Real life MMD: Should I pay off her debts?

Augustus_the_Strong

NO WAY!

If you are going to marry her, that may be a different thing - get married, then pool your finances (but take away her credit card). Otherwise, help her plan her spending and give her guidance on sorting out her debts, pay for both of you when you go out, be generous - that way she can sort herself out without getting further into debt.

Having said that, when we were courting, I had a regular overdraft (£400, but that was 20 years ago) which I could never seem to clear, until my OH generously lent me the money to get back in the black, and I paid it back gradually. But £16k is way too generous.

asdchildofmine

NO! Basically pure and simple! did you rack up the debt? No? Don't pay it off then! Does she want to pay it off? help her to come up with a plan to pay it off reasonable amount each month (Martin has great ideas on here and the 24 month interest free credit card sounds like a good way to save a few hundred quid in interest, BUT only in her name!!!!)....take her out occasionally but don't over do it! If you were together for a while then maybe a bit more help but 8 months is nothing!!!!
Sorry to be tough but is true! Tough love is the best love ;-)

rosemary54

are you mad????NO WAY....ditch this useless specimin and find yourself a decent girl

interlcore

Don't do it. My aunt paid off her SOB husband's debts and guess what he did... He got more loans and credit cards and ran them up. I'm not saying your gf will do the same but after only 8 months of dating, do you know she won't do this? Also, will she have learnt anything if you take away the debt for her? Maybe you could help her out by teaching her ways to handle her money better.

timbstoke

Not a chance. I think some people are being a bit unfair by saying "dump her" - you only have to look at the DFW board to know that some people find themselves in trouble through no fault of their own, but being her sugar daddy won't help her.

Now, if she gets a settlement offer from one of her creditors at a significant discount - i.e. £200 to settle a £1000 debt, then it may well be worth considering loaning her that so she can accept the offer. Otherwise, the best thing you can do is be there for her and make sure she can still enjoy some kind of social life while she pays this off - there's nothing more soul-destroying than having to stay in because every spare penny you have has gone towards a debt.

cathsuth

Definitely not - can't say any more than that really!

mikes5762

No.No No. Watch Judge Judy on daytime TV.

If you pay off £16K it's going to be a very expensive no guarantees love affair.

Solutions; Get the total debts to below £15K. That is _every_ creditor to get pro rata repayment in the meantime until total debts do not exceed £15k.

Check with your friendly Debt Adviser at a local charity. e.g Citizens Advice for some further eligibility requirements and professional advice.
If eligible your friend could then consider applying for a Debt Relief Order. If DRO is approved, creditors can take no further action, all repayments stop and after 12 months your friend will be free of all debts included in the DRO.

Alt 2. Check with PayPlan if your friend has surplus funds to pay every month. They give good advice and set up all arrangements. No charge to your friend.

A friend of mine had a very dishy lady friend whom he was head over heels in love with.The lady was holding back with her favours.
They went to an expensive fur shop so that he could buy her a mink. We're talking about the old days.
The shop agreed to a "on appro" sale for a weekend.
My friend returned the coat on Monday and the shop owner asked whether the coat had a problem or similar.

The reply was " The coat was just fine. The lady's favours were forthcoming and even better than the coat."

JamJar

No, Nein, Nyet, Ochi, Iie, Ei!!

pxtb

No. She has to learn and be an adult about her debts. I'm in the same situation and my partner is very happy sorting it out without me giving money. Just help her sort it out but not sort it out completely by paying it off. It would teach her anything.

I also did this for my dad and quess what, he's got more debts now than what I paid before.

KHM_2

I agree with everyone else! Dont do it.
She will never learn how to manage her money and she will just end up in debt again!
You are doing the right thing in supporting her now and helping her sort out her finances. But think how you would feel if you paid it off and she just ended up in more debt a year later....
My parents paid off my brothers 1K overdraft for him, for him to run it back up again in 3 months!
I think you should keep your money and as the others have suggested, use it to go on nice (but cheap) dates and get her occasional treats now and again.