What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

charliemaine1bee

Hi-hope i am posting in the correct section...My mum is in ICU and we have been told to prepare and now expecting the worst..mum isn't married and its just my younger brother and i who are her next of kins..She doesn't have a will or insurance to cover a funeral so i am assuming we will have to pay for everything.Mums on benefits and has a car from motorbility..she doesnt have any money albeit her money from benefits agency and has a council property..
The main thing that is terrifying me is the cost of what a funeral entails and things that go with it..cant even afford to have the brakes fixed on my car at the mo let alone a funeral..where does that leave us with the funeral directors.Just dont know where to start with it all when the time comes.any advice would be appreciated x

Mojisola

Are either of you eligible to claim a funeral grant - https://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Bereaved/DG_10018660

John_Pierpoint

If your mother dies in hospital and is truly bankrupt, the hospital will organise what was known as a pauper's funeral.

It happened to a former colleague of mine (he was a long term immigrant, perhaps his South American family had some of his money or could have found some funds; but there was not exactly a rush to do so).

The service early on a wet November morning was strangely moving and his little band of friends and colleagues managed to find a licensed premises to raise a glass and reminisce.

LilyMae_2

charliemaine1bee wrote: »

Hi-hope i am posting in the correct section...My mum is in ICU and we have been told to prepare and now expecting the worst..mum isn't married and its just my younger brother and i who are her next of kins..She doesn't have a will or insurance to cover a funeral so i am assuming we will have to pay for everything.Mums on benefits and has a car from motorbility..she doesnt have any money albeit her money from benefits agency and has a council property..
The main thing that is terrifying me is the cost of what a funeral entails and things that go with it..cant even afford to have the brakes fixed on my car at the mo let alone a funeral..where does that leave us with the funeral directors.Just dont know where to start with it all when the time comes.any advice would be appreciated x

I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time.

I have recently lost my husband, and with very little money in an insurance policy to cover the funeral expenses I know exactly how you feel. Take a deep breath and don't panic, I know that this is very overwhelming and it must be dreadful for you and your brother, as the oldest you feel the responsibilty is on your shoulders and this can be a very lonely position to be in.

If your mother passes, at each stage you will be guided as to what to do, first through the hospital and then registering the death. I was given information about a funeral grant from them. Also when you contact the relevant agencies i.e. benefits etc they should send you the forms, if not ask. I'm sure you know that they will request the mobility car is sent back.

Also be aware any benefits will stop as soon as your mum passes. Except if you have carers allowance and this continued for me for 8 weeks. Also if they over pay you they will write and ask for the money back, which they did with me after about eight weeks. Also funeral directors are used to dealing with situations like this and are full of information.

My advice is contact all the relevant agencies as soon as you can so that you get the help you need.

Take Care

cleggie

Hi All.

not sure if i can post this question here (feel free to move this post if necessary).
I am wondering how much burial/cremation costs? Which is cheaper? What arrangements would i need to make so that my parents dont end up having to pay anything?
In regards to making a will,i have no estate, but i need to leave a will (in case) so i can say what will happen to my children (they are 11 and 7). Where should i start?

John_Pierpoint

In a recent "Dragons Den" it was claimed, by a contestant who has now created a successful business selling coffins, that the average funeral costs £6,500 - that would be the full works and include "the wake" and the "memorials".. [For estates paying InHeritance Tax, these costs are tax allowable, so in effect there is a 40% subsidy].

Well I must be a cheapskate because the two I have organised were an order of magnitude cheaper than that.

You do read sometimes on the interweb about DIY funerals that have cost next to nothing "We had this friend with a black Volvo estate........" [as I remember it the fees for a cremation have to be higher, not just because it is a high technology process but because the certification is more complex - the body cannot be exhumed should the need arise]

emmylou83_2

Hi, i hope someone can offer some advice....Brother In Law passed away suddenly yesterday aged just 34. There is an autopsy being carried out tomorrow, so hopefully can arrange cremation etc soon.
BIL lived with his Fiancee, the got a house together in July, so only had a mortgage for a few months. They lived 200 miles away from all of his family, as they settled down in her home village. Already arguments have started as Mother in law obviously wants to know every little detail about whats going on, but the fiancee still knows very little. There was no will, as far as we are aware, the life insurance will be paid out to her? But is she legally entitled to be the one that sorts everything out? What happens to his share of the house? I have no idea about any of these things, and he had 4 young children from hi ex-wife.
Sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to know where his family stood legally as none of us have a clue!
Many thanks.

Mojisola

emmylou83 wrote: »

Hi, i hope someone can offer some advice....Brother In Law passed away suddenly yesterday aged just 34. There is an autopsy being carried out tomorrow, so hopefully can arrange cremation etc soon.
BIL lived with his Fiancee, the got a house together in July, so only had a mortgage for a few months. They lived 200 miles away from all of his family, as they settled down in her home village. Already arguments have started as Mother in law obviously wants to know every little detail about whats going on, but the fiancee still knows very little. There was no will, as far as we are aware, the life insurance will be paid out to her? But is she legally entitled to be the one that sorts everything out? What happens to his share of the house? I have no idea about any of these things, and he had 4 young children from hi ex-wife.
Sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to know where his family stood legally as none of us have a clue!
Many thanks.

His fiancee urgently needs legal advice. She is not his next-of-kin and will need to protect her situation.

The life insurance may be paid out to her if she was named as the beneficiary.

It's important for her to be sure how they owned the house - tenants in common or joint tenants. If they were tenants in common, part of their house will be part of his estate.

His children will have a claim on his estate.

emmylou83_2

I have spoken to her and she says she is named as beneficiary. She also seems to think that they had a survivour clause i think its called? so she is left his 1/2 of the house. There is definately no will either.
Tbh, the main concern is over the cremation. Yes he moved 200 miles away, but his family and friend r all back down south. If she isnt legally his administrator, will she be informed of this at any point, without us having to "be the bad guy" so to speak and have to get solicitors etc involved? And who will inform her?
How does probate work? Will the registry office inform them or someone else?
Thanks for the reply Mojisola.

Mojisola

In effect whoever has the death certificate can arrange the funeral so, unless his mother or other close relative is going to intervene, his fiancee will be able to arrange the funeral.

It's worth reading this - https://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/Preparation/DG_10029802