Is this how life is meant to be?

nuttybabe

daisy85 wrote: »

I have had quite a lot going on in the past few days, my ex found out about an injunction i was going to take out against him. He got this information from his best mates mam. His best mate also happens to be a Police Officer Now that has started me worrying that this Police Officer has been checking up on me as well.

a long long long time ago i knew an ex police officer. he had been suspended because he kept looking up info about his ex wife. apparently they need to give their details when searching on someone. so if he had, he will be in alot of trouble.

i hope it all goes well for you. you have done the right thing and i hope you, your 2 boys and your little dog are happy. x

j.e.j.

Good luck with things, Daisy.
I know I've posted this before somewhere, but if you wanted to delete your FB account (and maybe start another one from fresh) this linkie contains info on how to do it:
http://www.businessinsider.com/10-reasons-to-delete-your-facebook-account-2010-5
You need to scroll down to point 3 and click on where it says 'here'.
They say the account will be deleted within 14 days as long as you don't log into it.
HTH

3v3

daisy85 wrote: »

....
I have had quite a lot going on in the past few days, my ex found out about an injunction i was going to take out against him. He got this information from his best mates mam. His best mate also happens to be a Police Officer Now that has started me worrying that this Police Officer has been checking up on me as well. ....

I can understand why you would be worrying; however, it is unlikely that his friend would *know* if you are taking out an injuction against him or not - that information would not be available to him - unless or until the injunction is firmly in place (ie, it has been served on your ex) and even then it wouldn't necessarily mean he had checked you out. Ok, I'm assuming that you are taking out a private injunction and this isn't because you have reported ex to the Police for something?

A more probable explanation would be that his friend has, in conversation, mentioned that you could take out an injuction against him (which doesn't make him a bad Police Officer, just a good friend to your ex - after all, if you had a friend who is a Police Officer you would be open to their opinions/advice, as you would with any good friend you trust).

While it is good to be alert to potential problems, be cautious of heeding posters advice regarding an official complaint against the friend (unless you have something more concrete to go on with regard suspecting him of checking you out). If you take their advice and report him, and it turns out that he hasn't been checking up on you (because if this is you taking the injunction out and it hasn't been served, he can't know anything!), your ex may well use that against you in your custody case in a negative way.

Lotus-eater

Can she ask the police whether this guy has been checking up on her without reporting him as an official complaint?

jakem_2

Hi daisy, just been checking to see how things are progressing with you, and wow am so impressed how you have done so much, my god girl you are an inspiration to others in your situation.

You in the future that has used the great advise given on here can now advise others as you have been through and coming out the other end.

Well done daisy :T

3v3

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Can she ask the police whether this guy has been checking up on her without reporting him as an official complaint?

Police check on people all the time, that's a part of their job. If she has a reason to suspect he has been checking up on her unlawfully, then the moment she draws attention to it, whether she wants it to be official or not, they would be duty bound to investigate.

But, Daisy states the her ex got this information from his friend's Mum; again, it's more probable that BF's Mum is speculating and not passing on any secretly garnered information from her son.

jonty1970

Another tip....
When you feel able, try a women's support group.
I go to a group named, The Lotus Group - According to eastern beliefs Lotus bloom symbolizes rebirth, to blossom as a person or new beginnings

It is a 12 week course run by my local Mind group.
It's so sad to hear other women have been through the same thing and we help and encourage each other to never go back.

You can open up to women who have been there and won't judge you.
It's sad to know so many people suffer, so you are not alone.

I hope there are similar groups for me too - a dear friend has just gone back to his abusive ex wife it will end in tears and he knows it.
It's not just women who suffer

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi Daisy, just popping in to see how you were getting on. I have no experience of the sort of things you have been through but you are an inspiration and your kids will be so proud of you when they are older.

Keep going, stay strong and take all the help you can get. xx

yoni_one

Hi Daisy, I hope you received my PM?

I have only had time to catch up on your most recent posts, but it sounds like things are moving forward well.

You talked about access and his former threats to make allegations with the aim of having your child removed. You should understand your rights and under these circumstances more importantly understand his rights regarding parental responsibility.

If you haven't done it already, one thing to discuss with your WA support worker is a Residence Order. At the moment if your ex jointly registered the birth then he has equal parental responsibility and equal right not to return the child to you following access and ultimately you could need to go through the courts to get this resolved (as would your ex if you refused any contact). If you think there is any chance of your ex using this right as a tool to abuse you further then this is something to seriously consider.

You can find more info about this on direct gov website http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954 and also on Rights of Women: http://www.row.org.uk/

PlayingHardball

What an amazing young woman you are Daisy! Well done to you! Did you realise just how strong you were? Reading through this thread (in full) I've gotten teary reading just how far you have come in a week (!!!!!) - I've also gotten teary reading what people have gone through themselves, and how kind and helpful everyone has been, with incredible advice and suggestions. It is so sad that you have gone through this, and others as well.

Whatever you do, stay strong. You are a wonderful Mum (and pet owner) I can only imagine what amazing changes in your lives are happening already/will happen because of your very brave decision to post on this forum and ask for help - the sky is the limit for you!! I have 2 DD's similar age to you, and all I can say is if I were your Mom, I would be soooooo proud of you!

This post confirms my confidence in our ability to care for one another and help each other, So many lovely people all around us. No need to surround ourselves with people who make us unhappy, is there?