Did anyone Used to Get Smacked as a Child?

blue_monkey_2

Parents do not smack their kids these days because they are worried about getting in trouble for it. This is the real reason, let's be honest.

As for stopping them going out, the law can have you for that as well when you have a teenager so you;ll get in trouble for that as well.

A few years ago my daughter was having a huge tantrum and was shouting and screaming at me because she was not getting her own way over something and she refused to leave the house for school - so I grabbed her arm, yanked her out the door and closed it, gave her the socks, shoes and coat on the doorstep and made her put them on there. Then took her t school.

At the school door I told her that because of her behaviour this morning I was going to be stopping her doing the activities for that week because her bahaviour was unacceptable.

Later that day I got a phone call from the school and was told her teacher wanted to speak to me that afternoon. I got there and she called me in to find out why I had told my daughter off and punished her.

Now tell me why parents do not do anything to their children? Because they are terrified of Social Service knocking or teachers calling them in or kids accusing them of doing something to them that they haven't. Kids walk all over us and can speak to us pretty much how they like and get what, stuck on a step for a few hours. Send them to their rooms they have a toy to play with, send them outside they play in the dirt. Stick them on the stairs, big deal - they do not learn anything from that IMO.

I was never rude at school because I did not want the cane. I never got the cane because I behaved. Just the threat of it was enough to make me behave myself!! The 'threat' no longer exists and this is why kids rule the parents, because the parents are terrified of getting into trouble for something they say or do. It's ridiculous.

KiKi

I'm 33, I was smacked. Only when I was REALLY naughty (very, very rarely), and I was NEVER smacked in temper.

I didn't fear my parents, ever. I did think twice before repeating naughty behaviour, though.

If smacking is done in a loving, disciplining environment where it is a last resort I don't have a problem with it. I'd consider it if I had children, but that's not likely!

KiKi

GobbledyGook

Parents do smack their children still though. I know a large number of people who have resorted to smacking for something, myself included.

People are not sent to prison for smacking their children - people are sent to prison for beating their children. There is a difference.

Schools and teachers may take more of an interest in parents dealings with children, but the vast majority are not out to get you. They are simply keeping themselves right with the man mountain of paperwork they have to contend with now.

School staff cannot win. If I spot bruises on a child while I'm working and I don't note them and something happens to that child then I get accused of being irresponsible, uncaring and failing in my duties. If I do note them or the school make any attempts to ask how they came about we're poking our noses in, undermining the parent and accusing them of being abusive. Really it's a no win situation.

I think it's a good thing that if my children went to school with the bruises from 'smacking' that I had before I was removed from my mother that the school would question it, not just accept it like my school did. The changes were not made to make it impossible to discipline children, but to stop parents like my mother getting away with beating with belts, slippers, canes and books by saying "Oh she misbehaved and got a smack". Hitting a child hard enough to leave a lasting mark is not the same as a chastising smack.

I've smacked my younger daughter when nothing else worked when she had a fascintation with running into the road. I didn't enjoy it, it wasn't done in anger and I hope I don't have to do it again because I much prefer dealing with naughty behaviour without hitting, but it was a last resort.

Chastising your child by smacking is not illegal. Beating them with a belt is and quite rightly so.

plumpmouse

blue_monkey wrote: »

Parents do not smack their kids these days because they are worried about getting in trouble for it. This is the real reason, let's be honest.

I don't smack my children because I have never needed too. That's my reason. There are better ways to discipline children imo.

I can't believe anyone thinks that the best way to discipline a child is by giving them a smack! Particularly if it is punishment for them hitting or kicking etc.

My son is very well behaved, we did use to use a naughty cushion when he was younger (lived in a bungalow). Now he is older he is sent to his room to cool down and think and then things are discussed. This is a rare event though. He is very well behaved, polite and generally a nice child.

Absolutely

I was smacked by my mother, and my father was particularly fond of using his belt (buckle end). Ouch!

I have smacked my children rarely. To give them a short, sharp shock, when they have really over-stepped the mark.

But, what I have found more effective as they have got older is time-out and taking away what they want for a short period of time. i.e. "You've been naughty so you can't have your DS for 30 minutes".

Plans_all_plans

I'm 26 and was regularly smacked as a child. In fact, it was the only form of discipline used in the household and it continued until I was at least 16. My parents didn't really know how else to discipline us though and I always felt loved and appreciated, so I don't feel harmed by it or resentful towards my parents.

