Why do I even bother with internet dating.

jakem_2

Yvonne, unfortunately there are some players out there, and like someone else said seriel daters, and not forgetting the ones who just want a bit of fun.

I have been on a site for many months and dont even get as far as coffee as they spoil it for themselves.

for example I wont go into msn or do cams, or even exchange phone numbers till I have had a many chats through the site, or messages through the site, and it all goes really well, then I will get the odd innuendo, or bit of smut which is like a bucket of cold water over me, I question it and off they go never to be heard from again.

The ones I have found to be the worst are the ones who say really nice things on thier profiles, ie, wants to meet a genuine woman, not into games etc etc, the ones who actually say they just want dating are the honest ones.

I find it so amusing now, I take everything they say with a pinch of salt, but the majority I feel are players.

edit .... just remembered... had a coffee with a really nice guy I was chatting to thru the site, and emails he turned up, looked like his pic, but his voice was one octave down from Ashley Peacock in Corrie, then out it came.. no not that lol but what he really wanted was sex, but not just sex, but dogging :eek: I made a hasty retreat, looking back I do find it funny, but it wouldnt put me off meeting someone else, its just trying to seperate the wheat from the chaff thats the problem

Sambucus_Nigra

yvonne13 wrote: »

Because for all I know it could have been a fake picture, he didn't even tell me his name. I only have one life and if I would have met a man in the supermarket at least I know what he looks like. I cannot judge someone of one photo. I am just being careful like a lot of people have said already.

So why are you pining over him then?

frames1_uk

personally, I just find internet dating depressing, people are never anything like how they appear online, so all that time spent chatting and building up feelings for eachother are just in vain, as it's only on meeting that you know instantly whether you could imagine yourself 'with' that person. I don't know what the answer is to meeting someone, just luck I guess, but I do know that when you're looking, it isn't going to happen.

3v3

yvonne13 wrote: »

Because for all I know it could have been a fake picture, he didn't even tell me his name. I only have one life and if I would have met a man in the supermarket at least I know what he looks like. I cannot judge someone of one photo. I am just being careful like a lot of people have said already.

Yet, your earlier posts contradict that: you claimed looking at his photo made you feel sad and you judged (from his photo with guitar in background + him picking up friend's g/f) that he wasn't telling the truth but faking the "friend's" part! (Yet, he really could have been telling the truth - you have no facts to go by).

You are giving out mixed signals on here - most likely, from what you have posted, you are also giving out mixed signals on the dating website - but, more importantly (!) to *yourself*!!!

If you were a friend of mine IRL, I would be saying to you, that you are not in the right frame of mind, or emotional stability, to be rolling the dice on an internet dating site (then posting on an internet forum to garner opinion on whether you should feel so sad after a couple of hours internet chat/3 days of time passing). If you were my friend IRL, I would be suggesting you need to develop your own self-esteem/self confidence (far more attractive than an insecure/needy/desperate/need to know others opinion so I can form my own kind of personality kind of person ).

The fact you have switched your tone to suit the replies on here suggests that you are not confident in your self image, your judgement or your self worth. (Or, you could be a wind up?) You can invest your money with a guaranteed return on boosting your confidence - you won't find that on an internet dating site; certainly not within a few days! The couples it *does* work for tend to be the kind of people who have a level of confidence and emotional stability to understand and take the knocks, plus a certain experience of humanity to be able to seperate the chaff from the corn.



In your own words: you only have one life - go live it!! Virtual dating isn't, predominantly, real life! Go out and experience real life, with real challenges, real emotions and real people ... the "love life" angle will fall into place quite naturally than an artificially conjured up one.

yvonne13_2

jakem wrote: »

Yvonne, unfortunately there are some players out there, and like someone else said seriel daters, and not forgetting the ones who just want a bit of fun.

I have been on a site for many months and dont even get as far as coffee as they spoil it for themselves.

for example I wont go into msn or do cams, or even exchange phone numbers till I have had a many chats through the site, or messages through the site, and it all goes really well, then I will get the odd innuendo, or bit of smut which is like a bucket of cold water over me, I question it and off they go never to be heard from again.

The ones I have found to be the worst are the ones who say really nice things on thier profiles, ie, wants to meet a genuine woman, not into games etc etc, the ones who actually say they just want dating are the honest ones.

I find it so amusing now, I take everything they say with a pinch of salt, but the majority I feel are players.

edit .... just remembered... had a coffee with a really nice guy I was chatting to thru the site, and emails he turned up, looked like his pic, but his voice was one octave down from Ashley Peacock in Corrie, then out it came.. no not that lol but what he really wanted was sex, but not just sex, but dogging :eek: I made a hasty retreat, looking back I do find it funny, but it wouldnt put me off meeting someone else, its just trying to seperate the wheat from the chaff thats the problem

Oh crumbs :rotfl::rotfl:

yvonne13_2

3V3,

I have had time to sit down and think about things from another angle. I am only human and there is nothing wrong in admitting to myself that I may have made a mistake.

ellay864

No there isn't at all...and it's because you're human and so are the guys on internet sites (well mostly:rotfl:) that things don't always work. Tbh it bugs me when people make judgements about people who use internet dating/chat sites etc. At the end of the day they're still the same people you could meet in a bar, shop, office, bus stop etc. If you meet and don't click...well that happens with people from anywhere. My best friend was raped by a guy she met in a conventional way, I also met him and he seemed lovely, they spent ages chatting the night we met at a club, had 2 or 3 more dates that went well, then he turned on her. I've met loads of guys through the internet, had some mostly fun, nice dates with the odd not-so-good one but that's life. 7 and a half years ago I met OH through a chat room and we get married in 2 months time - 10 of our guests will be friends from the same chat room we used, 8 of them will be couples that got together through the chat room. Of course there's horror stories but they get over-exagerrated because of the internet aspect. There's plenty of real life horrors too...my first husband was from a real-life meeting...'nuff said!

3v3

yvonne13 wrote: »

3V3,
I have had time to sit down and think about things from another angle. I am only human and there is nothing wrong in admitting to myself that I may have made a mistake.

Absolutely nothing wrong in that at all In fact, it could be a good thing! (Problem shared, problem halved scenario)

However, a volte face is usually accompanied with a: "thank you for your opinions, it has given me a different perspective and having thought about it ... blah blah blah" attitude You came across much differently.

Wishing you much luck in your pursuit of "happiness" (whatever that means to you )

SailorSam

yvonne13 wrote: »

That's a good idea but the conversation didn't get to that stage. Anyway his loss

I've done Internet dating on and off a couple of years on the free sites, met a few but 'chatted' to loads. It was only last weekend that i spoke to someone new by email and after swopping a few messages she asked me about Skype, i'd never used used it but had a headset so downloaded it for free. This week we've spoken for at least 2hrs each night so got to know each other much better than you ever could through just emails.
When people are writing they have all the time in the world to think what to say, it's easy to lie, but when you're talking on the phone it's not so easy you have to give that instant reply.
So i'd recommend the Skype to anyone, it's not as if you're giving out your real phone number and if things got out of hand it would be simple to block a caller.

Skype though isn't the cure for everything, this one i'm speaking to sounds a lovely person, looks dead sexy but lives 100mls away.

Poodlecrazy

A wise person once told me not to invest any real emotion and to have no expectation of any man until you have met, face to face at least three times and this advice has proved to be good to follow.

I've done online dating, some of whom I've met in real life, some of whom I am now good friends with. I didn't meet my OH through online dating though I must add. You will chat to dozens online, don't take it too seriously!

Px