301k in debt and morbidly obese - things aren't great!

MrBloater

Almost made it out for a run today but I'm at least heartened that it even crossed my mind. The fog is slowly clearing and whilst the future is a bit uncertain, I just have to look at it as a blank canvas. We're now certain of the following:
- Mrs B is thriving and enjoying her job
- DD loves her school and we have just applied for DS to go there from Sept.
That means moving is stupid and counter-productive.
The only other certainties are that:
- I will not have my current job from the end of December
- The level of debt we were carrying was suffocating us on two incomes, so is completely untenable on one
So the way I am looking at it is this (and please feel free to jump in if I am missing something obvious).
- The job that was steadily killing me is done and dusted, I could likely jump back in the arena again (albeit on something of a reduced salary) but that will just continue the status quo
- I can try attacking the debts from another angle (DMP, IVA, token payments, negotiation, etc) as virtually all of them are unsecured. Taming the debt monkey would allow us to live comfortably on one income and would allow me to do the domestic chores, the school runs and have time to develop my own business ideas which I am sure, given time, would pay off.

lucielle

Morning Mr B, have you thought about giving CCCS a ring? They really helped us out.
L

ani_26

MrBloater wrote: »

- The job that was steadily killing me is done and dusted, I could likely jump back in the arena again (albeit on something of a reduced salary) but that will just continue the status quo
- I can try attacking the debts from another angle (DMP, IVA, token payments, negotiation, etc) as virtually all of them are unsecured. Taming the debt monkey would allow us to live comfortably on one income and would allow me to do the domestic chores, the school runs and have time to develop my own business ideas which I am sure, given time, would pay off.

You said it.............

maeiou

Having worked in debt recovery I would advise you to go to Citizens Advice Bureau - they will sort it all out for you , they work to the same criteria as the large companies but it will be dealt with more quickly and you are able to deal with a person rather than just form filling and posting paperwork off that is liable to be lost in their mail room due to the sheer volume of paperwork they deal with. CAB can help and advise on the whole picture too rather than just the financial side.
With the large companies it can take a few months to get it all in place so although they do the job it as a slower process.

Rainbow_Bridge

Morning Mr B,

Many years ago, when DS was born, DH was made redundant and re-trained for a couple of years, studying from home while caring for DS and running the house.

I had a full time, well paid job at the time, that I loved, and I was happy knowing that DS was well cared for, coming home to a nice meal and a clean house . It worked out really well for us at the time and I am sure it has contributed to DH having a really close relationship with DS and being very helpful around the house.

Mrs B could be on to a real winner here too xx.

bast

Delurking lol...... Mr Bloater my husband worked in the same industry as you. Well paid, stressful and it was slowly killing him. He has a heart disease and I was not going to allow other teachers to take advantage of is hard working ethics and keep shoving all the bad kids his way to deal with because they couldnt be arsed to get involved...far easier to shove them on him. In the end he was dealing with 20 kids in a tiny room when he was meant to be dealing with 8 at a time!!!!!!!! He was a social inclusion manager in a comprehensive school, and had more trouble with the constant paper work and so called colleagues than the actual kids themselves.
However, he took the leap to leave a job he had done for 20 years, that he had loved. Life is too short and yes we were in debt.(30,000) Our children were older than yours but we had a huge mortgage (still do). For 18 months, whilst the wonderful teacher pension agency and atos decided his fate we lived in limbo. I worked full time and he was on esa.
He has finally after a huge fight won his pension I work two days, we rent our house out and live on a narrowboat. Yes life is hard, yes it is difficult when you are in such a large amount of debt... But it will work out, it has too... I still have debt because I brought the boat, Our Income has halved so I still have to work but life is so much easier, he has no stress, no worries only his health to think about and that is what is important. His old school is still there, they still continue to run it without him lol... and what is more important he is happy. He has lost a ton of weight, still drinks far too much red wine !!!
Talk to one of the free debt agencies and discuss your options. You will be worried for ages, but you will look back and think even though this has been a stressful period in your life it will have been for the best if you were unhappy at work. Stress is the killer, life is for living.. it might be a tad sentimental but you do only get one chance at living so bl00dy start to enjoy it and do what you want to do!!!!..
What does your wife say, because you have to both be in this together especially if you go self employed.

ani_26

Stess is indeed a killer, and will slowly kill you. You may not realise it, as you become another being, from the one you really are.

I, more than anyone, know how difficult it is to relinquish a job you have loved. But bast is right. The cogs of industry will or won't, continue without you. Will anyone care or miss you? I doubt it. They are too engrossed with managing their own stresses and jobs.


Cab is a good route to take. You may have to wait some time, as they are snowed under with people like yourself. But they will advise which is the best route for you to take, speak to your creditors and put everything in place for you.

It's also worth checking what benefits you may be entitled to, although i wouldn't necessarily rely on cab for this one. Cab told me i wouldn't receive my benefits, which was simply untrue.

You may be entitled to Jsa, depending on your redundancy package? Or maybe you could receive some funding, to start your own business? I'm not sure on this one, but there are plenty of sites to check. Direct gov, turn to us.org, although they are not always correct, either. But at least it gives you some indication. You may also be entitled to housing benefit, council tax benefit, and benefits associated with having younger children. I'm not sure what these are, as this also depends on any redundancy package? but it's worth checking.


Ultimately it's your family and you, which are important, and it can be nothing but more beneficial to be a " relaxed " , stress free, ( relatively,) dad, and i'm sure you will reap the benefits of spending time at home with your own children, and having " time " to contemplate your future.

Igamogam

ani_26 wrote: »

I'm not sure what these are, as this also depends on any redundancy package?

And Mrs B income

Allypops

MrBloater wrote: »

- Mrs B is thriving and enjoying her job
- DD loves her school and we have just applied for DS to go there from Sept.
That means moving is stupid and counter-productive.
The only other certainties are that:
- I will not have my current job from the end of December
- The level of debt we were carrying was suffocating us on two incomes, so is completely untenable on one
So the way I am looking at it is this (and please feel free to jump in if I am missing something obvious).
- The job that was steadily killing me is done and dusted, I could likely jump back in the arena again (albeit on something of a reduced salary) but that will just continue the status quo
- I can try attacking the debts from another angle (DMP, IVA, token payments, negotiation, etc) as virtually all of them are unsecured. Taming the debt monkey would allow us to live comfortably on one income and would allow me to do the domestic chores, the school runs and have time to develop my own business ideas which I am sure, given time, would pay off.

That's the spirit! This could be an opportunity to have a change of lifestyle that will suit you and you family and allow you to develop your ideas through to reality (something that may be impossible if you remain in a stressful, soul destroying job).

Fizzbitz

lucielle wrote: »

Morning Mr B, have you thought about giving CCCS a ring? They really helped us out.
L

Morning Mr B, I can only second this charitable organisation. I went to them for help and were absolutely fantastic. In my case a DRO turned out to be the solution. I was a tad reluctant and upset about having to take such a major decision however one month in and I can say it is the best thing I could have done.

The best bits? An end to letters and being harrassed on the phone........ And a major reduction to my stress levels.

Go on, at least call them and see what options are available to you.

Fizz