MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Lisa exchange her gaudy expensive engagement ring?

Loobeylou

pootle55 wrote:

This happened to me!
He took me to the top of Mount Snowdon to propose and I instantly said yes, but in the same sentence said ' but i'm not wearing that!' He knew me well enough not to be offended, as he knows i always speak my mind. When we took it back to be exchanged and he got £500 cash back and i got a ring that i liked we were all very happy!

Start as you mean to go on - if the man is a proper man he will understand that his taste is not necessarily yours. However, it is a situation that should be thought about and discussed very carefully so as not to dent his ego too much!

bobby_g_3

I'd be honest with him and say she didn't like it.

The fella should've been prepared for the possibility that she wouldn't like it, unless he'd done his homework on the sly without ruining the surprise.

martynhawkins

Dead_Eye_Jones wrote:

Lisa should call the whole thing off, this clearly shows that Michael doesnt know her that well at all even after 4 years. She should be very concerned, exactly who does he think he is going out with. Someone who is impressed by flashing the cash and grand statements of wealth?!

I can't help thinking that calling the whole thing off would be a little OTT, however my thoughts are along the same lines. How well does he know her?

I've managed to convert my OH to money saving, :money: although she was already "sensible" beforehand. Two months pay is a lot of money, especially when a new couple would have so many more important things on which they should spend the money.

My OH and I have spoken about rings and I have an idea of what styles she likes....... Although the surprise is nice, a couple can tell if they are heading towards marriage or just a few more nights of passion so there is never really a complete surprise, surely?

Honesty is important. I competely agree with those who have said, "why start the engagement with a lie?" And if the couple cannot communicate honestly and openly after four years, well, maybe heading towards marriage isn't the best option.

I would expect my OH to tell me, bluntly and honestly. It's not about being ungreatful as someone else said. Someone that really cared for you wouldn't accept an expensive present that they hated, would they? It's the proposal that's important, going that next step. And besides, he'd have to learn eventually that his OH is always right - as you can tell ladies, I'm well trainned!

I know for a fact, my OH will prefere a ring priced so that I can afford it, saving money for the wedding/house etc etc. She should be sensible, tell him the truth - then get him to sign up to this website and learn about the value of money! I hate to sound "bah humbug" - but what's in a ring? Love is important.

patchwork_cat

Yes take the ring back and get one she likes - It would be a mistake to start off on such a note as hopefully she will wear the ring for a long time.

Some people do believe in lying to their partner for an easy life or not to hurt their feelings, but IMHO the MOST important thing in a relationship is trust and honesty.

Australia

There is no easy way to tell him but YES defffinately she should tell him. She will wear this for the remainder of her life and it is important that she feels good doing so. Imagine if he found out many years later how she really felt?? He would be devastated and would question her honesty throughout the past years of marriage.

seven-day-weekend

I think you're all a lot of ungrateful and unromantic so-and-sos!

Keep it and remember the moment!

You can always get another one later if you REALLY hate it, but I personally wouldn't bother.

mrsbez_2

Yes she should definately exchange it for a different one. One she likes! But within his budget or cheaper.

I worked in a lovely jewellers before i started having my babies, and i always remember this one young lad who bought an engagement ring which was a good £1000, she didn't like it and came in to change it for one worth £2500. The poor chaps face as he maxed out all his credit cards to pay for it. Shall we say this is not what love should be about!!!!!!

Luckily on the other hand i managed to get my engagement ring made cheaply as i worked there, so at least i did some moneysaving. And no, my husband wouldn't of dreamt of buying the ring without me there!

STERRYVISION

Of course she should wear it and stay quiet, He's worked hard to buy it and what a token of his Love. Diamonds really are a girls best friend:-)

MimiJane

She should tell him it's lovely but a little too "flashy" for her, then suggest them both going to exchange it for one she likes.

Primrose

Difficult one, but as she will be wearing it for the remainder of her life I think she should use this situation to reflect the honesty she would like to prevail in their future relationship by telling him that she doesn't like it and would like to exchange it for something simpler and less gaudy. Personally I think it's far better that couples should choose an engagement ring together, rather than a girl having something inflicted on her which may not be to her taste (but then I'm a rather independent type and actually paid for my own engagement ring because my husband was desperately hard up at the time and I was earning more than he was. It certainly didn't matter a jot to me, and we often joke about it now.) But I would far rather be wearing that one than some expensive gaudy one that had been thrust on me and which I disliked.