MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Lisa exchange her gaudy expensive engagement ring?

sluggy1967

She should offer to buy him something to mark their engagement & say that she would rather have a cheaper ring to help pay for it!

The problem is, if she can't bring herself to tell him she doesn't like it, he doesn't know her very well & their relationship isn't too strong if she can't bring herself to tell himshe doesn't likethe ring. (It is only a ring, after all, God help her if she has to actually tell him something important in their relationship, like she's pregnant, or she's lost her job etc)

Kitty_Cat_Flash

Really, this needs nipping in the bud now. If it's not then Lisa will spend the rest of her life receiving (money wasting) nasty jewellery because he thinks she likes it. Honesty is surely the best policy and possibly he will be a bit sore for a while but he'll get over it quick enough....especially if Lisa makes an effort to reward his understanding if you know what I mean.

I never told my partner that I hated Belgian truffles. Received them every year for donkeys. It got too much and in the end I fessed up. He was more hurt that I hadn't told him rather than being impressed by my self sacrifice.

Take the ring back. You know it makes sense.

freebird65

Absolutely tell him.....but tactfully....she HAS to like it as she has to wear it and, as the previous poster pointed out, if she doesn't say something now, then he'll be forever buying her unsuitable things.

Personally I'd be outraged if my lovely OH spent two months salary on an engagement ring (assuming he ever pops the question!:D ) as I'd be too terrified to wear it in case of loss or damage (and would rather go on a nice holiday with the money!). To me the moment counts most, not the amount he's spent.

cefynbach

Hi I agfree with some of the other replys, if you are going to marry then you should be able to tell him its not your style. My late husband once bought me a gate style bracelet when they were in fashion but was quite happy to change it for something more original as I wasn't happy wearing it. That's what loves all about

osiris_2

My Better Half always wanted to choose her own ring.....so I decided to surprise her by taking her to the jewellers just before x'mas.....

A mate bought a ring from Singapore, and gave it to his (now) wife, but she promptly gave it back and replaced it with one from Cartier!!!

Best to surprise her with a fake ring, then go and buy one together!

RedStar_3

She should definitely exchange the ring. If they are going to get married, then they should be able to be honest with one another and she's got to wear it for the rest of her life (you'd hope, anyway) so she should be able to like it.

More to the point, if my partner spent two months' salary on a ring for me I would not only be exchanging it for something I liked better, I'd also be exchanging it for something a lot cheaper! I like diamonds as much as the next girl and I appreciate that the ring has to be good quality and stay looking lovely forever, but I would feel awful if my partner had spent that much money on a ring. Fortunately I'm into huge showy rings so the ones I'd like would likely be cheaper anyway. I reckon I'd exchange the ring for something cheaper and more tasteful and then put the money we got back towards our honeymoon. Or suggest that we used it to buy something nice for my partner as well, as it's not fair that I'd get a ring and he'd get nothing.

By the way, I remember that when my sister got married, about 15 years ago, we read that the groom is supposed to spend one month's salary on the ring. But a lot of my friends are getting married at the moment and their wedding magazines often seem to say it's meant to be two months' salary. Now, call me cynical, but I'm thinking that the major jewellery chains and diamond merchants have press officers that are probably spinning this nonsense to the media to screw more money out of hapless grooms. I'm a press officer myself (not for a diamond firm, though) and I know how devious we can be.

Headieboy

Surely if they've been together for 4 years then 'Michael' would have a better understanding of 'Lisa's' tastes and wouldn't have made such a major mistake! In any case, if they are to be together for the rest of their lives she should tell him that she doesn't like it and both return the ring for a replacement more in keeping with her tastes. Most men would rather be told that their girlfriends didn't like the ring (& exchange it) rather than wonder why she didn't wear it.

I bought my girlfriend a cheap ring several years ago when I was unemployed. It was years later when we actually were married and I had a good job that I bought a more expensive ring. She still has the original ring as a keepsake. Both rings are solitaires which I knew was her preference.

weepiggies

Hopefully Lisa is going to be wearing Richard's ring for many years to come so she should have a ring she likes. And if Richard truly loves her, although he may suffer hurt feelings temporarily, he should understand when she 'tactfully' explains that she would like them BOTH to choose another ring together

Feebee_2

Tact and diplomacy needed . Then exchange it for cheaper alternative and get the cash saved into a savings account for the forthcoming nuptials.


By George they're gonna need it!!

:j

full-time-mum

Tricky one but she is going to be wearing it every day for the rest of her life so if she really doesn't like it then she has to talk to her betrothed. If he really loves her, surely he will understand.
She needs to be tactful, after all he has spent a fortune on it. Maybe suggest that they go shopping together.