MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Lisa exchange her gaudy expensive engagement ring?

dazza190574

Yes change it. But tell him first and then go and pick one together. He might even get some money back, and with that perhaps a romantic meal or if it is a lot a short break somewhere.

faithless

Aw, poor guy, he evidently tried, lol!
TBH, if she couldn't say something to him, then I would question whether they should be getting married - surely if they've got a good relationship she should be able to say it's not for her?

I'm not saying don't be tactful though, and it does seem a little excessive to say dump him if he doesn't know her style! - some men just aren't very good with things like that, and maybe he just figured the bigger the better?

Paul_Herring

seven-day-weekend wrote:

You can always get another one later if you REALLY hate it

When would you suggest she wear the new one?

carolynb_3

But slightly ashamed to say....
....that in true moneysaving style I traded in an engagement ring from my previous partner in part payment of my wedding ring!

I can do one better, called off engagement kept diamond ring went to jewelers with his wedding ring and cried that he had called it off (lie) exchanged it for male necklace which I gave to my new boyfriend, now husband of 15 years, and also wore wedding dress I had bought for cancelled wedding when we wed. Only prob was first wedding was to be on a beach but married in Gretna ~Green in Feb on my birthday. See saving money even then. Wedding Anniversay and birthday on one day.

My husband laughs at me and my mean ways.....

sheenaf

Of course she should tell him and the sooner the better or he'll be out buying her the matching earrings for a birthday or wedding day present. If it is the kind with the sticking out stone, it will catch on everything, ladder her tights etc. Very few men have good taste in jewellery and he will probably be aware of this and OK about having it changed for something more tasteful. Far better to know now rather than have it flung back in his face at a much later date when they have their first big row.

For Keltiangel: keep your engagement ring for its sentimental value but replace it in a year or two with an eternity ring - often given to mark the birth of the first child or an important Anniversary. Eternity rings, being flatter in profile are much easier to wear on a daily basis anyway.

Roz_V

juliaw wrote:

Can somebody please explain how the men who buy engagement rings without their girlfriends present, know what size to get?

I work in a well-known high street jeweller and can honestly say that usually they don't!!

Often they'll say "the ring she wears on her middle finger fits my little finger" but this isn't usually very accurate :rotfl: So the most common thing is to take whatever size is in stock (usually about an average L-N) and then come back after the proposal to sort out size or exchange if she's not happy with the style.

Most jewellers will happily exchange or refund within 30 days, and sometimes by prior arrangement (ie. managers signature on receipt) will exchange (though not refund) after that time if the item is pristine and hasn't been worn note that even wearing a ring for a few days will mark it and probably lose your chance for a refund

On topic: definately tell him (tactfully) that the ring isn't to her taste. She will be wearing it for the rest of her life (hopefully) so it should be something she likes.

smithcvs

Like a few others, this happened to me. In my stupid romantic wisdom I went out and bought a ring for £80, 24 yrs ago (that's all I could afford at the time). We have recently bought a more expensive ring but it hurts that she doesn't wear the original even occasionally and I cannot find a way of saying that we should give it away to someone or sell it as it is doing no one any good hidden in a drawer.
Any ideas please?

Mics_chick

I would gently persuade him that I wanted to change it because sadly it's quite uncomfortable to wear and I didn't want him to spend such alot of money on it because I would be scared that I'd lose it...

Mics_chick

I would gently persuade him that I wanted to change it because sadly it's quite uncomfortable to wear and I didn't want him to spend such alot of money on it because I would be scared that I'd lose it - so could we go for a special trip together to exchange it for something that is more comfortable... Little white lies don't hurt people's feelings

christineperseus

Yes tell him she'd rather have one she likes.

Or maybe the next one will be to her taste!

How many times have you been engaged?