Reported to social services and completely untrue

SingleSue

I babysat from the age of 12, children of all ages including a very young baby...to me I didn't see it as a loss of childhood but a way to earn more money as I was ultra obsessive about earning as much as I could and that was an easy way to do it.

I was never forced into it by my parents (I can't recall babysitting my younger sister) and bearing in mind I was a mini adult at the age of 11 (my choice, my parents hated it), I didn't see it as missing out on being young but more of a case of showing my ever growing indepence.

Eldest has started babysitting my youngest son but only as he is now almost 18 and can understand hissiblings medications and danger signs of needing extra assistance and only very rarely..usually because he has his part time job to do. Middle son at nearly 15 is completely unsuitable to babysit any child, he can't look after himself let alone a young child.

Oldernotwiser

Although it must be annoying if you feel that the report is untrue, it's also worth bearing in mind that the neighbour may well have your children's best interests at heart.

Perhaps, if more people involved Social Services when they were worried about a child, there might be fewer neglected children.

ETA. Which doesn't mean that I think you're neglecting your children, by the way.

tayvixen

well throwing a spanner into the works i raised my 4 younger siblings from the age of 9 not by choice, they are all in their teens now and mind you borderline spoilt in my opinion. I am glad no one knew to call social services as we would have been much worse off in care contrary to popular believe.
It was incredibly hard but i feel it has developed me into an amazing person. I think children should babysit so they can learn and even if they hate it; it would give them a good idea of what having their own family would be like actually kids should be given responsibility in all aspects of life so they can grow into well rounded conforming individuals

neverdespairgirl

wageslave wrote: »

You come from a culture where every child goes to university. I come from a culture where twelve year olds are made to leave school to clean caravans and raise their siblings

We come from opposite ends of the class system and have opposing views

That's fair enough

You seem to assume that social class is set in stone?

I grew up in a household, and was educated at schools, where it was expected that everyone would go on to higher education.

My father, on the other hand, grew up in a household where everyone left school the moment he could, and did no exams at all. He was the first person in his family to stay at school past the age of 14.

So where is he in the "class system"? Is he in the world he grew up in (working class, no qualifications) or the world he chose (post-graduate education, now a QC)?

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

You come from a culture where every child goes to university. I come from a culture where twelve year olds are made to leave school to clean caravans and raise their siblings

We come from opposite ends of the class system and have opposing views

That's fair enough

Which teenager needs protecting more?

Just because it was ok for you doesn't make it ok

Fifteen yr olds shouldn't be looking after kids

I think this post makes it easier to understand wageslaves position. IMO the fault here was not the babysitting and the helping take care of home but rather the level of it and the fact that it took a priority over your needs as a teenager/older child and your right to education.

Its an extreme situation in our moderate country. But IMO not giving teens any responsibility in a safe environment is the other side of the seesaw.

make_me_wise

nattyt wrote: »

She is on a one woman mission to make my life hell. I'm scared to breath. She is very well known for being a gossip and stirrer so on the whole most people won't believe the rumours she is spreading (and there are many...some bordering on slander I expect) but i have never had anything like all this happen. Feel really stressed but also tbh really angry!
Sorry for long post!

What a horrible woman your neighbour sounds. I wouldn't be surprised if she does this regularly to people. Social services are duty bound to investigate any allegation regarding childrens welfare, which is a good thing.

You have done nothing wrong so have no need to worry. Do you own or rent your accomodation? If you rent I would be tempted to move at the end of the tenancy. Okay its a bit of hassle but no more so than living near a woman who sees fit to treat neighbours so badly.

She seems to have a few issues and problems doesn't she.

nattyt

wageslave wrote: »

I think it is too young

I think fifteen is still a child and, irregardless of how offended you are by my language or what is the norm in your part of the world, I stand my corner.

I would be extremely uncomfortable leaving my pair with a teenager and worried to death about any child my teenager was in charge off.

And with the greatest respect to the OP, I find it bizarre that you are having a go at me for having a different opinion and yet you are swallowing whole her story of being wrongly accused of being a negligent parent

Why wouldn't people 'swallow my story whole' as you put it as its the truth! I have never left my son alone and once again the point isn't actually about my 15 year old babysitting its about that! I put this out there for advice and feel like all I've got is an onslaught from you regarding my 15 year old babysitting. Your teenager may not be mature enough but mine is which makes it MY decision. As I have pointed out I am only literally over the road not miles away. There is no law that says she can't do it. I believe it is teaching her responsibility and also showing that I trust her. TBH she is more mature than my 19 year old cousin whos just had a baby.
Going back to the original point which is me being accused of leaving my son on his own SS know its a malicious caller, they believe me which possibly says volumes about who the caller may be.

moomoomama27

nattyt wrote: »

Your teenager may not be mature enough but mine is which makes it MY decision. As I have pointed out I am only literally over the road not miles away. There is no law that says she can't do it. I believe it is teaching her responsibility and also showing that I trust her.

This is exactly how I feel! Maybe wageslaves teen isn't mature and that's what she's basing it on!?

alwayspuzzled

moomoomama27 wrote: »

This is exactly how I feel! Maybe wageslaves teen isn't mature and that's what she's basing it on!?

And that probably goes a long way as to explaining why theres no minimum age set by law, kids mature at different rates and different parents allow kids to take control of their own independance at different rates. I know a daddies girl who at 21 I wouldn't have trusted with my babies!

clearingout

j.e.j. wrote: »

I find it really disturbing that someone could fabricate a story about somebody to social services, leading to an innocent person being investigated, refuse to give their name, and get away without any consequences?? If it was the Police instead of the SS wouldn't they be done for wasting Police time?

we need to live in a society where people feel they can report their concerns without fear of reprisal - enough children are abused and sadly, sometimes murdered, at the hands of their parents without neighbours feeling they can't report their concerns. Some people will do anything to get at others. Other people may have mis-heard something or poorly interpreted a situation or set of circumstances. Others may genuinely feel it is 'illegal' to leave a 3 and a 6 year old with a 15 year old and that something needs to be done about it. Social workers then have the job of working out what the truth is - which I don't envy them, if I'm honest, because it must be very difficult in some situations to cut through the crap and get to what is really happening.

I would rather that someone investigate me and my children be deemed safe, well and happy than have neighbours, friends and family gossiping about me behind my back. And it's quite nice that it sticks two fingers up at the ex who's daft enough to report me as well!