Did anyone Used to Get Smacked as a Child?

neneromanova

I still get smacked now and I'm 24 :rotfl: DD1 laughs so much when mum does this. And yes, DD1 does get a smack once in a while if she does something naughty. Funnily enough, School says she's THE most behaved child they have in there. *Runs for cover from the Child Police*

Any

I think each to their own and each child is different.

I used to hate all that bull**** my parents gave me (as I saw it then) and just roll my eyes and think my own... so the occasional slap did me probably good.

Mrs_Imp

I wonder how many children are going to have psychological issues with stairs when they are adults, having been placed on the 'naughty step' everytime they do something wrong. Stairs=wrong
Could lead to a boom in bungalows, time to start investing methinks.

pigpen

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

I wonder how many children are going to have psychological issues with stairs when they are adults, having been placed on the 'naughty step' everytime they do something wrong. Stairs=wrong
Could lead to a boom in bungalows, time to start investing methinks.

Mine must be very confused.. they are sat on the dining chairs where they also sit to eat dinner and dessert.

maybe I should slap them more to even it out lol.

nervousftb_3

I think it is a little simplistic to try and suggest any osrt of a link between smacking and a life of crime. I was smacked occasionally as a child, and am crime free!! My mum usually used smacking as a sign that I had gone too far - either by doing something dangerous, or very occasionally when I had really pushed her too far. There was always a warning beforehand, and she never actually hit me hard it enough for it to hurt, just to let me know I'd crossed a line.

And I think this is where the important distinction can be made - people link smacking with crime, saying that children who are smacked are more likely to become criminals, but don't discuss the other factors surrounding this. I got a light tap once in a blue moon - some kids get walloped day in day out along with screaming and shouting (I've often witnessed this kind of behaviour in supermarkets!!), and it is this kind of environment that leads to criminal behaviour. Smacking is not the cause, it is often a symptom of a variety of other family problems that damage a child.

A normal family, that don't use screaming and swearing as a regular form of discipline, are not going to turn their child into a psycho killer by using a smack every now and again.

But having said all that, I generally don't agree with it as a form of discipline in any sort of regular way, but as an occasional last resort I think it's ok, and I would not judge anyone for it (and I don't think any child should ever be hit hard enough to leave a mark).

Owain_Moneysaver

Tropez wrote: »

I was never smacked, my parents didn't believe in it. What they did believe in was revoking my freedoms when I was bad. Being quite handy with electrics, it wasn't a problem for my dad to remove the plug from my PC or my TV/VCR when I was naughty

Did you not get equally handy and learn to put the plug back on?

Tropez

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

Did you not get equally handy and learn to put the plug back on?

I didn't have the key to my father's toolbox until I was 17.

picnmix

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

I wonder how many children are going to have psychological issues with stairs when they are adults, having been placed on the 'naughty step' everytime they do something wrong. Stairs=wrong
Could lead to a boom in bungalows, time to start investing methinks.

This made me giggle as my DD's best friend won't sit on the bottom step of the stairs when I'm putting her shoes on if she comes to play, as to her it equals the naughty step (I can only imagine she spends a lot of time on it in her own house).:rotfl:

Tropez

nervousftb wrote: »

I think it is a little simplistic to try and suggest any osrt of a link between smacking and a life of crime. I was smacked occasionally as a child, and am crime free!!

But it is also simplistic to suggest that because nothing negative happened to one person, it won't happen to anyone else. Some people die after taking one ecstasy tablet, others take the tablets for many years and suffer no ill effects. Not everyone who uses cocaine becomes an addict etc.

And I think this is where the important distinction can be made - people link smacking with crime, saying that children who are smacked are more likely to become criminals, but don't discuss the other factors surrounding this.

But the studies do take the various factors into account, so much so that it is nigh on impossible to summarise the hundreds of pages of information from each study into something easily understandable for discussion on a website, or a newspaper article or any other secondary form of media. This is why people are dismissive of the consequences and apply various forms of false logic to it.

Smacking is not the cause, it is often a symptom of a variety of other family problems that damage a child.

Smacking is as much a cause as any of the other problems in a family. Simple brain pattern studies of fear in children based on the threat of violence have consistently shown brain activity three to five times the levels of those in an adult and it makes perfect sense that children would be more afraid of violence. It also makes sense that a child whose brain and behaviour patterns are not yet established could be negatively affected by such perceived threats.

There's plenty of statistical and anecdotal evidence, including evidence on this very forum, of adults who have been happy and outgoing falling victim to an assault or a mugging and suffering from post traumatic stress, becoming reclusive, snappy, violent etc. We seem to be a lot more understanding of this than we are when it comes to children, and why is that? Sure, most children may not be negatively affected by a smack "once in a blue moon" but why are people willing to even run that risk when plenty of non-violent and equally effective disciplinary measures already exist?

A normal family, that don't use screaming and swearing as a regular form of discipline, are not going to turn their child into a psycho killer by using a smack every now and again.

Perhaps, perhaps not, but this "normal family" could still do plenty of other damage emotionally to that child.

barbiedoll

There's an enormous difference between a parent smacking a child to warn them of danger and a parent who smacks their child because they have lost their temper.

Children are very demanding and child-rearing is a boring, lonely and frustrating job much of the time, no matter how much we love our kids. I've only smacked mine a couple of times, once was in temper and frustration and I felt so bad afterwards that I cried. He was just a toddler (wouldn't leave our ancient tv alone and I was worried that he would break it by turning it off and on constantly!) but let's face it, toddlers find it very hard to distinguish between right and wrong and they simply don't understand the concept of danger. Sometimes a smack is the only way to communicate but I must admit, I don't like it and even thinking about it now makes me feel quite ashamed. I did lose my temper and I don't think that it was the right thing to do, even at the time.

My husband was beaten on a regular basis by his awful parents, luckily he hasn't turned out to be a child-beater himself. I do remember my mum hitting me once, just after I had run out into the road in front of a huge lorry which missed me by inches. She hit me out of sheer panic and yelled at me for a good 5 minutes, seeing as I was around 8 years old and should have known better, I guess she was probably justified!
But her discipline was, like mine is now, more of the "mum face" and a very loud shout. Which nearly always works, especially in public!