Did anyone Used to Get Smacked as a Child?

pigpen

I used to get hit with whatever was to hand.. but my dad preferred his belt..

I have also smacked mine. They are still alive.

Tropez

tiamai_d wrote: »

But also the vast majority of people who were subjected to physical violence as a child do not go out and commit crimes. Also it could be argued that since most people were smacked in those days then there is no real link between them.

I'm neither for nor against smacking, it works for some and not for others.

There is a lack of statistical evidence to support your hypothesis so although it sounds logical it may not be correct. However, suggesting that there is no correlation between being smacked and crime on the basis that other people were smacked and didn't commit crime is a logical fallacy - one could argue there is no correlation between alcohol and liver disease on the basis that millions of people drink alcohol and compartively few contract liver disease, but we know this to be false.

The reason people are so willing to dismiss psychological arguments are because the effects are not obvious and cannot be discerned by the eye or under a microscope, which is why so much research is done. There are significant, relevant factors in many cases of violent criminals, and physical discipline as a child is by far and away the most common. It is also commonly linked to depression, paranoia and anxiety issues too.

cord123

I grew up with a dad that thought nothing of beating up my mum and my brothers and sisters and I ... if anything it has made me hate violence!
My LO, 2 on sunday:( has got a couple of taps on the hand if he has gone to touch something hot but i dont believe in smacking as a punishment..... the amount of kids I see that get smacked by a parent for hitting their bro/sister is amazing... how can you stop that by doing that exact same thing!?

I am a fan of the naughty step... I know many people will prob roll their eyes but for my LO being taken out of the situation and being on his own is his worst nightmare!

I have also perfected the 'mum look' and the 1...2.... only once have i got to 3 and he was promptly put in the pushchair!

Smacking for danger, I agree with. I think the reason a lot of kids are the way they are is because of a general lack of rules and respect....the lack of discpline is the problem not what the discipline is.... I had a bedtime which went up 15 minutes as I got older... kids nowadays tend to go to bed when they feel like it and then watch the tv they have in their room to all hours and then parents wonder why they are naughty and tired the next day!

I bring my son up how i was brought up, with a routine and i think he is very well behaved and well mannered..... :A but i would say that!

Mrs_Arcanum

Mum used to smack me with a flat green hairbrush (left bruises on my bum). Usually for being stubborn, never did learn or stop being stubborn.

cord123

I think at the end of the day - you smack a child because you have lost control and want to regain it quickly.... a child that has been winging all day, wont eat their dinner then deliberatly spill stheir drink on the floor.... what is easier, smack them and release all the days stress or put them on and off the naughty step 3 times.... I know what is easier but does it teach them anything?

My husband is very of the school someone hits you you hit them back, whereas I am someone hits you, you tell a teacher etc.... I dont want to raise a 'pansy' but in the same breath, someone hit s you, uyou hit them, someone pulls a knife! Ok ok, i'm sure this isnt common in a primary school but a 17 yo outside a club it wouldnt be unheard of..... I'm a lover not a fighter! But thats a whole other conversation!

dontone

Oh yeah, me and my brother used to get a smack if we were naughty, and we've turned out ok too. We knew what we got a wallop for too, because we got a warning to stop first. Mam whacked us with a slipper, Dad just needed his hand (The hand stung more)
I think that some parents denial harms kids more that the ocassional smacked bum. What I mean is these lazy parents who let their kids do what they like, then refuse to chastise them and lay the blame on another child. I know of one mother who can see her son do wrong and then say "it's not him, he always gets the blame" This child at the age of 10 is now permanately excluded from the local school and is jail fodder when he's older, he's never had any guidance as to right and wrong.
I think smacking should be used as a last resort, or like someone has already mentioned, if a child doesn't understand danger.

Any

It's surprising how always when "is smacking a child wrong" is being discussed some people immediately take out abuse and judge it as the same...

ie "children who grew up abusive families are serial killers" etc...

These are NOT the same things.

In my eyes the answer is simple and logical... if you use it willy nilly or in anger, it will loose effect.

However if a child is just about to touch hot top it might be the shock that teaches them it is wrong before they understand the consequences of burn.

cord123

dontone wrote: »

Oh yeah, me and my brother used to get a smack if we were naughty, and we've turned out ok too. We knew what we got a wallop for too, because we got a warning to stop first. Mam whacked us with a slipper, Dad just needed his hand (The hand stung more)
I think that some parents denial harms kids more that the ocassional smacked bum. What I mean is these lazy parents who let their kids do what they like, then refuse to chastise them and lay the blame on another child. I know of one mother who can see her son do wrong and then say "it's not him, he always gets the blame" This child at the age of 10 is now permanately excluded from the local school and is jail fodder when he's older, he's never had any guidance as to right and wrong.
I think smacking should be used as a last resort, or like someone has already mentioned, if a child doesn't understand danger.

Completely agree about people needing to realise when their child has done wrong... I will say to people if my son has done wrong for them to tell him off if they feel they need to. I want him to respect everyone not just me and his dad. My friend got the hump because I told her daugheter off, 3 years, for taking his sandwhich off his plate.. lit just *** thats not very nice, put it back please or I will move you apart to eat your lunch. the mum just said its part of growing up - i call it bad manners but hey! haha!

I think the best punishments are where they miss out... sitting out on the stairs for 5 minutes during a party. We even took a top back that we bought our step daughter. When we got it for her it was on the understanding that she did her homework, read her book and did what was asked of her without winging... (the top was for my sons party this weekend) Yesterday she threw a spectatuclar strop, refused to do her homework. was warned once and still refeused. So my husband took the top back today and even made her take it to the till and ask for a refund 0 talk about salt in the wounds! He said that she said sorry after but he said too late, now you still have to do your homework and now you have no new top....
its all the empty threats i cant stand - kids arent stupid, if you never follow through they know!

milliebear00001

I was smacked a lot by my mum - it had little effect on me but to make me angry.

I was smacked VERY occasionally by my dad and I remember every occasion. This had a massive impact on me and I rarely misbehaved for him.

I have smacked my own two, rarely, and I try very hard to find other ways of disciplining them as I don't agree with the hypocrisy of smacking children then telling them it's wrong to hit others, nor do I want to actually hit my own kids! I am not always successful though.

I don't agree that children aren't smacked today. I see kids getting smacked all the time. There are A LOT of 'slap happy' parents who hit their kids in anger, and for want of understanding that there are alternatives (just like many parents always have in fact). I simply don't believe many parents truly refrain from hitting their kids because they might be prosecuted for it - how many times has that really happened!?

Tropez

Any wrote: »

It's surprising how always when "is smacking a child wrong" is being discussed some people immediately take out abuse and judge it as the same...

ie "children who grew up abusive families are serial killers" etc...

These are NOT the same things.

In my eyes the answer is simple and logical... if you use it willy nilly or in anger, it will loose effect.

However if a child is just about to touch hot top it might be the shock that teaches them it is wrong before they understand the consequences of burn.

It isn't a case of suggesting that smacking a child and ongoing child abuse is one and the same but more that parents who choose to use smacking to instil discipline to a level that is classed as "frequent" can do psychological damage to their child of which the parents have no comprehension.

Children who are smacked on a regular basis (once a week, or more) for alleged misbehaviour have been shown to be detrimentally affected, whether it be through uneasy social interactions, developments of crippling personality disorders, depression, or a tendency to believe that violence is an acceptable solution to many of life's problems and yes, some of these people do grow up to be serial killer's because of their experiences, the perceptions they develop about violence and a dehumanising process whereby the people who are supposed to love them are carrying out acts of physical harm. Do all of them? No, of course not but they do exist in the extreme examples.