What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

collor

Teddysudds wrote:

When my father died someone told us that my Mum shouldn't drive as she was a named driver on my Dad's insurance and it was no longer valid.

This was not something that we would even thought about but is obviously very important.

Yes this is correct advice as a second named driver on car insurances are not covered if the main policy holder dies. The insurance automatically ceases. You have to re-apply for car insurance cover when a spouse/partner dies. My husband sadly died last year and I found this out then. Do remember though if the policy has a while to run when someone dies then you can get a rebate on the remaining months, not all insurance companies will point this out.

collor

seroxat_chick wrote:

You're very welcome.

I would just like to say that unless you've had to administer an estate before, you've probably never heard of Probate - I know I certainly hadn't!
The people who work at the Probate Registry are civil servants. Probate is part of The Court Service - a Government department. Very few people work at the Probate Registries in the UK. At the last Registry my husband worked at, there was only himself and one other person. Therefore, you are unlikely to ever meet somebody who works there - another reason why few people know of their existence.
I think this is why so many people assume that they need to appoint a solicitor when dealing with a Will or estate.
My husband has worked for the Probate Registry for 17 years now and has seen so many people consult solicitors unnecessarily - often resulting in large amounts of money being wasted.
When solicitors encounter a problem when dealing with an estate, who do you think they ring? The Probate Registry!
I have been trying to raise awareness of the fact that PR exist and that it is quite a simple task (applying for Probate / Letters of Administration) to do yourself. However, I'm getting the impression that people are still reluctant to believe me.
At the end of the day, of course, the decision is only yours to make, but I am not out to promote PR for the benefit of anybody else - they are part of this country's legal system!

Apologies if that seems to be a bit of a rant

I totally agree with your comments and would like to add that for those North of the border in Scotland Probate is known as 'Confirmation' and it is the Sheriff Clerks Offices that deals with that.

tracymcashmore

hi im in some desperate need of some help also for my auncle. my aunt aged just 37 died on xmas eve leaving 3 children aged 9, 5 and 1.
hes in such a mess right now and i can only help to a certain extent. id b grateful for info on this as martin had posted.
thank you
love tracy xxxx

AnW'sMum

Hi Tracy

Sorry to hear about your loss. Depending on whether they were married will dictate what help is available from the state.

My husband died last year and we have 2 young children, the tax credits we were getting stopped immediately he died as we had claimed them as a couple. Your uncle will need to reapply for these in his sole name. My sister helped me with the form which under normal circumstances I would have had no problem filling in. Once we had returned it I very quickly received notification of how much I would get. If you can sort that out then at least there will be some money coming in to meet the bills and day to day expenses.

I am guessing the funeral has already taken place.

The welfare of your uncle and his children has to take a priority, emotionally they (and you) will be all over the place. Most men find it hard to vocalise their feelings and may have difficulty helping chilfren talk about the situation that has occured but it is vital that you all keep talking and reassuring each other that you will all get through this, it's a team effort.

montycat_2

Winston's wish is very good for Children .They offer good online advice and telephone advice .
Children don't always talk about their parent and ,it is often not wise to push them to .
They will need re-assurance that Dad isn't going anywhere and ,also other family members are around as well
If your Uncle needs time alone offer to have the children for him .
Also ,expect the kids to "not be themselves" -mine turned into little devils for a while but ,it is also important not to give them too much as ,they soon learn to manipulate your emotions .

Another important thing is to keep a good routine -mine needed this to help them understand that life still goes on .

Don't make promises either -my kids were horrified when someone "promised" to come and see them and they didn't -They assumed they died as well .

Hope this helps

MinnieSpender

Thanks again to seroxat_chick and pkwales for the above posts.

I have just returned from my relative's house and we mananged to fill in the probate and tax forms fairly easily. The advice booklets which come with the forms are great - really easy to understand and very helpful in explaining exactly what you need to do. The Probate Registry were also extremely helpful when I went in to collect the forms and when I telephoned them with a couple of minor queries.

Thankfully, my relative's husband's estate is straightforward and matters were left in a very organised manner. I am just waiting for a valuation to be done on the property (should be done by the end of the week) and then I will be able to take the forms in for processing.

