What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

Sarahsaver

I have 'instructions' for the children like this in case anyone other than me or OH has to look after them. Having had a stroke a few years ago I know how important this all is. Even though I survived I was out of action for 4 weeks and not capable of running a house from my hospital bed.

jbatista

Your help would be much appreciated on here, my dear dad passed away on Sunday and I havnt got a clue what I am doing!

1. Dad left a will which I found, the executor is his solicitor and everything has been left to me.

My question is what are the solicitors fees like ?? I want 3 accounts transferring over and deeds of the property transferred to my name. Will that cost a lot?

2. I have arranged dads funeral as there was no instruction in the will about this. I want to pay this my self-am I allowed to do that or will it have to come from his estate??

My head is spinning everywhere, dont know where I am, its awful that at a time like this when I want to be able to grieve I have to worry about finance.

AnW'sMum

Hi jbatista

1. I'm not sure on solicitors fees but I think most usually charge a percentage of the value of the estate.

2. Yes you can pay for the funeral if you want to, usually a will would state that funeral expenses are to be paid from the estate. But I don't see why you couldn't pay the bill if you want to. Bear in mind that it may not be cheap.

As for everything else I would tend to leave that until after the funeral so that you have time to catch your breath as there will be plenty of people/companies you will need to contact in the coming weeks.

Accept offers of help and if there is someone you trust enough then ask them to help you with the practical/financial side of things. It can be so hard and upsetting to have to keep repeating the news about your Dad's passing.

When you feel ready gather together all your Dad's paperwork ie insurance companies, utilities, pension/work details, bank statements so that you can advise those that need advising. Also make notes of who you spoke (or your helper) to on what dates and what they need from you.

Keep posting here, we are thinking of you.

lil_me

jbatista sorry to hear about your Dad

Sarahsaver

Jbatista sorry to hear of your loss.
Solicitors round these parts cost over £100 per hour but I dont know if any do a fixed price for sorting this. You are right you just want to be left to get on with grieving.
Are you entitled to any benefits as u may get help with the funeral. I have heard of funeral co.s asking for payment up front.
If you are bogged down with admin you could employ soemone or get a relative just to write standard replies to everything that comes through, you know the bill reminders and so on, abnd direct them to the solicitor so you are less hassled (I did this for someone recently)
Age concern have a lot of useful information and advice and it is most importantly free of charge.
Best wishes and good luck.
I will ask OH because he is dealing with his granddad's estate.

nilocmac

My wife died at the beginning of April aged 31 of breast cancer. I have found this thread very helpful and it has enabled me to move things faster than I would otherwise have. However I think I have one piece of advice that may not have been mentioned. Do not take for granted different parts of organisations talking to each other even if they say they will.

I was told by Tax credits they would let Child benefit know of my wife's passing. And they did, but Child benefit did not act on it so here I am 6 weeks later waiting for a new Child benefit claim form to arrive (I have now been assured it will arrive in the next day or so). I could say more about my phone call to Child Benefit but I will restrain myself. This has also a knock on effect as I can not get widowed parents allowance until it is processed.

The lady at Nationwide assured me all this information will be passed on to the Stakeholder Pension Unit. This morning I got a letter asking me what was happening as they (the Stakeholder Pension Unit) had been informed by NI contrib that my wife had died. So after a couple of calls I have to return to my Nationwide branch and get my wife's death cert photocopied again as the branch can not find the first copy(the lady that copied it is on leave).

AnW'sMum

nilocmac sorry to hear your sad news and your experiences with various companies. It is upsetting enough to have to try and sort everything out when all you want to do is grieve. But it get's all the more frustrating when you are being given misinformation and have to start again.

I am glad that you have found this thread useful, you might like to have a read/post on Stormybay's thread where you can chat with people who have lost those close to them, you would be made very welcome.

dianadors

Found the pdf download available from the BBC of ot helps anyone. Its about losing a partner

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/tv_and_radio/losing_your_partner_booklet.pdf

montycat_2

Hi

You will also find help on the Merrywidow.me messageboard and from the WAY foundation.
i lost my dh 23 months ago and I have3 young children .Thefirst few monthsare hell but ,you will get through .

Errata

I discovered through bitter exeperience that when a death is registered to figure out how many certificates certificates will be needed and then double it!