I want to ask someone out but...

hot.chick

tell him, tell him, tell him....

don't waste another minute!!!

I really do wish you all the best, and hope you get the heart you need xxx

January20

Ok, I understand about the 6 months of awkwardness and therefore not telling him about your feelings, but you have to tell him about your health because if you care about him, you don't want him to have a huge shock in a few months if you don't get a heart.

GlasweJen

I'm telling all of my friends in the next week about the T word. I only found out recently myself so I'm still working my way through family. It's not the sort of thing you tell someone through text so it's been quite time consuming visiting and consoling people.

Tropez

GlasweJen wrote: »

See i'm kind of thinking that if I say nothing, or just tell him I'm ill then I get to keep my friend.

If he doesn't feel the same then I'd have 6 months of awkwardness.

I wont live to regret not telling him, if I get a heart then it wont be as bad because I wont be dying any more so the pressure would be off him a bit.

Perhaps weight it up then - six months of awkwardness, although if he's a good friend then there's no reason for it to be awkward

Or...

Six months of happiness.

CH27

Be totally honest with him.
Nothing ventured nothing gained.

I hope you get your transplant ASAP & have many healthy, happy years with your man.

GlasweJen

I think it would be easier if I wasn't telling him that I'm dying at pretty much the same time. He'll know this week because I'm telling him tomorrow. When do I tell him that I want to be in a relationship with him? Bearing in mind that I'm going to decline pretty rapidly at some point in the next few months if the doctors are right. If I tell him this week (which i have to do because everyone else will know and i want him to hear it from me). Even giving him a few weeks to get over the shock would be eating into our time.

barbiedoll

GlasweJen wrote: »

It's not the sort of thing you tell someone through text so it's been quite time consuming visiting and consoling people.

Yes, I can imagine that's quite hard work, like you don't have enough to deal with!

Can't a member of your family or a close friend do the grim-news bearing for a bit?

You need to concentrate on your love-life!

There_Goes_Trouble

I think you do have to tell him, about your health but also about how you feel about him. Would a letter be easier? You can be sat with him while he reads it. It means you can plan your words, and don't get caught in the emotion of the moment and say things wrong. Mind you, if you've spent the last few weeks telling your family then I guess you've got the words pretty much sorted by now. I'd say something like, "this is how I really feel about you, however before you make any decisions on a relationship with me you need to know this about my health. I appreciate that this may not be a good time to start a relationship and if you don't want to then that's fine, but please don't feel awkward about still being my friend. I'm going to need you."

One other thing, if you don't tell him how you feel and it turns out he feels the same but is also too afraid to tell you, he could live the rest of his life full of regret as well. You owe it to the both of you to get your feelings out in the open.

By the way, you come across and a very measured and pretty amazing person in this thread. I don't think I would be handling things as well as you appear to be. I'm sure you're torn up inside, but just this sentance below tells a whole story about you, thinking of other peoples needs at what is such a difficult time for yourself. I hope things work out well for you.

GlasweJen wrote: »

it's been quite time consuming visiting and consoling people.

GlasweJen

I tried getting my parents to do it but my dad just goes white and my mums not stopped crying in over a week so that's not worked out too well.

Also my brother told my great aunt (who we never see anyway) and you'd think i'd had a kid and not told anyone or something. No my family are all drama queens and want a personal sit down and tell. Sort of feel weird consoling everyone else but there you are.

Friends are getting it in groups starting Tuesday, telling A tomorrow because I don't really want to tell him in a group.

barbiedoll

Yes, I can see where your parents are coming from, they must be so
scared and worried......but that's not much help to you I guess.

Let them have a few days for the news to sink in a little and then rally the troops for some practical help. If you and your man do manage to get it together then you're going to want to use your time "productively"
Obviously, your family are going to want to spend time with you but make it clear that you and your bloke need some time together, don't waste time visiting relatives who mean little to you. If that means asking your mum to fend them off, then do so. She will want you to be happy, I'm sure.

Do tell him how you feel, even if it is in a letter. If you're close now, he won't want to make you feel awkward, even if he doesn't feel the same way. Bear in mind that he will probably be scared when he finds out the full extent of your health problems and he will need a bit of support too, regardless of how your relationship pans out.

Good luck tomorrow, let us know how it goes......will keep my fingers crossed! x