Did anyone Used to Get Smacked as a Child?

balletshoes

donnap83 wrote: »

Read something in another thread and made me wonder. I'm 28 now, but when i was younger if I was naughty my mum used to wallop me. Used to have a red raw !!!!! on several occasions.

No one ever seems to smack their kids now?! Is it now classed as child abuse or something?!

I don't have children yet, by the way!

Did anyone else used to get a whack for being naughty??

yes, I did, by both parents - all 4 of us kids got smacked for being naughty. I didn't think anything of it at the time, I wasn't treated any different from any other child I knew (friends, cousins etc).

When my DD was a toddler I did smack her on the hand if she was doing something dangerous (ie touching ornaments, cups etc) and I do remember smacking her on the bottom through her clothes when she was entering the terrible 3s and 4s. I haven't smacked her since she was about 4 though, because in my opinion, smacking just made things worse when she was having a rare tantrum beyond reason, and I honestly think if you need to smack your child to get them to tow the line you've lost control.

Looking back, I do think my mum especially was a bit too handy with the smacking when we were little.

Tropez

RacyRed wrote: »

The isolation of the naughty step could cause psychological damage. What about shouting at a child? Equally violating? A different type of violence? Or have we simply not yet reached the point where violent criminals are found to have these methods of childhood discipline in common.

There are no such things as perfect parents or children. Or perfect research for that matter.

Shouting is more commonly linked to confidence problems, social anxiety disorders and the like although some people who have been subjected to aggressive shouting by their parents, particularly in public places (which is considered humiliating) have been known to develop aggressive tendencies, feelings of loathing etc.

Nobody is saying parents or studies or anything else is perfect. If you disagree, then that is fine. I, however, do not happen to disagree with the consistent conclusions of studies into behaviour patterns.

Tigsteroonie

*Paging my Mum to the Smacking thread ... Mum, I know you're on MSE somewhere*

I think I got smacked as a child, but only rarely. It obviously didn't traumatise me because I can't really remember :rotfl:

leandygandy

I am 28 and I was smacked three times growing up, if memory serves me correctly.

I'd get 'Don't do that', followed by 'Don't do that, it's dangerous/rude/insert Mum's reason', followed by 'If you carry on doing that you're going to get a smack', followed by a smack.

ObviouslyI learnt fairly quickly that there was no messing with my Mum!

Never got smacked in public though, only at home? When we were e.g. in the supermarket and misbehaving, we'd get 'If you don't stop that I'm going to take you to the toilets'. I don't remember ever actually being taken to the toilets and I have no idea what would have happened if we had, but the fear of what might happen was evidently enough to make us behave :rotfl:

DianneB

I was a child in the 50's/60's and everyone got the odd smack round the back of the legs if they overstepped the mark, I accepted the punishment and it was forgotten quickly. Worse was getting smacked at school, I still remember the embarrassment at being struck across my hand with a ruler in the 2nd form (year 8) for not doing my science homework.

balletshoes

alyth wrote: »

I don't have children, but I do feel sometimes, and I see this at work as I work part time in a supermarket, that perhaps a gentle smack rather than reasoning with a small child would be more effective when they are having a tantrum or not agreeing to do something.

it doesn't work when a child is having a tantrum - because they are beyond all reason anyway,. My DD has gone into full pelt tantrum twice in public, in a supermarket, and both times I just left my shopping and bodily carried her out and home (the 2nd time she was 4 and was actually kicking and screaming the whole way).

balletshoes

blue_monkey wrote: »

A lot of people on here are talking about being beaten as a child - the odd smack once every few months is not beating a child. However, it just takes the one bruise to be accused of it - most parents won't risk it IMO. They certainly do not freely admit it to others. Some will, but the majority won't.

I haven't been in the position you find yourself in with your daughter blue_monkey, my DDs punishments (no playing out, computer, her TV programmes etc) are effective, so I don't know what I'd do in your shoes. But I will say, I was not afraid of being accused of beating my child at any time, and I'm not afraid of that now.

jayII

I got smacked and 'belted' as a child, frequently. I remember the hurt feelings and humiliation more than anything. I was already scared of my parents because of their loud shouting and tempers, and being hit didn't help.

I have never smacked my two, nor has OH, and they've generally been pretty well behaved. No major issues in school or anywhere else. We've always insisted on respect towards us and other adults, respecting rules and posessions, helping out when asked, doing chores, and general good behaviour. Discipline has (and still does) involved being grounded, being sent to their rooms, and having pocket money etc removed. Usually a 'look' or a firm 'no', along with consistent rules, were enough when they were younger.


DS is 18 and DD 16, and we've only had a handful of 'teenage' arguments. They've certainly never shouted or sworn at us. They respect curfews, help around the house, cook meals and are great company. We return the favour by being flexible when they ask to have friends stay, stay out late, or want help in other ways.

CRANKY40

I don't smack my 6 year old for being naughty. I have however smacked him for hurting people. The first time was when he smacked me in the face with a metal helicopter. I wear glasses and that could have been nasty. The second time was when he bit me. The third time was two years ago when he hit his best friend across the back with a plastic golf club. I did explain to him at the time that I did it so he knew how it felt to be hurt.

I don't think that I taught him that smacking is acceptable. I think I taught him that if you attack other people in certain ways it causes pain. He is well behaved and polite, and actually when we saw a child having a paddy in a shop today he turned to me and said "I don't behave like that mum because you taught me how to behave properly". Don't get me wrong, he's no angel, but he knows when he's pushing me too far, and he also knows I will carry out any threat like grounding him or stopping him from doing an activity if I say I will.

We've never had a naughty step though, because he can't sit still even when he's on his best behaviour. I just used to send him out of whatever room I was in until he calmed down and apologised for whatever he was doing. I was smacked when I was little, but only about 4 or 5 times, and not after the age of about 12. I'm not a criminal.

JBD

I was smacked by my Mum, which didn't really hurt. My Dad used to hit us with a slipper or a belt. I can also remember being punched or backhanded in the face by him at the age of 13 [the last time he hit me].