Trying for a Baby Part 7

Kaemi

It's their first baby though. I could understand a little if they'd had 3, all within the first month of trying, but .... grrr! Sorry, it's just getting me riled that no one knows until they try that its not exact science, and then perfectly healthy women think there is something wrong with them when they've been trying 4 months and haven't got that BFP.

Lily_The_Legend

Kaemi wrote: »

It's their first baby though. I could understand a little if they'd had 3, all within the first month of trying, but .... grrr! Sorry, it's just getting me riled that no one knows until they try that its not exact science, and then perfectly healthy women think there is something wrong with them when they've been trying 4 months and haven't got that BFP.

They'll find out soon enough Kaemi. I am still a bit ignorant about the whole thing, and didn't realise how long on average it takes most people. Then again, I didn't go telling the world about it.

Lily_The_Legend

QQuaver wrote: »

Lily, hope your work gets less hectic:o

Thanks QQ. It's only going to get more hectic before Christmas, but I'm just going to try to worry about it less and just do what I can.

colli

Kaemi wrote: »

It's their first baby though. I could understand a little if they'd had 3, all within the first month of trying, but .... grrr! Sorry, it's just getting me riled that no one knows until they try that its not exact science, and then perfectly healthy women think there is something wrong with them when they've been trying 4 months and haven't got that BFP.

don't worry about it, some people are lucky and good for them. My friend said last Christmas that she's be on maternity leave by this Christmas, before she'd even started trying. Baby due in November so she will be

Remember though fertility is something you are given not something you can achieve. I know that what OH and I have been through TTC has taught us a lot and we'll be better parents as a result and thats kind of what we're all aiming for, not just to become parents but to be GREAT parents. (Not saying that you need to struggle to be a good parent but for us as individuals we've learnt a lot about ourselves and our relationship).

I'm still well envious of those who find it easy to get pregnant though :rotfl:xxxx

colli

Lily_The_Legend wrote: »

Thanks QQ. It's only going to get more hectic before Christmas, but I'm just going to try to worry about it less and just do what I can.

that was my mantra for a loooonnnnnggg time. Work hard, do your best and that will have to be good enough. Oh, and don't take it home with you, however much you get paid it's not enough!

QQuaver

Kaemi wrote: »

It's their first baby though. I could understand a little if they'd had 3, all within the first month of trying, but .... grrr! Sorry, it's just getting me riled that no one knows until they try that its not exact science, and then perfectly healthy women think there is something wrong with them when they've been trying 4 months and haven't got that BFP.

(((hugs))):o

Lily_The_Legend wrote: »

I'm just going to try to worry about it less and just do what I can.

Good luck:)

colli wrote: »

that was my mantra for a loooonnnnnggg time. Work hard, do your best and that will have to be good enough. Oh, and don't take it home with you, however much you get paid it's not enough!

Good mantra:cool:

fannyanna

Nicki wrote: »

There are so many hidden expenses to working, leaving aside childcare, that only become obvious after a stint away!

Hi Nicki,

I've found your posts quite interesting - seeing as we're trying for number one we don't have any experience yet.

I'll need to go back to work full time after maternity (which I hope to have the whole year off) and I've of course factored into our budget child care costs - which are double our mortgage :eek:

What other type of expenses would I need to consider?

Sorry if I've out you on the spot a bit

Kaemi

I wondered that too fannyanna, all I'd really thought of was childcare and travel to work/parking costs

Lily_The_Legend

colli wrote: »

that was my mantra for a loooonnnnnggg time. Work hard, do your best and that will have to be good enough. Oh, and don't take it home with you, however much you get paid it's not enough!

Good mantra! :T

Nicki

Not at all! If you add up everything you spend just because you are working, it can soon mount up. Things like

Travel to and from work
A couple of pairs of tights a week
Coffee with colleagues
A cook chill meal in the evening because you can't be bothered to cook. Or worse a takeaway!
Collections for colleagues birthdays, leaving dos, the office party
Packed lunches every day or a sandwich in the canteen
That newspaper you always buy to read on the train
Someone to clean your house/shirt service for your OH etc because you don't have time

Obviously not everyone will do all of these things, some will have other things they spend out on, and none of them are compulsory. But it is true to say that you do tend to spend more when you are at work, than when you are at home with a child, and have more free time at your disposal.

ETA when I was working for example, I used to leave the house early and grab a coffee and croissant on the way to work. I'd have lunch from a sandwich bar, and maybe a coffee mid afternoon, and buy a paper to read on the way home. Not counting childcare or transport I was easily burning around £100 per week on this without even noticing it. I also needed smart clothes which needed dry-cleaning and tights, which was maybe another £100 a month. I had a cleaner (£160 per month) and we ate more ready meals than we now do, which was maybe £100 extra on the groceries per month. So leaving aside travel and childcare, just by working I was spending an extra £800 a month roughly without even seeing where it went.