Christmas Escape from Mother in Law & Stepson

seven-day-weekend

Let's just hope we don't all get what we deserve......

VfM4meplse

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

If you have managed to get through life treating every single person the way you feel about them, then I take my hat off to you.

You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.

Actually I don't .


I do believe in being nice to people though, and about people. If I don't like someone I stay away from them as I agree there's no point in being horrible to people. But some of the things you've said about your MIL have been quite unkind, was that necessary to get your point across? Tbh I think it has probably done you a real disservice.

shellsuit

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

My husband is a very good man and a very good father. He was not given the opportunity of bringing up his boys. Had he done it himself, i'm sure they'd have turned out ok. As it is, they're all a bunch of degenerates.

And the responses i've had, have been mostly positive. Or did you miss those?

That's a contradiction isn't it?

How can he be that good a Father if they're all a waste of space?

Why couldn't he have done his bit to help bring them up??!

Jerryjerryjerry

shellsuit wrote: »

That's a contradiction isn't it?

How can he be that good a Father if they're all a waste of space?

Why couldn't he have done his bit to help bring them up??!

I've been told she got some sort of Order from the Court banning him from their lives. He wasn't even allowed week-end visits.

Jerryjerryjerry

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Actually I don't .


I do believe in being nice to people though, and about people. If I don't like someone I stay away from them as I agree there's no point in being horrible to people. But some of the things you've said about your MIL have been quite unkind, was that necessary to get your point across? Tbh I think it has probably done you a real disservice.

Good. So you stay away from people you don't like. Which is what I'd like to do. Hense the point of this thread. We got there in the end.

Nobody knows my MIL. I know for a fact my husband doesn't visit this site. I'm slightly worried, I must admit, that another family member might recognise us through the information i've imparted.

Sometimes you try not to mention things but you have to, in order to give the whole picture. However, I have not mentioned any names, the town I live in or anything else that might point the casual observer to her true identity.

ska_lover

dumpy wrote: »

Newsflash

Green Jelly shortage in shops at Christmas

Thats cos I've stocked up early :rotfl:

ska_lover

If I had just landed on this planet and reading this thread was the first thing I did on earth, I would assume that Christmas is a miserable time of year to be dreaded after reading some of the bizarre posts along the lines of ''30 years of spending christmas with my mil''.

I cannot fathom why a sane person would put themselves through it.

You only live once people,and duty is not fun. Duty will not flash before your eyes before you die and give you good memories. Doing something you want to do with the people you want to do it with, will make you feel good and give you good memories.

Someone earlier said ''you cannot go through life pleasing yourself'' - well most of us don't. We work/come home and cook/take care of the house/look after kids etc etc etc and the list goes on. So I ask - how is that pleasing yourself? If I was TRULY pleasing myself on a daily basis, I would get up around noon, and spend all day lunching and drinking coctails with friends.

But you see - we cannot just ''please ourselves'' - we have practicalities to deal with. FYI - 'Pleasing yourself' is different from being selfish.

Christmas time is a holiday - the one time of year where you SHOULD be able to do what you darn well please.When you work fulltime - having time off from work is a real treat.And you SHOULD spend it with the people you want to, doing what you want - and if you aren't then MORE FOOL YOU. The saying that ''life is not a dress rehersal'' springs to my mind here.

I agree with the op, you marry the man, not his family. It is extreamly common place for their to be some kind of problem, said or unsaid, between a mother in law and daughter in law. In fact, I would say it is more common for that, than there to be a peachy relationship there.

liney

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

I've been told she got some sort of Order from the Court banning him from their lives. He wasn't even allowed week-end visits.

If that is true, then they aren't given out lightly. I think there is more to the sitation than you have been told, unsuprisingly since you seem to have been kept in the dark so much.

seven-day-weekend

ska_lover wrote: »

If I had just landed on this planet and reading this thread was the first thing I did on earth, I would assume that Christmas is a miserable time of year to be dreaded after reading some of the bizarre posts along the lines of ''30 years of spending christmas with my mil''. Sorry if it is bizarre not to want an unhappy lady to spend Christmas alone.

