MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Lisa exchange her gaudy expensive engagement ring?

BNU_2

I would say change it.

It's a lot of money to waste on something that doesn't give you pleasure and the ring is really only a token to symbolise the commitment you have made to each other it's the proposal and acceptance that is important.

You'll need to handle the situation carefully so as not to hurt his feelings - but could you disguise your dislike of the ring by saying you needed one that would sit better beside a wedding ring for example? Or say it catches on your clothes or something? Just a thought!

I'm very proud to add....
....that my engagement ring (diamond & topaz) cost just £135 (before credit charges - grrr! - but it was the only way he could afford it without me knowing at the time - back in 1988)

But slightly ashamed to say....
....that in true moneysaving style I traded in an engagement ring from my previous partner in part payment of my wedding ring!

Such is life....

deborah007

But slightly ashamed to say....
....that in true moneysaving style I traded in an engagement ring from my previous partner in part payment of my wedding ring!


:rotfl: love it!!

She should tell him that although she loves the idea that he can think for himself he really isn't very good at it and now that they are to be married he should leave all the difficult stuff to her!

Deb

BNU_2

deborah007 wrote:

She should tell him that although she loves the idea that he can think for himself he really isn't very good at it and now that they are to be married he should leave all the difficult stuff to her!

Deb

Oh - so cutting - but funny though... :rotfl:

Is this the voice of experience?

rach

definitely tell him and change it. she'll hate it more and more over the years!

heather38

funnily enough my work mates and i talked about this when i got engaged, and of 5 married collegues only 1 liked their ring and 2 had kept the one they didn't like coz their OH had chosen it and 2 had exchanged theirs for nicer ones!!
do what feels right or she could just not wear it when they get married and just wear a wedding ring.

Money~Bunny_3

She should wait a couple of weeks to see if the ring grows on her. If she still dislikes it then do as drsims said - explain that she loves him very much but the ring isn't her style. Yes he will be miffed for a few days, but if she doesn't tell him, she'll be stuck wearing an item of jewellery she hates. Not the best way to start a marriage!

gazbert_2

This is the best plan in my opinion.

I bought my OH a cheap ring for when I proposed because I wanted it to be a surprise, with the plan in mind that we'd go shopping later to buy one that she really loves. So we went shopping and she chose a lovely ring, and we also bought our Wedding Bands to match her nice new Engagement Ring.

She was well happy.

Paul_Herring

and he handed her a huge diamond ring. He'd paid two months of his salary for it

Wow - DeBeers are certainly reaping from their advertising! Everyone on here does realise, I hope, in true MSE style, that diamonds aren't that expensive and it's only DeBeer's advertising that has enabled jewelers to sell diamonds for such extortionate prices?

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Beers

Wikipedia wrote:

In the past, De Beers was able to create an artificial scarcity of diamonds through its wholly-owned Central Selling Organization (CSO), thus keeping prices high. The modern tradition of diamonds as a part of engagement in many cultures has been largely created by De Beers through an amazingly effective advertising campaign started in 1938. The "A Diamond is Forever" campaign not only convinced the public that the only suitable gift for engagement is a diamond, but also served to limit the market in used diamonds. [1]

My answer? Take it back, get the 2 months wages back. Don't bother getting a replacement - the wedding band should be sufficient.

pootle55_2

This happened to me!
He took me to the top of Mount Snowdon to propose and I instantly said yes, but in the same sentence said ' but i'm not wearing that!' He knew me well enough not to be offended, as he knows i always speak my mind. When we took it back to be exchanged and he got £500 cash back and i got a ring that i liked we were all very happy!

bagpuss

Paul_Herring wrote:

Wow - DeBeers are certainly reaping from their advertising! Everyone on here does realise, I hope, in true MSE style, that diamonds aren't that expensive and it's only DeBeer's advertising that has enabled jewelers to sell diamonds for such extortionate prices?

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Beers


My answer? Take it back, get the 2 months wages back. Don't bother getting a replacement - the wedding band should be sufficient.

Somehow I don't think that she will see it that way! LOL!

My advice for anyone considering this is to do what we did and go out together to look at rings so that he gets an idea of what your taste is but then go back and buy either one of them or else something similar as a "suprise". OK you don't have it for when you do go down on one knee, but if you are both in it for the long haul (17 years later and we are still going) you should be able to speak the truth to each other! Anyway this is my story:

My husband proposed to me when we were having a lazy Sunday afternoon with no ring and I said yes immediately, although we then kept this very quiet and went shopping for the ring as above. He then went down on one knee again just after midnight on Christmas Day with the box in his hand and boy I did have a suprise as I actually got......... A RINGPULL from a can (unfortunately you can't do this any more!) I still have this in the box and will always keep it, but then he did produce one of the ones that we went out and looked at together.

Everyone happy, my parents thought it was great as they were there too and didn't realise that I had already been asked and accepted, and they also thought that they were the first to see the ring and were in on the joke too, really making everyone feel part of the same family. Now all you have to do is find an old fashioned ring pull that isn't stuck to the can..........