its operation.

Still, unfortunately, a needed charity.

Jinx

gnasher18us wrote: »

Mean parent will love this posting!

It is evidence to prevent dipping into her £50K wage to give her child a decent education, and give her child the best start in life.

(no wonder students of poorer parents feel begrudged by the tuition fees-that they cannot afford to pay-to give their child a good education! The State can't give every child free money, especially if their parents income is £50K +!).

I do feel the OP was harsh in the initial post, however they have paid for the daughter to go to private school so has already significantly paid for a decent education and a good start in life.

My hubby and I are currently paying for my daughter at uni and we together are probably earning what the OP does and I can honestly say we am skint as we subsidise her quite heavily! We are therefore not able to do some things we would like to.

Of course this is our choice and we will continue to do all we can but I can completely understand if this wasnt going to be valued/appreciated then it would not be half as forthcoming! Maybe the OP feels this to be the case.

Voyager2002

Being purely pragmatic, what the OP wants is for the daughter to spend the next few years a long way away from home. If no parental contribution is paid, this is not going to happen: maybe the daughter will start a course, but financial pressure will inevitably lead to her dropping out, facing eviction from her student accommodation, and of course returning to the parental home!

Personally, I think that paying the recommended parental contribution would be a small price to avoid the above scenario.

gnasher18us

Jinx wrote: »

I do feel the OP was harsh in the initial post, however they have paid for the daughter to go to private school so has already significantly paid for a decent education and a good start in life.

My hubby and I are currently paying for my daughter at uni and we together are probably earning what the OP does and I can honestly say we am skint as we subsidise her quite heavily! We are therefore not able to do some things we would like to.

Of course this is our choice and we will continue to do all we can but I can completely understand if this wasnt going to be valued/appreciated then it would not be half as forthcoming! Maybe the OP feels this to be the case.

Thanks for the reply - I don't know the exact ins and outs of this, and the OP has not given me any reason to be nice to them really.

I wonder if paying for her daughter to private school (which you seem to think is a "good thing") may be half of the problem (especially if it's a boarding school, which the OP does not make clear?)

If the child comes home to such a begrudging parent, they will surely feel unloved - even more so if the school is a boarding school?

The OP could have been presented more "friendly". I do understand that she may not want to pay for her daughters education, but I just feel the OP was pure venom, and I do hope the daughter does not read it.

Seriously.

mumps

I know they are maddening, believe me I do but I have just got back from hospital. My 18 year old was rushed in this morning and I thought I would just sit down with a cuppa and try to unwind. I just had to come on and say mad and bad as they are we love them. If you can afford it then I would say help him/her (sorry my head is everywhere and I can't remember which) and keep your distance. Don't do anything that you might regret.

I have had a bit of a summer really as the other one was an emergency admission last month. Both fit and healthy normally and just a bolt from the blue followed a month later but another bolt.

space_rider

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

I'm sure your daughter won't bear a grudge when she's choosing an old people's home for you in thirty years' time.

My daughter, when she was being a little teenage madam threatened to "leave me in my own filth" when I'm old. She just didn't like my rules. When she went to uni she spent her spare money coming home every week the 110 miles. I ended up getting her a job where I worked as she was always home. We have a fantastic relationship now and hope things work out with your daughter. We don't always like how our children behave but the love is always there.