Probate costs £90 - the cost was reduced from £130 in January 2005 - and we have opted to have a few extra official copies of the grant at £1 each. This is significantly cheaper than hiring a solicitor to do the work (and they'd add the probate costs in any event). I'll keep you posted on what happens next (I have to go for an interview). Hope this helps.

sammyhammy

Philippa wrote:

Many companies do not accept 'notarized' copies (from a solicitor) of a death certificate for proof of death and if you have to wait for the original to go back and forth in the post to perhaps dozens of companies, the process of informing utility companies etc. of the change in situation could become very long winded. And of course, one cant guaranteed that the Royal Mail wont lose the original?!

The government stopped solicitors certifying copies of birth marriage and death certificates a few years ago [although many solicitors do not know this and are therefore committing an offence... they can mark it "original seen", but most companies will not accept this). This is because it breaches crown copyright. Solicitors can, however, sign death certificate verfication forms repeating the information contained in the death certificate.

In the long run buying extra copies of the death certificate at £3 is sensible, but the government has been accused (by MPs) of turning this into a money-making exercise. For birth and death certificate, valuable documents to an id thief, many want to send a copy rather then an original in the post. This is now stopped - so you pay £7.00 for a copy (once the event is not in the current register) and are still sending a copy of the original.

sammyhammy

MinnieSpender wrote:

Probate costs £90 - the cost was reduced from £130 in January 2005 - and we have opted to have a few extra official copies of the grant at £1 each. This is significantly cheaper than hiring a solicitor to do the work (and they'd add the probate costs in any event). I'll keep you posted on what happens next (I have to go for an interview). Hope this helps.

Solicitors applications are charged at £40 plus £1.00 per copy as the Probate Registry is less involved in the solicitor applications that avoid the need for a personal application and appointment.

Many scare stories are quoted above about solicitor's fees, costs at a level of5% is not usual and costs are always set out in the initial letter to clients. Also most firms offer an 'extraction only' service where the IHT205 and the oath is submitted to the Probate Registry for the client to obtain the Grant. THis help busy people who can do the letter writing of a weekend adn evening, but have no time to visit the probate registry. The rest of the work - registering the Grant and collecting assets can then be done by the Personal Representative.

MinnieSpender

sammyhammy wrote:

Solicitors applications are charged at £40 plus £1.00 per copy as the Probate Registry is less involved in the solicitor applications that avoid the need for a personal application and appointment.

Many scare stories are quoted above about solicitor's fees, costs at a level of5% is not usual and costs are always set out in the initial letter to clients. Also most firms offer an 'extraction only' service where the IHT205 and the oath is submitted to the Probate Registry for the client to obtain the Grant. THis help busy people who can do the letter writing of a weekend adn evening, but have no time to visit the probate registry. The rest of the work - registering the Grant and collecting assets can then be done by the Personal Representative.

Thanks for that clarification.

In the case of my relative, she was very upset by the attitude of the solicitor she made the enquiry of. It's not a hardship for me to help her and as I mentioned, luckily, things are very straightforward in her case. I'm also in the fortunate position to have two close friends who are solicitors and who have offered help if I need it. I know that not everyone is as lucky as me, and in a complicated case, I would probably use a solicitor. I suppose it's down to the individual situation and help available as to which route people decide to take.

trythat

My father died suddenly in October, I was named as a executer, my mum is still alive, but she was not named a executer.

Fortunately I had read an article about people who died and did most things online ie banking, bills etc, so earlier in the year I bought a small USB key and found a really nice free easy program to use called Locknote - http://www.steganos.com/?content=locknote&language=en with this you type a document as simply as in notepad and when you save it you password protect it. Save the file to the USB key and it can be put anywhere you choose.

Also if you have a gmail or yahoo account you can email it as a attachment and it would be fairly safe there as well.

I must admit it made my life so much easier when doing the tax and probate forms, (got my probate interview next week).

As others have said get extra death certificates, and probate certificates

One of the problems I found was getting address' or telephone numbers regarding firms, it surprising how many online firms only have helpline type numbers, you do get cheesed off explaining you're not the account holder etc, and you just want to register a death and get info from them, the telephone seemed to be stuck to my ear for at least a week

Also try and get people to make a will, my partner and myself also did power of attorney (We're in our early 40's), also we have power of attorney for both our mothers, just in case of illness etc.

Try and get people to talk about what they'd like to happen when they die, I have my plot bought, wanted a green plot and to be buried. I find lots of people do find it morbid to talk about dieing, but I think it's just common sense, we all die, one of the things we know will happen