I want to ask someone out but...

MrsAtobe

GlaweJen, I really hope that you get lucky on the transplant list (I know how bad that sounds). Like the other posters, I really think that you need to be honest with him, but maybe tell him the full SP on your health situation, and see how he reacts to that first, give him time to digest that info before telling him how you feel about him. That may sound like missing precious time, but if it gives you what you crave, then so be it.

I truly cannot imagine being in your situation, but I would like to wish you the strength and courage to carpe that d*mn diem, and I hope to be responding to one of your posts in 5 years time.

squibbs25

GlasweJen, your posted has deeply touched me.
My stepdad died 21 months ago, we knew he was poorly but was completely oblivious as to how soon he would be gone.
He was taken into hospital early on the saturday morning and we were all able to visit etc, i popped into see him about 10ish on the Tuesday morning for an hour and he was his bright normal (but very tired) cheery self, but kept asking when my mum was going in to see him - mum was due to go in about 3 ish but as he kept asking for her i went to pick her up and dropped her back at the hospital.
My youngest sister joined her about an hour later, they stayed til just before 3pm as my sister had to get her children from school.
They had a bite to eat cos theyd missed lunch then my eldest sister took mum home. By now the time was getting on for about 5
My sister put the kettle on while my mum took the answerphone messages of etc, mum phoned our nan to let her know what was happening, when she hung up the hospital rang to say sd had deterieated and that we should be with him.
We all made our way there from different directions where we didnt quite get an hour with him before he left us.
If i'd have known that when i left him that morning......... blah blah blah, yep regrets even though there is nothing i could've done to change the outcome.


Im pleased you have decided to tell him.
As such a good friend he would be absolutely devestated that you kept this kind of news from him - even if you felt it was for his benefit.

As for telling him you have feelings for him i'm pleased your going for it, life is too short and people die all the time - (alot without knowing when that moment is going to be) at least this way you can make the most of what you do (sorry to be so blunt i dont know how to reword it )
How would you feel if you didnt say anything and found in in a few months that he felt the same? Wasted time springs to mind.
I know we are supposed to live for today but in reality how many of us actually do?
How many of us put off doing things today - cos theres always tomorrow?
I know i definately do

Do you have anyone to support you at the moment if you're supporting everyone around you - who's looking after you hun?

Good luck for today, i'll be thinking of you.

Lotus-eater

Our friend got married when she knew she was dying, to another friend of ours, they had a wonderful short time together before she did die. I know they neither would have changed anything they had together. Wished for more time, I know they wanted that, but they'd found each other and were so happy.
I can't tell you what to do, but I've learnt that life can't stop because something bad is probably going to happen. He may not feel the same about you, he may not be able to cope with the knowledge.
Best of luck and I hope something works out for you.

Emmzi

I can only say what I would do. Tell him about the transplant, and see what he does. Leave it with him. Let him think about one thing at a time.

You don't want to be wondering if he is with you "just because". You want him with you because he wants to be.

DUTR

Jen I would leave things as is, you are already great friends and this may last forever or it may not. You can both already do the things partners do without it all being 'official'. It's a difficult call I think I would run from the relationship side but there is no need for the friendship to cease.

GlasweJen

He already knew about the transplant, I've been on the list for a while but I got a chest infection not long ago that's weakened the heart a lot.

I told him earlier that I officially have less than 6 months left and he's in bits. Didn't tell him the rest, didn't think it would be fair on him.

Violetta_2

GlasweJen wrote: »

He already knew about the transplant, I've been on the list for a while but I got a chest infection not long ago that's weakened the heart a lot.

I told him earlier that I officially have less than 6 months left and he's in bits. Didn't tell him the rest, didn't think it would be fair on him.

How are you feeling. (pretty drained I'd guess) See how thing's pan out in the next few day's, maybe the time will present itself to tell him how you feel. Do you think he feels the same way? Take care honey.

GlasweJen

I'm not sure, his reaction is the worst so far (well except my mum she's still hysterical).

My brother said leave it a while, it might be easier tomorrow when more people know and he has someone else he can talk to about it.

delain

Have to say Jen I think you're doing amazingly well considering what you're faced with.

I hope you get a transplant and things work out for you and your man, I'm sure when he's spoken to someone he'll be OK.

You might find he'll broach his feelings to you rather than spend the rest of time thinking 'what if' if he doesn't.

CH27

Stay strong Jen:)