Is this how life is meant to be?

Sambucus_Nigra

daisy85 wrote: »

I told him that he bored the hell out of me (thank you to the poster that suggested that - it worked a treat )

Men like that think they are the centre of the universe - and quite frankly they aren't. Glad it helped.

'Oh no, not you again. BORING. Gonna have to stop having a little me time and call the police. Ho humm.'

Lirin

Aside from all the advice given about dealing with the situation now, and I so sincerely hope it works out perfectly and you regain the person you were- consider talking to someone in the future.
After I left, I had a lovely period of feeling so elated and happy- I knew I'd done the right thing. A little after that though, self-doubt and wondering if I'd made the right decision crept in- thankfully I had some good friends around me at that time. Later, when I started to fully appreciate how free I was, the truth of what I'd put up with for so long started to hit, and I had a bad time then- nightmares over some of the things, etc. Again- I was fortunate to have friends around when I desperately needed them. Even so- it still took quite some time to fully get over it.
Just please, keep strong, and keep someone near that you can talk to. You've been so strong so far.

[Deleted User]

Well done Daisy, stay strong and safe x

orlao

Just read this all the way through.

Well done Daisy you are a strong woman.

I really don't want to rain on your parade but please just be aware that you are now in the most dangerous time. I'm sure WA has told you what to do to protect yourself, your sons and the dog - please, please take heed of that advice. Do NOT hesitate to call the police if he is making you feel nervous, in fact I would call the DV unit and explain the situation so that they know to come if you call or they can have a word with him if need be. Bullies like him tend to back down if you have support...

The other thing is if at all possible don't leave the dog home alone - she is vulnerable because he can use her to hurt you - and the chances of him getting into serious trouble by doing so is slim.

You can do this, all you have to do is outwit him (and by the sounds of things, that won't be difficult) and remember the best revenge is living well.

belfastgirl23

daisy85 wrote: »

Morning everyone


I will have to explain my circumstances to the tutor but I'm sure they won't mind.

Just to say it is worth explaining the full situation to your tutor if you can. Just in case he starts playing silly beggars and turning up there or in case he puts you under more pressure at a later stage, so that if you have to ask for any extra time or whatever it doesn't come out of the blue.

chocomonsta

daisy85 wrote: »

oh, good idea about the voice recording on the phone, I never thought of that. I will just have to work out how to use it, I was thinking this morning that I can take the password off it now cos nobody will be trying to have a look at it.


If you cannot work out how to record things but you have voicemail on your mobile phone, if you phone your own number it will go through to voicemail and record what is happening hope that makes sense
why not tell us the make and model of your phone and someone with the same phone can guide you through

I am very proud of you :beer: take care

from one of your many supporters xx

DizzyDizzy

Oh my goodness I've never read through a thread so fast in my life! I am in awe of you, go girl!

I just thought of something, when he came round and started ranting - was it yesterday?- would any of the neighbours have heard? I wondered if it was worth getting any statements or anything from them that might help you if you have to go to court to sort out custody? He may well say you are "nuts", but the neighbours may be able to bear witness that he is the loose canon instead.

Just a random idea that I had, I've got no direct experience of this. But I wish you well. I hope you and your children start to find some well deserved peace x

Nickitree30

Hi again, not meaning to freak you out when I mention this (especially as you are doing so well) but please check your smoke detectors. Just in case.

Hope you are still feeling positive, hope he hasn't shown his face today. If the initial elation has drooped or you can feel yourself wavering re-read this thread and picture everyone that is cheering you on. Be strong.

jonty1970

Hope you are ok? I have read through this thread and there is a better life for you out there.

I was exactly like you a few years ago.
I only went out with this man, in my mind, as a one off. I met him in a shop as well.

He wouldn't let go and was violent. He threw things about and was paranoid and frightened me and my children.

I wish to God I had got rid of him back then. But I was scared and I hate myself for letting him in our lives.

I finally got rid of him 4 years ago. I hate him for how he treated us.

I will never get over the guilt I feel, for living with this man. and Stupid me, I had 2 kids with him (second was after he forced himself on me)

I wasted so much of my life and it has affected my relationship with my kids. I was a rubbish mum.

But now, my life is so much better.

I met a wonderful man. He is the sweetest, most romantic man I have ever met.
He treats me like a queen and is there for me and my children.

You will meet a lovely man one day, because now you have the tools to spot someone dodgy.

You learn how to look after yourself and not take any rubbish from anyone.

If you have to, move away so he doesn't know where you are (if possible) and make a fresh start away from him. Not that you should have to, but men like that don't give up easily. Mind you, they do when they find another "victim" to control!

Good luck for the future.

kate1976

I wish you all the luck in the world, you have done the best thing ever for yourself and your children, I just hope he leaves you in peace now but if not then please do phone the police!

Also instead of lying awake or being awoken by the slightest noise maybe do what I have done and invest in something like this http://www.google.co.uk/products/catalog?hl=en&cp=7&gs_id=q&xhr=t&q=door+alarm&safe=off&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1366&bih=643&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=10751998953428847105&sa=X&ei=jZRXTu2wEcmq8QOqsLGkDA&sqi=2&ved=0CGoQ8wIwAA

I wish you all the best, stay safe and be happy