MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Lisa exchange her gaudy expensive engagement ring?

trundlecat

smithcvs wrote:

Like a few others, this happened to me. In my stupid romantic wisdom I went out and bought a ring for £80, 24 yrs ago (that's all I could afford at the time). We have recently bought a more expensive ring but it hurts that she doesn't wear the original even occasionally and I cannot find a way of saying that we should give it away to someone or sell it as it is doing no one any good hidden in a drawer.
Any ideas please?

Why not suggest having it made into something else for her birthday or your anniversary? There are lots of small jewellers about who'll design & make you a pendant, different style of ring etc out of your own materials & it doesn't cost a lot. I had an old (80's style) sapphire & diamond ring & had a gorgeous solitaire made out of the stone & gold (rhodium plated to make it white) & the diamonds studded into my wedding ring. Your wife would then literally be wearing the original ring every day.... just as a different design.

KellyB

I'd like to think Lisa knows Michael well enough to be able to tell the truth, if she's going to marry him

So, I'd say tell the truth and exchange the ring, obviously in a diplomatic way!

Pricefamily4

Poor poor man, if he can't please a woman with his choice of an engagement ring (which by the sounds of it is something that she really did want) how is he going to manage when it comes to christmas, birthdays and other pressies!!!

HE should leave the ungrateful cow now, as she can't appreicate that he has put himself in a position of financial security to show her his love and commitment and all she can do is moan!!

WOMEN YOU'RE DAMNED IF YOU DO AND DAMNED IF YOU DON'T

this is just my personal opinion and not the views of all men, this is also meant as a bit of gender banter and not sexual discrimination or sexism of any kind.

kezbabybabe

Yes, but only after discussing it with her fiance. I'm sure he would understand.

They could even shop for it together.

Regards,
Kezbabybabe

eileenamcc

I think Lisa should tell her fiance how much she loves him but would really prefer another ring.Imagine if she keeps quiet and has to look at and wear a ring she hates everyday.Not an easy situation but one that is best dealt with quickly.Good luck to them both.

BNU_2

Putting all emotional issues aside...

...surely we as moneysavers would have to unite and agree that two months salary (8 solid weeks of work!) for an unwanted "Christmas Cracker ring" is such a collosal waste of money that it should definitely be returned immediately for something that will give pleasure commensurate to it's cost?

Keeping it is as good as burning the money.

Katyj_2

If she can't be honest with him now there isn't much hope for the relationship! she could position it as wanting a ring for half the value that they choose together, so that they can spend more on the honeymoon! positioned sensitively I don't see this as a moral dilemma at all! Its just about good communication.

motorider

I am surprised that Lisa's fiance has bought something she doesn't like having been together for four years!
Therefore, if the ring has not been worn AT ALL (just tried not included) I do agree that with complete tact & diplomacy Lisa should gently explain that as beautiful as the ring may be, it is simply not to her usual dress code, as glamourous as it is, she feels it may be a little too ostentatious for her, so can she swop it for another. If it's be worn out & about it's second hand & is going to cost them both dearly, however, my opinion is still that it should be exchanged for something she prefers.

Congratulations on the engagement, I hope this is the last tricky situation you two find yourselves in, may you both have a long & harmonious marriage.

Best wishes David

seven-day-weekend

Paul_Herring wrote:

When would you suggest she wear the new one?

I wouldn't suggest anything. I personally would keep the ring that the man I loved had bought me. I wouldn't care if it wasn't to my taste. The fact that he had gone out and bought it for me would far outweigh all that.

moneyisanumber

If it was me - I'd have no problem if the girlie told me she didn't like the ring - I'd feel a little foolish and guilty I hadn't managed to work out what she liked beforehand. I wouldn't take it as a rejection and would much, much prefer she had something she likes. I'd hate to think that every day she is feeling frustrated at a piece of jewelery instead of delighted (or as the novelty wears off, contentedly pleased) to be wearing it.

But this question completely depends on what kind of people the couple are.