My boyfriend said "Yes.I'll marry you" on facebook...

ceridwen

Charley.christian wrote: »

I've told him that i have my life to live and he understands that and he's given me so much freedom. its like being single,only i have a guy.

We're both going to college & I've told him that we might meet someone new, if he does i'm totally fine about it. I can't see myself doing any better then him though.

I don't really have any friends and I'm not into going away, I tend to miss home alot when I'm away.

He really is the one for me (at least for "now" anyway) he just loves me for who i am and he just says things that would just melt your heart.
And we've already had times where we nearly ended it but i totally forgive him because i know people make mistakes.

I'm ready to have a life with him just not marrying yet until im 20-25.

Oh heck...just read this post by you...and I've now changed to "Dont do it Di" mode....

"cant see myself doing any better than him" = oh heck....

"at least for now anyway" = oh heck...

Marriage is a lifelong commitment - so please dont even think of it whilst you are still thinking "Hes the best I can do" and "he'll do for now":eek::eek::eek:

From where I'm standing marriage (or the living together equivalent) is FAR from easy. Its one heck of a thing to take on - even if you both decide not to have children. Its a HUGE commitment and for a LONG time. Think VERY VERY seriously about whether this is the man for you for an estimated 60 years. Sixty years is one HECK of a long time and will take a lot of "work" on it - even if you both decide not to have children and dont have any particular problems.

Can you honestly think that neither of you will have serious health or financial problems for that long length of time (ie that 60 years or so that any marriage might last for). You will be very much in the (lucky...very lucky indeed) minority if you believe that both of you will manage to get through that long length of time without at least one of you encountering MAJOR problems of some description that the other one of you has to stand by and help with/sympathise with - because that isnt how it works for most people that I've ever come across. Life is bl**dy hard for the vast majority of us - darn it...and are you both prepared/willing to stand by each other through thick and thin?

Decluttering

I don't know whether or not to congratulate you! You sound mature when you say you want to wait and live your life first but the sentence that confuses me is this - "We're both going to college & I've told him that we might meet someone new, if he does I'm totally fine about it." It sort of goes against my definition of marriage. But you sound like you still have your head screwed on and are realistic wiith your thinking so I'd say just enjoy it and see where it goes

As for the Facebook message, if it had been a completely random message out of the blue, I would've been suspicious but from what you've said it's something you've discussed so maybe it's been on his mind and he was trying to bring the conversation around to it. Sometimes it's easier to discuss these things online than in person.

jamespir

make_me_wise wrote: »

According to my mates at the news of the world your girlfriend has arranged a surprise wedding for this saturday. Best get your suit sorted mate

so nice of her :T

ViolaLass

So he didn't actually propose to you during this conversation and you don't want to get married now or any time soon. What's your question then? Sounds like you know what you want and you've got it, just continue as you are.

lolly_896

jamespir wrote: »

so nice of her :T

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-secret-Bride/187720394610075 - is this your wife?

Charley.christian

RichGold wrote: »

If he was closer, say 29.7 miles, I'd say go for it!


But 30.1 miles is too far.

He's just on holiday - he'll be back at the weekend
He wants to stay over my house when he gets back.
He just wants a hug i think

Charley.christian

There wasn't really any question, i just wondered what people thought of this subject when asked over facebook.
When i said "we might meet someone new, if he does I'm totally fine about it." i meant that if he does meet someone new & would like to have a relationship with her, then i'm fine, I would understand that maybe it wasn't our time. I've asked about what if he does, and he said he's not interested in any other girl.
And that he know's im the one for him... and I just feel myself when im with him. I don't even have to wear any make up & he'll still be in love with me. (lol)

I've told him yesterday after this post, that i wasn't ready & that i just want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and he was so understanding.
Turns out he asked me to marry him because he wanted to make sure that we both still wanted the same things & so that he could start to get a better future. I've told him i wanna get married in 3 years. He was totally cool with that.

I'm not interested in friends (Although it would be nice) or other boys.

I can't really do much until after he comes home from holiday.

I want to have a life with him.Just wish he didnt bring it up too soon

vroombroom

:Da hug? is that what kids re calling it nowadays

Tish_P

I'm not interested in friends (Although it would be nice)

You're contradicting yourself here! Get some friends. I know that's easier said than done, but apart from a few natural loners, people need friends even if they also have the most wonderful boy/girl friend in the world. At college you will probably be surrounded by likeminded people - until then, get into some hobbies that will give you a chance to meet people.

Do not marry this chap unless or until you have a time-tested, trusting, respectful relationship and positively know that out of all the people in the world you would choose him.

Bloomin_Freezing2

Why were you not allowed to visit him on holiday? Might you catch him out? I find it very hard to believe that two people who both class the other as 'the one' would tell the other they were 'not allowed' to visit when on a near by holiday.

Has he cheated on you on the past, is that what your forgave him for?

Sounds to me like he's keeping you dangling whilst having a bit on the side as and when it suits, I'm sorry to say.

I have been there, so much 'in love' in my teens, looking back it was nothing of the sort. I had boyfriends when I was younger telling me they'd marry me after only a few weeks of dating, I'm no longer with any of them so obviously it would've been a stupid thing to follow through with that.

You should really try to make friends, if you boyfriend does leave you for someone else you are going to be very lonely.