Did anyone Used to Get Smacked as a Child?

Person_one

blue_monkey wrote: »

To the poster who says she is an aunt and would not spack the children, I would hope so too. They are not your children. And if your sister did, I doubt she would ever mention it to you anyway because that is what society does to us now, to do it and not tell anyone. I am sure those children are prefect when with you for a few hours a week - 24/7 for 6 weeks of the summer holiday - maybe you'd like to have them for that time and give it a go.

That poster was me. I'm very sad for your children. Many many parents make it through the six weeks holidays without resorting to violence, plenty of them even enjoy having their kids around a bit more without the pressures of homework and being a taxi service.

If I'm horrified by the thought of someone laying a finger on my niece and nephew, when they are 'only' my niece and nephew, surely their parents whose feelings for them are deeper and stronger, should be even more horrified?

I know a parent who thinks like you, he knows all right minded people would be appalled to see him hit his son, especially as he's created a very middle class, very proper, very correct image for himself. So he pinches them, secretly, and hard. It disgusts me.

It used to be perfectly legal and socially acceptable for men to physically correct their wives, when women were seen as lesser humans not worthy of fair treatment and safety from violence. I hope it won't be too long before humans under 18 are granted the same rights.

Person_one

ska_lover wrote: »

Plenty of times!

We are reaping the benefits of this softly softly parenting and teaching approach now - just look at the recent riots, mostly teenagers from what i saw

You really think the kind of teenagers involved in the riots were ones with Supernanny watching liberal softie parents?

No, in fact many were probably completely accustomed and desensitised to violence, which is why it came so easily.

Person_one

pixiedust88 wrote: »

I was smacked if naughty. I didn't like being smacked, so I was seldom naughty. It works! Not a full on beating of course, but a smack and the punishment of taking away privileges makes a difference to children’s behaviour. Kids today are so rude to their parents and teachers, its shocking.

We are going to see a generation of the most spoilt ridiculous adults the world has ever seen, it will be the end. :rotfl:

To the bolded, that's the way you train a dog!

Human children are capable of learning right from wrong, of understanding that there are some things we don't do because they are dangerous, cause harm or annoyance to others, or are mean and unkind.

If the only reason a child behaves is to avoid punishment, I'd say that was a major parenting fail. I wasn't hit as a child, I wasn't naughty very often either, because I wanted to be a good person!

MessyMare

I was smacked as a child. Rarely, and normally when I'd done something severely wrong. I only remember one specific time, and I think that was the last time. Mum never needed to do it after that one. Not because I wanted to avoid the smack, but because I'd learned that I needed to buck my ideas up- I wanted to make her happy, not annoyed and angry. My dad never laid a finger on me, but I was and to an extent still am absolutely petrified of him, whereas my mum is my best friend.

ska_lover

Person_one wrote: »

You really think the kind of teenagers involved in the riots were ones with Supernanny watching liberal softie parents?


No, in fact many were probably completely accustomed and desensitised to violence, which is why it came so easily.

No, I didn't say that. No, I don't think that at all. I do think the ones involved in riots are the offspring of Jeremy Kyle watching, sp*liff smoking, ill-educated, jobless bums who really couldn't give a crap where their kids are, nevermind bother discliplining them in anyway, by smacking or reasoning or anything. I think the parents are totally 100% to blame. I dont think the parents are 'softie' parents. I think they are the 'dont give a crap' parents.

They probably don't even know what the word 'liberal' even means

Some of them getting arrested in our town were as young as ten years old. Where were their parents?

When my lad was ten years old, he wasn't allowed off the street without me knowing about it. I wonder if these parents knew where their kids were, or just did not care?

The riots were not totally about violence to other people. There were more crimes recorded of theft and criminal damage.

Mostly it was just teenagers after the latest pair of trainers for free. Cos that is how their parents brought them up, on the benefits state, everything for free..

Just to add, I was smacked as a child when I was out of control and no amount of reasoning would work with me. It has never made me turn into a lunatic who wants to go around hurting other people. Kids have the power these days, not the parents.

ska_lover

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It's too simplistic to say that if the children and youths involved had been hit by parents they wouldn't have rioted, in fact the opposite is more likely.


