What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

MinnieSpender

Hi trythat

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father - I hope your mother and the rest of the family are finding support in each other at this time.

Thank you for your very useful post. Could you post again after your probate interview so that I (and others) know what to expect?

Many thanks.

montycat_2

Hi ,
My GP very willingly signed my photocopies (at no cost) ,also my vicar signed a couple as well .

hedgewitch_2

When my husband died 18 months ago, we had 6 credit cards on the go, and without his income I couldn't afford the repayments. I didn't know about Martin's wonderful website then, so I went to the Citizens' Advice Bureau. They advised me that 3 of the credit cards were in my husband's name, and the fact that I was an additional cardholder didn't make me liable - I had provided a specimen signature but that isn't the same as signing the original agreement. On their instructions I just sent a note of explanation and a copy of the death certificate to each of the 3 credit cards, and they all simply wiped out the debt - which amounted to £28,000, one hell of a saving! It would have been different if my husband had had disposable assets, but all we had was the house. As for the other 3 cards which were in my name, my bank sorted me out with a loan that covered the cards and the purchase of my husband's motability car - at a monthly repayment less than the minimum payment on one card!

hedgewitch_2

When my husband died 18 months ago, we had 6 credit cards on the go, and without his income I couldn't afford the repayments. I didn't know about Martin's wonderful website then, so I went to the Citizens' Advice Bureau. They advised me that 3 of the credit cards were in my husband's name, and the fact that I was an additional cardholder didn't make me liable - I had provided a specimen signature but that isn't the same as signing the original agreement. On their instructions I just sent a note of explanation and a copy of the death certificate to each of the 3 credit cards, and they all simply wiped out the debt - which amounted to £28,000, one hell of a saving! It would have been different if my husband had had disposable assets, but all we had was the house. As for the other 3 cards which were in my name, my bank sorted me out with a loan that covered the cards and the purchase of my husband's motability car - at a monthly repayment less than the minimum payment on one card!

hedgewitch_2

When my husband died 18 months ago, we had 6 credit cards on the go, and without his income I couldn't afford the repayments. I didn't know about Martin's wonderful website then, so I went to the Citizens' Advice Bureau. They advised me that 3 of the credit cards were in my husband's name, and the fact that I was an additional cardholder didn't make me liable - I had provided a specimen signature but that isn't the same as signing the original agreement. On their instructions I just sent a note of explanation and a copy of the death certificate to each of the 3 credit cards, and they all simply wiped out the debt - which amounted to £28,000, one hell of a saving! It would have been different if my husband had had disposable assets, but all we had was the house. As for the other 3 cards which were in my name, my bank sorted me out with a loan that covered the cards and the purchase of my husband's motability car - at a monthly repayment less than the minimum payment on one card!

hedgewitch_2

When my husband died 18 months ago, we had 6 credit cards on the go, and without his income I couldn't afford the repayments. I didn't know about Martin's wonderful website then, so I went to the Citizens' Advice Bureau. They advised me that 3 of the credit cards were in my husband's name, and the fact that I was an additional cardholder didn't make me liable - I had provided a specimen signature but that isn't the same as signing the original agreement. On their instructions I just sent a note of explanation and a copy of the death certificate to each of the 3 credit cards, and they all simply wiped out the debt - which amounted to £28,000, one hell of a saving! It would have been different if my husband had had disposable assets, but all we had was the house. As for the other 3 cards which were in my name, my bank sorted me out with a loan that covered the cards and the purchase of my husband's motability car - at a monthly repayment less than the minimum payment on one card!

sue.b_2

My husband died a year ago, just before Christmas. It is too late for stormybay but the book I found most useful was 'The Natural Death Handbook'. Do not be bounced into having a funeral that you cannot relate to just because 'that is what everyone does'. We found a wonderful funeral director who advised and helped us to have exactly what we wanted. We decorated the willow coffin and took his body to the woodland burial site in the back of his own estate car. Of course I had to get the insurance changed to make me the main driver but the insurance co. was very helpful and did not charge when I explained why I was doing it. The car went to its new owner the next day. I have always had my own car and insurance so that was not a problem.

