What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

vivianknow

thanks for sharing. I should read it carefully.

justin2012

At first, I need to show my respect to MSE Martin.Thanks for your kindness to others.After all, this is a sensitive issue.
In terms of this question, I want to say something. It is not my experience,but is my father's.
Perhaps this is a sad topic, but practical!I still remember that my mother passed away when I was just 9 years old and both of two brothers were at school. That is a difficult period for our family.At that time, my father had to make money for supporting us when tears on his face hadn't been dried. Time passes and tough days have gone. Things will be better.
Why I say this? In my letters, can you find out what is the most important for the living people? I hope all of us not to be troubled by money just after the death of your beloved. That could be cruel!
All in all, the living are requested to consider how the dead one thinks? What is the best way for us to fulfill the dead one's thought.

josephineparis

Perhaps Solicitors or Age Concern could compile of list of things to do, in the priority order eg see if the deceased had a will. Sometimes things get complicated if people do not understand legal terminology especially when they are distressed - perhaps Age Concern could compile something if no-one is going to. I want to ask a question, not for me personally but someone close to family. If a person is separated and their wife or husband dies and no will has been made everything will go to the husband of wife if a small estate, although the person was going to but took ill he never got the will made in favour of his three sons, one of whom was living with him but is now 18. If the living person is on benefits how can she divide the estate between her and her sons to be fair (deed of variance) or will it be seen that she is spending her estate. Is there an easy answer to this. I do believe the law should change that if someone is separated and not seen the estranged husband for quite a few years then that should cancel out the legalities especially when people can be divorced after a few years of being separated.

Mojisola

josephineparis wrote: »

I want to ask a question, not for me personally but someone close to family. If a person is separated and their wife or husband dies and no will has been made everything will go to the husband of wife if a small estate, although the person was going to but took ill he never got the will made in favour of his three sons, one of whom was living with him but is now 18.

Look at the intestacy rules - https://www.youngandpearce.co.uk/intestrules.htm
If the 18 year old was still being supported financially by the parent, he may be entitled to make a claim on part of the estate.


If the living person is on benefits how can she divide the estate between her and her sons to be fair (deed of variance) or will it be seen that she is spending her estate.

If she's on means tested benefits, she can't - google "deprivation of assets".

She could write her will so that her estate is divided as she wants.

Is there an easy answer to this. I do believe the law should change that if someone is separated and not seen the estranged husband for quite a few years then that should cancel out the legalities especially when people can be divorced after a few years of being separated.

It's up to the separated people to get their affairs in order. The state has no way of knowing whether the deceased intended the surviving spouse to inherit or not.

beverley1471

Just been given the devastating news that my husband probably has only weeks, maybe months to live.

I am unsure if i should start to prepare anything now, i have tried to read through the forum but their is lots of advise and some of it conflicting. I am struggling to take information in at the moment and feel quite numb.

We are both in are mid 30's with no children. We have a joint mortgage and bank account where both wages are payed in. We have no debts. Husband has no will. We have savings some in my name some in my husbands name. Visa card is husbands with me as addition, we have no debt on this and pay it off every month. Husband has works pension.

I am devastated and unable to think straight, any advise on practicle steps appreciated. Feel unable to read through all the posts and was hoping for an article where it would all be laid out.

Armchair23

I am so very sorry to hear that you husband is so ill. It really is a devastating shock when you get news like this.

The credit card will be cancelled once you let them know of your husbands death. So you might want to apply for one in your name now.

I would try not to rush into making any decisions you don't have to without talking it over with a good friend or family member. It's very easy when you're under a lot of stress to make decisions that can seem a little odd later.

I'd spend as much time as you can with your husband, that's something you can't go back and change. So talk to your employers about taking compassionate leave/holiday time now.

If your husband has cancer Macmillan can offer advice or point you in the right direction, they have a helpline on 0808 808 00 00 and their website has lots of advice some of which could be relevant whatever the illness.

All the best and big hugs.

Armchair23

I forgot to mention there is a thread on here called

What to do BEFORE someone dies

That might help, not sure if the link below will work.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3798141

Mojisola

So sorry for your news. This topic - https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3798141 - may suggest a few things to you.

Do get as much support for yourself as you can through these difficult times.

NAR

Beverley1471 sorry to hear your devastating news. Two things I think I would do:-
1. Get husband to do simple will leaving everything to you (unless he has any specific bequests);

2. Check with his pension provider that he has you down as his beneficiary on his death.

There is no harm in being practical in your situation, especially if it alleviates some of your problems after he passes away. {{BIG HUGS}}

John_Pierpoint

So sorry - and there was me thinking we had drawn the short straw when my dad popped his clogs when I was 21.

"Which?" offers dispassionate advice in four books (they over lap a bit)
http://books.which.co.uk/products-page/family-and-lifestyle/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/
http://books.which.co.uk/products-page/finance/wills-probate/
http://books.which.co.uk/products-page/finance/giving-inheriting/
http://books.which.co.uk/products-page/finance/pensions-explained/
(Beware of out of date versions - Amazon is still offering a "giving and inheriting" with pictures of people on the front)

If it is not too unthinkable and your husband can support you.
Ask for a copy of his work pension fund deed. The pension fund is a different legal entity from his employer.
This is not the little public relations "hand book". It is probably a pile of photocopied pages.
You will be something out of the normal, as far as the scheme is concerned, so you need to know how the rules apply to someone in your situation.

Obtaining probate gets about 3 times more complicated if the tax man thinks he is the number one beneficiary and must be paid before anyone else.
However legal partners now can share the Inheritance Tax (IHT) nil rate allowance of £325,000 per person - so is your combined net worth likely to be near or above £650,00 or is your husband is involved in "family money" (eg gets a payout from a trust. Perhaps he is named in other people's wills such as his great uncle who is also dying?).
So if you may have these complications, do ask for more advice.

[My mother (and us kids I suppose) were hurt (in particular) by the attitude of my father's childless aunt.
I also had a colleague who was not married to her partner and had almost no role to play at his funeral as his family waded in and took over.
This can be a bit of a blood is thicker than water situation and I apologise if that is a crass "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" observation at this difficult time for you.]