Pregnant as a result of rape

emylou

What a horrible situation you're in. Just wanted to send more virtual hugs to you. Good luck at the Rape Crisis centre tonight, I hope they and your boyfriend give you the support and help you need. Stay strong x

gratefulforhelp_2

I have nothing helpful to add other than to send you hugs. x

bylromarha

Whattodo?? wrote: »

I've got an appointment with a local rape crisis centre this evening. I'm going to go and meet OH from work, tell him, then hopefully we can go together.

The more I go over it in my head the more i'm leaning towards termination. But I know neither option is something I can rush in to and I do need to discuss it properly with people.

Thanks for help so far. And for the PMs. I will reply to them all as mse lets me.

Wishing you much strength for tonight - talking to a stranger is often an easier thing to do than talking to people who know you.

You're taking steps in the direction of coming to a decision.

Well done you. Keep going. More hugs coming your way.

inthesameboat_2

An AE for me too.

I was in this situation when I was much younger. I had the child because of everyones views on abortion being forced upon me. I cannot even put into this thread how much that decision destroyed my life for a good number of years.

I knew my attacker, the father wanted to know when he found out. In the end, after trying to kill myself a number of times, I left the baby on his doorstep and moved away for a number of years. I still live in hiding for fear of my past catching up with me.

It continued to haunt me for many years but having counselling helped me come to terms with my demons and I deal with them now, I now longer think this was my fault.

I dread the day when I will inevitably get a knock on the door or email/letter/call from that child wanting to know all about me and why I did 'what I did'.

I appreciate that you do not know your attacker but he may see you, he may find out (if he has been bragging to mates) and he may want to be a part of that childs life. He could be hanging around you forever.

Sorry mine was not a good post. i read your post and a shiver ran up my spine, got an AE and shared just a little part of my life.

21 years on I am well balanced (as anyone is) and I have 2 young children now. You are 22, you still have a good number of years in which to have another child and my youngest was born when I was 33, it would be a child concieved out of love and happiness, not one that was concieved out of such a horrible and nasty event, a memory that will last forever. If it happened to me today there is no way I would keep it, if I could turn back the clock I would not have kept it either.

No, this is not the babies fault but while you are biologically able to get pregnant you were never given the chance to say no and stop that pregnancy happening. Your choice should be yours and yours alone. You should not feel bad for getting rid of a pregnancy that has been forced upon you through violence. This was not something you wanted, this will be something you have as a reminder for the rest of your life.

I hope that your new boyfriend is able to help you though this and that you can be strong. If you need to speak then all of us are here for you. Good luck.

peachyprice

I too was raped and got pregnant, at 17, by my 'boyfriend' while his parents were at church on a sunday morning.

I chose to have a termination, there was no way on earth I could have carried and mothered a child fathered by such an evil person. One thing that really troubled me was the thought it may be a boy and may have the same traits as his father, totally irrational perhaps butI know I would have doubted that child for the rest of his life.

I never did regret my decision and eventually chose to marry and have children when I was 30.

Good luck with the counsellor tonight, I hope your boyfriend is as caring as he sounds and will support you through this whatever decision you make.

make_me_wise

Whattodo?? wrote: »

About 2.5 months ago I was raped.

Yesterday I realised I hadn't had a period since the rape so I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I just don't know what to do. The thought of going through with a pregnancy which was a result of a violent rape makes me feel physically sick. How will I love a child which was created because of such a horrible crime? How will I love a constant reminder of that awful night?

I am so sorry for everything you have suffered and are now faced with. To be honest I could not continue with a pregnancy that resulted from being raped. The baby would be a constant reminder of having being violated and abused.

I wish you well OP with whatever way you decide to move forward.

Hovel_lady

Just wanted to send ((hugs)) and wish you well tonight.
We're all thinking about you xx

make_me_wise

Whattodo?? wrote: »

If my family found out about it they would hate me.

Why would your family hate you? It is not your fault that you were raped. Surely your family would understand that and know that what has happened to you was a crime and that you need their love and support.

Torry_Quine

One thing to say is that it probably doesn't help the OP by saying what you would or have done in this situation. I realise that you mean well and for those who have been in this situation you are reliving something very painful but it may only add to her confusion as to the way to proceed.

I hope that you all have managed to find peace in your lives

GeeBee38

just to let you know we are all thinking of you xx big hugs xx