Re probate etc. It is really easy, you just need to be organised. Do not let a lawyer get involved if you can help it. I got a grant in about a month and that included the christmas and New Year period. A friend whose husband died a week after mine has just got probate sorted by her lawyer, a year later. Her affairs were less complicated than mine. Being busy with that helped me through christmas. This christmas was alright because I had my children with me but I found the period between christmas and the return to normal in January was the worst. Other widows tell me that is common. I am an atheist so I plan to go away next year for that period to Morocco, or somewhere else where they do not do christmas.

Bogof_Babe

Many thanks to the posters who have explained exactly what probate is (I'd never been sure) and about car insurance ceasing on the death of the policy holder. My OH and his sister are still driving their late father's car, on the assumption that as named drivers they are covered, so that's a job to be sorted out first thing tomorrow.

Both me and my OH lost our dads within three weeks of eachother at the end of last year. I have a couple of suggestions and a question.

In my case, dad had written out details of all his bank accounts, pensions etc., which were very useful when the time came. However he had left a locked tin box in his "paperwork" cabinet and had never told us where the key was. We couldn't find his birth certificate or other personal documents, so after turning the house upside down we eventually found the key on a hook in a very unlikely place. Sure enough the box contained the missing docs, plus a load of cash.

We told his bank immediately upon his death, and they said to get the funeral directors' invoice sent to the solicitor for payment from his estate, without having to wait for the will to be sorted out. This is despite his accounts being frozen. So if there is money in the account then this is the exception to the rule.

When we went to register his death, we asked the Registrar how many copies of the death certificate people usually asked for (having heard that you need a few). She was very nice but unhelpful on this point, replying "it varies with people's circumstances". We decided on half a dozen, which was about right.

My father-in-law's two children (my OH being the elder) have done nothing since losing their dad in mid-November. They haven't even made an appointment with the solicitor who holds his will. I am very worried that this will cause all sorts of complications. If I nag him to do something about it, he gets ratty with me. I think they are in denial.

How long can the formalities be delayed without problems arising? F-i-l was a widower, and his estate was to be shared between my OH and s-i-l, but they don't seem in any hurry to start the ball rolling. There is quite a lot of money involved, plus a house. The estate will be liable for IHT.

Please advise, as I am concerned that there will be all sorts of problems if they don't get a move on.

sammyhammy

Bogof_Babe wrote:

My father-in-law's two children (my OH being the elder) have done nothing since losing their dad in mid-November. They haven't even made an appointment with the solicitor who holds his will. I am very worried that this will cause all sorts of complications. If I nag him to do something about it, he gets ratty with me. I think they are in denial.

How long can the formalities be delayed without problems arising? F-i-l was a widower, and his estate was to be shared between my OH and s-i-l, but they don't seem in any hurry to start the ball rolling. There is quite a lot of money involved, plus a house. The estate will be liable for IHT.

Please advise, as I am concerned that there will be all sorts of problems if they don't get a move on.

IHT (or first instalment as IHT on land can be paid in instalments) is due six months after death. Like funeral bills, banks will usually release fund to pay the tax. But, you need to get all the assets valued and complete the IHT200 before you'll know how much tax is due.

Also if the accounts are not frozen the Direct Debits will continue and this means refunds to be claimed from utilities,etc. The reverse is true with pensions - this will all need to be repaid if payments are still going into the accounts.

An empty property will have different policy terms and the insurers need to be advised so you will know the additional requirements (usually regular visits and either draining the heating system, or ensuring it is switched on) plus exclusions (usually theft and vandalism, so contents cover is often redundant)
I advise you not to rush them, but gently remind them that things will need to be dealt with sooner rather than later.

Hope this helps.

sammyhammy

montycat wrote:

Hi ,
My GP very willingly signed my photocopies (at no cost) ,also my vicar signed a couple as well .

Originally Posted by sammyhammy
The government stopped solicitors certifying copies of birth marriage and death certificates a few years ago [although many solicitors do not know this and are therefore committing an offence... they can mark it "original seen", but most companies will not accept this]. This is because it breaches crown copyright.

The offence applies to anyone who certifies a copy of a birth, marriage or death certificate. Yes, the likelihood of prosecution is low, but it's also the reason that some organisations refuse to accept certified copies.

See bottom of this page for comments by MPs -http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200001/cmhansrd/vo010226/text/10226w53.htm