What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

nilocmac

Well today I was hit with another surprise. A couple of days ago I recieved cheques for £1 and £1.05 from the Halifax for the closure of my wife's accounts. I assmued the other £4000 + would come in a few days. I decided to phone up after my experience earlier this week. I was SHOCKED to find out that they had not closed the accounts with £4000+ in them. I really can't believe this as I spent over an hour in the branch being taken through the process of closing all of my wife's accounts a week after she died. We talked about we looked at them we talked a little more and I confirmed there were 4 accounts needed closing etc. Still someone managed to stuff it up and only request closure of 2 accounts strangly the ones with very little money in them. So 6 weeks later we are back at step one.
But my wee 3 year old boy keeps me smiling...

AnW'sMum

nilocmac That is terrible, I should be complaining in writing to the chief exec and asking for the loss of interest plus some compensation for the extra distress this situation is causing. I presume you did not need the cash for day to day living needs in the early weeks or that could have caused you serious problems.

Glad you have your lil boy to concentrate on, I know for a fact that our children have helped me keep a level of sanity and normality in a time and place that is far from normal for me.

margaretclare

Hi all

I've just been speaking to a good friend of mine - we started going to the CAB at the same time. Her FIL has just died, in hospital this morning.

MIL has been in a residential home for about 3 years, and while her legs don't work, she's still 'with it' mentally. FIL has been living at home, in a (neglected!) 3-bed semi. They've been married for 65 years, late 80s nearly 90, I'm not sure exactly.

FIL fell down a few days ago, had been lying on the floor all night, my friend and her husband went on a day they don't normally go, and they found him. Ward staff thought he was improving, my friend and her husband knew he wasn't - because they knew what he was like normally. Although he was 'a bit vague and incredibly secretive' he'd been able to live at home with minimal help.

Now my friend and her husband are faced with the task of sorting out the incredibly neglected and cluttered house. They informed MIL and she showed no emotion whatever. So much for 65 years of (happy?) marriage!

The one good thing is that MIL has bought and paid for a burial plot and all funeral arrangements - for both of them. That will lift a huge burden off my friend and her husband. However, MIL says that a will was made 'years ago', the 1960s probably, leaving everything to her. Executors probably long since dead themselves. But, because FIL was so secretive, it isn't known where the will was!

D and J, my friend and her husband, are going to have to go through this old neglected cluttered and grubby house and try to sort things out - accounts, will, anything at all that they can find. FIL has 3 sheds in the garden, all full of God knows what. One room is full of old stamp albums!!! He never threw anything away for years, so there's bound to be a lot of dross to sort through in the hope of finding important documents like a will, insurance policies, anything like that.

I don't think there's much grief involved - but what an appalling job to have to sort out all this from scratch! Therefore, it occurred to me: please, please, moneysavers, do leave your affairs in order! We know 'not the day or the hour', as it says in the Bible. Make a will, list all bank accounts, addresses, any special instructions (like us wanting a green burial) and make sure the relevant people know where everything is. All important documents kept in one place - we have a fireproof metal box - and inform your nearest-and-dearest where to find things.

Margaret

seven-day-weekend

margaretclare wrote: »

Hi all

I've just been speaking to a good friend of mine - we started going to the CAB at the same time. Her FIL has just died, in hospital this morning.

MIL has been in a residential home for about 3 years, and while her legs don't work, she's still 'with it' mentally. FIL has been living at home, in a (neglected!) 3-bed semi. They've been married for 65 years, late 80s nearly 90, I'm not sure exactly.

FIL fell down a few days ago, had been lying on the floor all night, my friend and her husband went on a day they don't normally go, and they found him. Ward staff thought he was improving, my friend and her husband knew he wasn't - because they knew what he was like normally. Although he was 'a bit vague and incredibly secretive' he'd been able to live at home with minimal help.

Now my friend and her husband are faced with the task of sorting out the incredibly neglected and cluttered house. They informed MIL and she showed no emotion whatever. So much for 65 years of (happy?) marriage!

The one good thing is that MIL has bought and paid for a burial plot and all funeral arrangements - for both of them. That will lift a huge burden off my friend and her husband. However, MIL says that a will was made 'years ago', the 1960s probably, leaving everything to her. Executors probably long since dead themselves. But, because FIL was so secretive, it isn't known where the will was!

D and J, my friend and her husband, are going to have to go through this old neglected cluttered and grubby house and try to sort things out - accounts, will, anything at all that they can find. FIL has 3 sheds in the garden, all full of God knows what. One room is full of old stamp albums!!! He never threw anything away for years, so there's bound to be a lot of dross to sort through in the hope of finding important documents like a will, insurance policies, anything like that.

I don't think there's much grief involved - but what an appalling job to have to sort out all this from scratch! Therefore, it occurred to me: please, please, moneysavers, do leave your affairs in order! We know 'not the day or the hour', as it says in the Bible. Make a will, list all bank accounts, addresses, any special instructions (like us wanting a green burial) and make sure the relevant people know where everything is. All important documents kept in one place - we have a fireproof metal box - and inform your nearest-and-dearest where to find things.

Margaret

Done it (even have our English will with a Spanish translation in case we die in Spain).

roy62

Fancy leaving an old man living in a pig sty.Hope my kids treat me better.

NAR

Tell your friend the stamp albums may be worth money.

elona

Is it worth phoning all the solicitors in the area to ee if they have any records of him and have a copy of the will.

I did this when a close friend of my husband died and the people were all very helpful once I had explained that I did not want to breech confidential information - just to let them know what had happened in case he had been a client of theirs.

bbford

margaretclare wrote: »

They informed MIL and she showed no emotion whatever. So much for 65 years of (happy?) marriage!


That seems a bit unfair, he only died this morning. As a nurse i've witnessed close family members grieve in very different ways, it can often take days or longer to set in. Besides, what does the state of their marriage have to do with the financial arrangements, especially to us outsiders.

I wish the family well and hope the search for the will is fruitful, who knows, he might surprise them with his arrangements and genorosity.

simgranny

If he was 'vague and secretive' tell you friend to look very carefully before chucking things out.
When an elderly friend of mine died half of her stuff had been thrown down the rubbish chute before it was discovered that she had been hiding hundreds of pounds in cash in all sorts of places (sellotaped under tables, inside cushions etc). Goodness knows how much money ended up on the council tip!

Errata

I told my brother if he wanted to check dad's books for hidden cash he could, but I was damned if I was going to flip through hundreds of books even if that meant I missed hundreds of pounds! He couldn't face the task either!