Those involved may not have been subject to proper discipline and moral guidance though but that is completely different and shouldn't need to involve violence

Who said that then? You are misquoting me. What I actually said was ''We are reaping the benefits of the softly softly parenting approach''. However, if they thought they might be in for a good thrashing if they were escorted home by the coppers, it might put them off of following a life of crime.

I agree it shouldn't need to involve violence, and smacking was never the first option of punishment in our house as kids, it was if nothing else worked.

This has never made me want to strike out in anger at anyone, and myself nor my siblings have never been involved in any violent acts/crimes or joined a riot.

These little hood rats, I doubt it is their first meandor into the life of crime. Their parents had probaby seen this coming with the friends they hang out with, the hours they keep, their general attitude, etc - but cant be a*rsed to do something.

tiamai_d

Person_one wrote: »

That poster was me. I'm very sad for your children. Many many parents make it through the six weeks holidays without resorting to violence, plenty of them even enjoy having their kids around a bit more without the pressures of homework and being a taxi service.

If I'm horrified by the thought of someone laying a finger on my niece and nephew, when they are 'only' my niece and nephew, surely their parents whose feelings for them are deeper and stronger, should be even more horrified?

I know a parent who thinks like you, he knows all right minded people would be appalled to see him hit his son, especially as he's created a very middle class, very proper, very correct image for himself. So he pinches them, secretly, and hard. It disgusts me.

It used to be perfectly legal and socially acceptable for men to physically correct their wives, when women were seen as lesser humans not worthy of fair treatment and safety from violence. I hope it won't be too long before humans under 18 are granted the same rights.

If you ever have children the world is going to hit you like a brick. Do you really think its that simple? One day you too will laugh at the naivety of some people who do not have children.

CL

I think the main problem some bad parents can't distinguish between smacking and beating. Personally I think that a little smack to correct a very young child doing something dangerous is fine. However, I remember when I was a teenager I knew a boy who had a father who beat him. It obviously didn't work as this boy took his dad's car keys without permission and then became too afraid to return the car in case his dad found out, so he pretended the car had been stolen and burnt it out to lend more weight to the story. He tried to return the keys to where he had found them, so he wouldn't be caught on and his dad caught him returning them. He then beat the C R A P out of him. How did he think that was working as a parenting tool?

Zoetoes

I used to run from my dad and when he caught me I would sit down quick and try and cover my bum and thighs so he couldn't smack me, he used to leave a big hand print!

lynzpower

I was smacked/ hit as a child and it did have a profound effect on me. I will never hit a child I have or am in the care of. ( however I will grab their arm if they try to put their hand in a fire or something)

But not hitting.

My parents always hit me in anger.
When I see children being hit in public it is always in anger.

I honestly feel that most parents do hit in anger, they have been wound up to the point of losing control. I have never seen anyone hit a child calmly.

If a parent can hit a child calmly and without anger then that is also worrying as if they are calm then they could think of something else.

I have no respect for my parents choice of "discipline" and would never take advice from them about disciplining my own children ( if I had them). I know parenting is hard going but there is a vicious circle where you dont like your parents because you are scared of them and when they hit you you like them less. Walking around in fear of being hit removes the easy, comfortable interaction that children can have with parents, I used to envy my friends for being able to trust their parents to take care of them. One day Id like to be foster carers, and there is no way that hitting a child is acceptable, there are other ways. I know this as so many of my friends can never remember being hit by thier parents and they are responsible people who have never been in trouble with the law/skipping school etc.

When I was assaulted as a teenager there was no way I would tell me parents (still havent) as I would be worried about the violent ramifications either a) towards me b) towards the child perpetrator.

I have ( when I used to be in childrens social work) investigated what many parents said was discipline when it was abuse.Although this was usually broken bone territory. If you are content to hit your child and never leave a mark then go for it But you cannnot guarantee they will respect you and you may not get the relationship from your children that you really wanted.