I cannot fathom why a sane person would put themselves through it. Because we thought it was the right thing to do

You only live once people,and duty is not fun. Should life be all about fun? How about compassion and sellessness once in a while? Duty will not flash before your eyes before you die and give you good memories. Doing the right thing DOES bring happiness. Doing something you want to do with the people you want to do it with, will make you feel good and give you good memories. You talk as though I never spent time with ANYONE I liked!

Someone earlier said ''you cannot go through life pleasing yourself'' - well most of us don't. We work/come home and cook/take care of the house/look after kids etc etc etc and the list goes on. So I ask - how is that pleasing yourself? If I was TRULY pleasing myself on a daily basis, I would get up around noon, and spend all day lunching and drinking coctails with friends.

But you see - we cannot just ''please ourselves'' - we have practicalities to deal with. FYI - 'Pleasing yourself' is different from being selfish.

Christmas time is a holiday - the one time of year where you SHOULD be able to do what you darn well please.When you work fulltime - having time off from work is a real treat.And you SHOULD spend it with the people you want to, doing what you want - and if you aren't then MORE FOOL YOU. The saying that ''life is not a dress rehersal'' springs to my mind here. It certainly is not a rehearsal, which is why we should try to do the right thing whilst living it and not just think about ourselves and what WE want to do.
I agree with the op, you marry the man, not his family. It is extreamly common place for their to be some kind of problem, said or unsaid, between a mother in law and daughter in law. In fact, I would say it is more common for that, than there to be a peachy relationship there.

Please notice my comments in blue above. I also would like to say that I spent far more time with my husband, son, and friends than I did with my m-i-l. But no way could we allow an lonely and unhappy lady to be alone at Christmas, even though a lot of her problems were self-inflicted. I would not wish anyone to treat me like that, therefore I try not to do it to anyone else. We also helped her with other things and saw her regularly.

Anyway, that's my pov, if others disagree, sobeit, we all have our own row to hoe.

I'll back out of the thread now and wish the OP well whatever she decides.

Jerryjerryjerry

ska_lover wrote: »

If I had just landed on this planet and reading this thread was the first thing I did on earth, I would assume that Christmas is a miserable time of year to be dreaded after reading some of the bizarre posts along the lines of ''30 years of spending christmas with my mil''.

I cannot fathom why a sane person would put themselves through it.

You only live once people,and duty is not fun. Duty will not flash before your eyes before you die and give you good memories. Doing something you want to do with the people you want to do it with, will make you feel good and give you good memories.

Someone earlier said ''you cannot go through life pleasing yourself'' - well most of us don't. We work/come home and cook/take care of the house/look after kids etc etc etc and the list goes on. So I ask - how is that pleasing yourself? If I was TRULY pleasing myself on a daily basis, I would get up around noon, and spend all day lunching and drinking coctails with friends.

But you see - we cannot just ''please ourselves'' - we have practicalities to deal with. FYI - 'Pleasing yourself' is different from being selfish.

Christmas time is a holiday - the one time of year where you SHOULD be able to do what you darn well please.When you work fulltime - having time off from work is a real treat.And you SHOULD spend it with the people you want to, doing what you want - and if you aren't then MORE FOOL YOU. The saying that ''life is not a dress rehersal'' springs to my mind here.

I agree with the op, you marry the man, not his family. It is extreamly common place for their to be some kind of problem, said or unsaid, between a mother in law and daughter in law. In fact, I would say it is more common for that, than there to be a peachy relationship there.

Yea! A person after my own heart! I would LOVE to please myself by walking out of my job, going home, drinking champagne, eating cheeseburgers and other naughty things, get up late, never do housework, never bother going back to work, ooooh... bliss.. but alas... we all have responsibilities. Some more than others.

I hate working, but I have to, in order to survive. Therefore, after i've worked my 40 odd hours per week, my week-ends are spent, mostly doing nothing at all.. because I value and cherish them.

Thank you for your lovely, heart warming post.