MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Lisa exchange her gaudy expensive engagement ring?

JayD

Tell him, go exchange it for one they choose together and put the change towards something useful.

Xenos

Better he finds out now than later. If she wears the ring but feels resentful about it, at some point she's bound to make a comment. Maybe during an argument, maybe to a friend who can't keep quiet, maybe after a few glasses of wine. But eventually it'll transpire that she's always hated this tacky bauble and has hated wearing it for the last x years. How will he feel then? Much worse, I'd imagine, than if she'd just been honest at the start.

Buttonbear

If I was her I would definately give it back, explaining why in a sensitive manner.

My OH proposed to me on Christmas day, giving me the ring that I chose earlier in the year.

Mine's a simulated diamond ring and cost £30 off eBay! Yet it is the symbol that counts and simulated diamonds are identical to real diamonds on a molecular level - they just didn't take 50,000,000 years to develop and don't come with the huge price tag!

Why start your engagement in debt? With the average UK Wedding costing in excess of £15,000 why not get a cheaper engagement ring, stop wearing it after the wedding, save your dough and get a really special eternity ring for a big anniversary later in your married life?

That's what we have decided to do - and the wedding isn't even adding up anywhere near 15K!!

Blacksheep_3

Lisa shou:beer: ld definately be honest with her fiance, after all a life together needs to be built on trust .
Many congratulations on your engagement Lisa,
Best wishes
Blacksheep

seven-day-weekend

Headieboy wrote:

Surely if they've been together for 4 years then 'Michael' would have a better understanding of 'Lisa's' tastes and wouldn't have made such a major mistake! In any case, if they are to be together for the rest of their lives she should tell him that she doesn't like it and both return the ring for a replacement more in keeping with her tastes. Most men would rather be told that their girlfriends didn't like the ring (& exchange it) rather than wonder why she didn't wear it.

I bought my girlfriend a cheap ring several years ago when I was unemployed. It was years later when we actually were married and I had a good job that I bought a more expensive ring. She still has the original ring as a keepsake. Both rings are solitaires which I knew was her preference.

I have been married happily for 35 years.

I would still wear the ring. I wouldn't tell my husband I didn't like it (in fact, the fact that he had chosen it would make me like it). I hope after 35 years he would know what I like, but if he made a mistake, it's no big deal.

No-one is a mind reader.

meher

MSE_Natasha wrote:

After four years together, Michael proposed to the love of his life, Lisa. She said yes immediately, and he handed her a huge diamond ring. It had cost two months of his salary, a stretch, but he thought she was worth it. Unfortunately, while Lisa loves Michael she immediately hated the ring; to her it was gaudy, over elaborate, tasteless and totally against her usual style. Should she grin and bear it, as it's the sentiment that counts, or ensure his hard earned money is spent on something she adores?

I shouldv'e thought over four years you'd know your partner well enough to know if she was the kind who would appreciate gaudy, over elaborate, tasteless and know that it might go totally against her usual style. He could've asked her in not so many words what her wishes were - having said all this once he's bought it, she too must have some sense to see how expensive it is and that he might have had to sacrifice a lot of his earnings to get her such an expensive engagement ring. They could always plan together to exchange for a simpler ring and the rest of the proceeds to invest in something both of them needs. Having bought a diamond ring is not the end of the world - so yes she should appreciate it for the moment.

martymcauley

have to change the ring. tell him that you dont think that it is what you want that its nice but you wanted something a bit nicer!

wobblebum

Lisa should start a blazing row with Michael, call him all the names under the sun for buying such a horrible ring. She should then turn on the tears, and tell him that she thought he really knew her and loved her like she loved him.
Crying, she should tell him that it's over between them.

He won't have the heart to ask for the ring back, when he sees how upset she is.

When he's gone, Lisa should go out and take the ring back, or pawn it and pocket the cash. Then she can treat herself to whatever she fancies, while thanking her lucky stars she's managed to ditch such a complete loser!

ashby

Should she marry someone with appalling taste????

Shan

Michael obviousl loves Lisa very much and wants to spoil her. However if Lisa tells him that the ring is not her style, Michael WILL understand and they can use the money for a nice holiday or spend it on the house. Michael will be proud of her.