I am not against smacking and have smacked my daughter in the past, as I find it worked well when she was a toddler as there's no reasoning with them at that age. I have never smacked out of anger though.

I do believe other discipline methods should be used as the child gets older though. Our daughter is now 4 and I very rarely smack her nowdays, as withdrawal of things/saying she can't do x, y and z works as well.

My husband was smacked as a child too (he's 27) but he does not smack our daughter.

mich13x

I was smacked as a child and i always knew it wasnt the form of dicipline i would be using with my own children.

Having said that they are only 1 and 2 so most definately cant do anything to warrant a smack anyway. For a two year old i think my son is very well behaved and often just a stern 'No' is enough to stop him doing or touching something he shouldnt be.

As they get older i will use the naughty step method and then gradually move on to confiscating things but never a smack.

If ever i feel myself getting slightly worked up i just leave the room for a few minutes to calm down.

RacyRed

Tropez wrote: »

There's plenty of statistical and anecdotal evidence, including evidence on this very forum, of adults who have been happy and outgoing falling victim to an assault or a mugging and suffering from post traumatic stress, becoming reclusive, snappy, violent etc. We seem to be a lot more understanding of this than we are when it comes to children, and why is that? Sure, most children may not be negatively affected by a smack "once in a blue moon" but why are people willing to even run that risk when plenty of non-violent and equally effective disciplinary measures already exist?

Whoa Tropez! We are talking about the effect of a gentle, reprimanding smack from a loving parent, not beating the living daylights out of kids! How on earth can you relate smacking a child to an adult being mugged!

I have been subjected to both. When smacked as a child I knew why (usually because I was putting myself and/or one of my siblings in serious danger, running into the road for instance). I was told why I had been smacked, how to avoid being smacked in future and my parents ensured that I knew I had been smacked because they loved and cared about me. The lesson was learnt and the smacking usually forgotten quite quickly. Looking back, I can remember WHY I was smacked more than the smackings themselves. I have no memory of pain, just shock that I had been smacked.

When I was mugged it was a completely different experience. It was humiliating, demeaning, very violent and I had done nothing to deserve it. If I had not been very careful my self confidence would have been shattered afterwards. The person who mugged me made no attemtpt to explain why they had done it or cuddle me better afterwards.

So far you have mentioned muggings, serial killers and violent crime in a discussion about methods of disciplining children. I begin to think that criminology has taken leave of its senses if this is an example of research findings.

Please, we are not talking about extreme beatings here. Let's remember that and keep some perspective.

Tropez

RacyRed wrote: »

Whoa Tropez! We are talking about the effect of a gentle, reprimanding smack from a loving parent, not beating the living daylights out of kids! How on earth can you relate smacking a child to an adult being mugged!

I have been subjected to both. When smacked as a child I knew why (usually because I was putting myself and/or one of my siblings in serious danger, running into the road for instance). I was told why I had been smacked, how to avoid being smacked in future and my parents ensured that I knew I had been smacked because they loved and cared about me. The lesson was learnt and the smacking usually forgotten quite quickly. Looking back, I can remember WHY I was smacked more than the smackings themselves. I have no memory of pain, just shock that I had been smacked.

When I was mugged it was a completely different experience. It was humiliating, demeaning, very violent and I had done nothing to deserve it. If I had not been very careful my self confidence would have been shattered afterwards. The person who mugged me made no attemtpt to explain why they had done it or cuddle me better afterwards.

So far you have mentioned muggings, serial killers and violent crime in a discussion about methods of disciplining children. I begin to think that criminology has taken leave of its senses if this is an example of research findings.

Please, we are not talking about extreme beatings here. Let's remember that and keep some perspective.

No, we're talking about using an act of violence against a child. A smack, no matter how gentle, no matter how well intentioned, is still an act of violence and depending on the disposition of the child it could be perceived in any number of ways and affect a child in a number of ways.

alyth

I was smacked as a child, I'm 40 and my mother was fairly young when she had me, so I'm sure it was more of a reaction to my mis-behaving and her frustration, rather than a mindless beating.

i do remember one occasion though - remember wooden scholl sandals? I must have done something, no idea what, and my mother threw hers at me - unfortunately, her words not mine, she didn't mean to throw quite as hard and I think I was clobbered on the head with a very heavy sandal! I think she still feels guilty about that now!

I don't have children, but I do feel sometimes, and I see this at work as I work part time in a supermarket, that perhaps a gentle smack rather than reasoning with a small child would be more effective when they are having a tantrum or not agreeing to do something.