What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

sammyhammy

I think that there are a few companies offering pre-paid plans - CO-OP, Golden Charter, etc and many funeral directors are signed up to one or another. You will find some independent directors offering a more personalised service.

You choose what you want and pay the current price (either a lump sum or in instalments). When the time comes the family/friends can add to the basic cost if they wish - more cars, etc. A basic funeral with a cremation is about £1800 - £2000.

However, they do not always cover all cemetery/cremation costs. A grave plot should be purchased separately in advance and memorials can be costed separately.

One word of warning. If you do this - tell the people that need to know or keep the details with your will. I found a policy at a house after the funeral had been arranged by friends of the deceased. The policy paid only to funeral directors within the scheme. As the one chosen was not part of this particular scheme the estate only got the policy value from the company. This was £700 - £800 compared to the cost of the funeral of £1600+.

This also shows that this can be good value as only councils get funerals for as little as £700.

One estate had a council-arranged funeral as they believed there was no family and no money. The fee paid was only £400. Some costs are saved by accepting an early or late time at the crematorium (12pm to 3pm is very popular and therefore more expensive), but I've yet to see a private funeral in the UK with such a small bill.

cheapo_sk8

just bumping this one

Biggles

My mother's will, made years ago, is with her solicitor, near where she used to live before she had to move to a care home and some distance from where I live.

I have EPA and am an executor but what I don't understand is:-
How will I get the will after Mum dies?
Would they send it to me?
Will they charge for having held it?
My solicitor is soon to ask them for the deeds to her house, would it make sense for him to ask for the will too, so that it's nearby when something does happen?

sammyhammy

Biggles wrote:

My mother's will, made years ago, is with her solicitor, near where she used to live before she had to move to a care home and some distance from where I live.

I have EPA and am an executor but what I don't understand is:-
How will I get the will after Mum dies?
Provide a death certificate and your ID to show you are the executor
Would they send it to me?
Usually once you have provided above info
Will they charge for having held it?
Usually, no, but I've recently heard of release charges of £40 ish for the 'admin in releasing the will'
My solicitor is soon to ask them for the deeds to her house, would it make sense for him to ask for the will too, so that it's nearby when something does happen?
Under the EPA, unless the EPA gives you specific authority, you have no right to obtain the will. You can only be told where it is. However, not all solicitors know this and they may release it to you anyway. If you have an unregistered EPA (registration is required if your mother loses mental capacity) then your mother can request her will

Responses next to questions.

If your solicitor needs the deeds to the house for a sale please make sure that you have the appropriate advice about whether your mother is actually liable for the fees. The NHS pay where the primary need is for nursing care.

Please make sure you speak to a solicitor who knows about this area. There is a certain organisation of solicitors who specialise in this area (advice for the elderly), but I guess posting the website address may be deemed to be a referral.

HTH

Biggles

Thanks for that, Sammy.

With regard to my fourth question, I was meaning for my own (local to me) solicitor to hold the will, rather than Mum's (a long way from me and, now, from her) solicitor. It might make things simpler when Mum dies as I won't have to get ID etc to a place 80 miles away.

Thanks also for your mention of NHS Continuing Care but she is fortunate (except financially!) not to qualify for that as yet. And I'm assured regular assessments are carried out in case residents deteriorate.

sammyhammy

Biggles wrote:

With regard to my fourth question, I was meaning for my own (local to me) solicitor to hold the will, rather than Mum's (a long way from me and, now, from her) solicitor. It might make things simpler when Mum dies as I won't have to get ID etc to a place 80 miles away.

The answer still applies - your mum can ask for the will to be moved if she is able. Otherwise you'll have to ask the solicitor holding the will to send it to your local solicitor and hope that they do so (e.g. they don't really know what EPAs allow the attorney to do/not do)!:D

angelamac_2

Does anyone know a bank that will let me open an account to collect together money from my mother's estate?

Her own bank Northern Rock are unable to do this type of account

My own bank IF will not either!

Can anybody help, please

angelamac

Newgirl_2

donny-gal wrote:

No experience, but one thought has crossed my mind reading the original thread. I do all the money, know what to pay and when, where all the money is saved, etc., dh would not have a clue where to start, neither does he use a PC, but ds could do that for him, so I think I'd better type up all the info for him, just in case, but how can I do this and not let it get into the wrong hands if say we are burgled?

Saw this thread and it reminded me of what my mum had done to help me. She had a lockable box (the sort with suspension files in) where she kept all her paperwork and a list of all accounts/due dates etc. I know this isnt a secure option but it has given me an idea of what I would do... If you can find a way of DH accessing a pc, you could have an online file. Other option is to put the same sort of info in a safe deposit box at the bank and your DH only needs to know the one location. My mum was divorced when I was 14 and I was always taught if I had no-one else to help me, to go to X solictors who held everything.

There are lots of ways to hide or code things, hope this gives you some ideas.

Newgirl

AnW'sMum

It seems there is a wealth of information given out by registrars when a death is registered but we are in the situation where we are waiting for an inquest and until then only have an interim death certificate and have had no other information given to us with regards to sorting the practical things out. The death occured last summer and it could be many months before an inquest is heard at which point a full death certificate will be issued along I presume with the leaflets others have mentioned. This will of course be too late for us.

https://www.dwp.gov.uk/publications/dwp/2006/d49_april06.pdf

I think this is the information others have received which gives guidance on who to inform and what financial help may be available, which is some cases has to be claimed no more than 3 months from date of death.

[Deleted User]

I have done some basic things today, to help my dh along in case I am the first to die. I have done all the money management for the last 35 years and he would be like a lost lamb. He trusts me so has always had a blind spot re bills and access to the bank account etc

I didn`t want to overwhelm him so this is what I did
1 I sat him with me while I logged onto the joint account. Then went through all the direct debits, SOs, how to transfer money in and out etc. I then rang the bank, put my dh on and they went through all his log on details (which he has not used in all this time) and he then logged on with his own details

2 I got him to apply for his own visa account from the same bank as he has always been the second named on my card

3 We keep a decent amount of money in two individual icesave accounts and I talked him through transferring money into and out of the current bank account

4 I used the 10 minute will site and we made back to back wills plus EPAs for each of us

I know that is just the basics but it would enable him smooth passage through a very difficult few weeks if anything were to happen to me

Tomorrow we will sign the wills and EPAs and I will laminate a blank sheet of paper. I will write all the bank details on it and I will list all the accessory itty bitty savings accounts, sipp details, np&i certificates etc I`ll also write where the wills are and so on