301k in debt and morbidly obese - things aren't great!

In_Debt_Bet

Enjoy your day Mr B you've definitely earned it

Bet

peaceandfreedom

MrBloater wrote: »

In an effort to break the cycle of boom/bust, feast/famine, all/nothing that I tend to operate on - I am having a day off. I've been pushing myself way too hard on all angles and turning this holiday into some kind of endurance challenge. Waking up shattered is not part of the solution. And this is where I would usually skulk away for a while and then end up right back at square one. But not this time. One day away from the spreadsheets, the running, the decluttering etc will do me the power of good and I shall return Saturday with renewed vigour. I hope.

Excellent decision - you are meant to be on holidays after all. Have a lovely day.

giblet1979

Happy rest day x

MrBloater

The promised renewed vigour of Saturday started well as I sprung into life at 4.15 and was just getting the earphones plugged in ready for my run when the littlies went into meltdown - by the time we had put them in with Mrs B and I got downstairs I managed to get myself completely sidetracked discovering a band I loved back in the late 80s had reformed and have been churning out singles for the last year and now it's 5.20. Anyways, so whether I get the exercise in or not is debatable but on to the positives.

- Remaining stuff for charity shops got taken yesterday
- Calor Gas canister got taken to B&Q, only to be brought home again - apparently only the main depot (and our 'local' one is apparently in the dark heart of the swamplands up by the river) can issue refunds. Not sure whether it's worth re-enacting Deliverance for the sake of a tenner.

mary_hinge

MrBloater wrote: »

The promised renewed vigour of Saturday started well as I sprung into life at 4.15 and was just getting the earphones plugged in ready for my run when the littlies went into meltdown - by the time we had put them in with Mrs B and I got downstairs I managed to get myself completely sidetracked discovering a band I loved back in the late 80s had reformed and have been churning out singles for the last year and now it's 5.20. Anyways, so whether I get the exercise in or not is debatable but on to the positives.

- Remaining stuff for charity shops got taken yesterday
- Calor Gas canister got taken to B&Q, only to be brought home again - apparently only the main depot (and our 'local' one is apparently in the dark heart of the swamplands up by the river) can issue refunds. Not sure whether it's worth re-enacting Deliverance for the sake of a tenner.

stick it on ebay...... when we got ours we bought a empty one for £5 as the deposit they charge for the first canister was nearly £40 :eek:

MrBloater

Sour times at Fortress Bloater the last few days and it's led to some deep thinking and tough decisions. But first the positives.
- A couple more bags of clutter removed
- Despite some reorganisation in the house the shed/gym hasn't become its usual dumping ground
- Got an ab roller for 99p

Negatives
- No exercise
- Too much drinking and unhealthy food

Because
- I'm not happy. And what is getting my goat? I have a lovely wife and 2 fantastic kids, I'm in pretty good health and haven't lost any hair or teeth, we have nice cars parked on the driveway and do get the bills paid each month. If you'd shown the 27 year old me how things would be in 15 years time I would have not believed you cos the trajectory of my life was very much downwards. So what's the problem? It's not even the weight or the debt - they are symptoms - comfort eating/drinking/spending are always triggered, they don't just spring from nowhere.

I'm in a career that I don't love but I am unerringly good/lucky at. It's not me being self-deprecating whatsoever. I see colleagues work far harder than me and get a lot less reward. I'm very good at PR, I'm a pretty good survivor and I know how to please the audience. And now, fuelled by a desire to eclipse my previous achievements, I find myself in a position higher than I reached at my last place before it all went pear-shaped. But sitting high-ish on this tree doesn't fill me with a sense of wellbeing or completion, it fills me with a dread. A gnawing dread that I have only just managed to put my finger on. It has taken a few days of sulks (and suggestions from Mrs B that maybe I should consider moving out) and listening to myself in conversation with a friend to realise that I am being a bit of a phoney. I don't aspire to run my own place, I could likely do it and make a half decent stab at it, but it isn't where my heart lies, I was at my happiest and most effective when I was running a successful high profile department (with all the attempted coups, backstabbing and general bitterness that goes along with it) but having a fair degree of autonomy. Now I've got further up the chain I paradoxically have less control, less leeway and far less time to do the things required. Although it's probably more about lack of inclination rather than lack of time - it doesn't inspire or excite me.

And then yesterday afternoon there were two bombshells dropped in the space of an hour - I was having a rare moment outside crisping nicely in a chair listening to the radio and the actor being interviewed was talking about scripts - and I remembered that I used to enjoy writing, and then Mrs B discovered the job she was going to go for (but didn't cos her current place promised her something that hasn't come to fruition) has been re-advertised and suddenly everything clicked. She is the high-flier, the intellectual, the rising star in her domain and has the moral purpose behind her to do a lot of good and effect positive change, whereas I flew fairly close to her sun through being good at poker / a bit of a blagger. And we now have a plan, and some applecarts are going to be upset but the balls are back in the Bloaters' court: I am going to politely decline the permanent job offer on Tuesday, I am happy to continue in the role temporarily (ideally til Christmas) but after that will be looking (hopefully at my current place) for a small step downwards to head of department (and doing other little side projects), and Mrs B is going to go for the big shot, safe in the knowledge that I'll be able to get the littlies home at a decent time and contribute more to the general running of the house. My added incentive for taking a step back is that in any time I can claw back I will try my hand at writing again - not rehashing old stuff but creating something new, something that I will enjoy, and not writing with the hope of it being published or selling loads on Kindle to clear a debt problem, just writing cos I used to absolutely love it and I think it helps to keep me sane.

This afternoon I fell asleep for three hours which is unheard of for me, and I feel like a weight is lifting and clarity is being restored. And I am very confident that the other issues in my life will start resolving themselves soon - I am not going to stress about the healthy eating, the exercise or the bringing down of debts.

Not sure that it is entirely MSE turning down an opportunity for a permanent contract at a higher rate of salary, but this is about way more than saving money, this is about saving sanity and the life that goes with it.

Buffythedebtslayer

that is extremely good to read Sir XX

cazmanian_minx

Mr B, I think this may be your turning point Wishing you and Mrs B the careers you both want

beanielou

For what it is worth life is about so much more than money so I think you have made the right decision.
I salute you.

Igamogam

Clarity indeed Mr B. I know exactly where you are coming from. I hope you will continue to update, if not here, then on your own blog maybe??