Reported to social services and completely untrue

wageslave

pigpen wrote: »

On planet earth a 3 year old is not a baby.. where are you?

A 3 year old is possibly too old to be a toddler even.. they are just a 'young child'.. and 6 is a not so small child.

I was never a child.. at 15 I often had my niece over night.. given that she is now 21 I don't think I killed her..

Mind your children don't suffocate in the cotton wool!

Aw sweetheart, you were

For me fifteen is a child. Fifteen has the right to be a child not a built in baby sitter

Hootie19

Well getting back to the OP, and away from the rights and wrongs of teenagers babysitting

I work in the team that takes referrals such as yours, and in our department, the managers can sniff out a malicious referral in an instant.

In our department, if a child/ren isn't already known to the department, then a record will be created on the computer database.

Any previous referrals will be taken into account, and depending on the severity of the allegations, a phone call by a duty social worker may be made, a letter may be written saying that No Further Action will be taken (such as the one that the OP received), or it may be decided that there are sufficient concerns for an Initial Assessment to be carried out, in which case a social worker will visit the family at home.

As you (OP) have received an NFA letter, then I think you need not worry (about SS involvement, anyway). It's unlikely that a SW will be able to give you much more information, as the chances are, the referral will have been made anonymously.

I don't think in the OP's position I would be confronting the neighbour, as there is no proof, only suspicion, that this is where the referral has come from, and it could do more harm than good. And as has been said above, if it IS this neighbour, and if the referral has been made maliciously, it will KILL her not to know the outcome!!

nattyt

Just to clarify that I have NEVER EVER left my younger children with my 15 year old for a weekend only a few hours....maybe 4 at the very most. The original point was actually about somebody making false accusations about me leaving my son alone. This is obviously a subject re a 15 year old babysitting that people have very different opinions and I guess its up to each individual to make their own choice if they are in that situation.
Someone mentioned about my neighbour renting her house from the same association but hers is her own and mine is shared ownership. A housing officer has been out and I have told her about said neighbour and her rumour spreading and she said they can offer mediation but tbh in a week I expect she'll have moved on to someone else and act like nothing has happened. I have spoken to the people that used to live here and she fell out with them for 2 years something to do with a dog and then one day started talking like nothing had happened.
Well hopefully SS will call back tomorrow and I will know more.
Thank you everybody. x

moomoomama27

wageslave wrote: »

For me fifteen is a child. Fifteen has the right to be a child not a built in baby sitter

I could have predicted that line!

How is it when on the odd ocassion a teen babysits they suddenly become mummys slave and don't have a choice in the matter!

Come on, you can do better than that!

wageslave

moomoomama27 wrote: »

All in your own opinion, which you are entitled to! Yes I am

You however implying that people who do trust their teen/ a teen is what gets on my nerves! It's perfectly safe, if that teen is responsible, and has proven themselves responsible, and you spouting on about neglect and that people who leave their children with teens don't care, makes you look hysterical!

It might or might not be safe, I don't think it is right. I am entitled to my opinion as you are to yours.

I don't see how having an opinion makes me hysterical.

An opinionated foul mouthed cow yes. Hysterical?

Hardly

nattyt

Hootie19 wrote: »

Well getting back to the OP, and away from the rights and wrongs of teenagers babysitting

I work in the team that takes referrals such as yours, and in our department, the managers can sniff out a malicious referral in an instant.

In our department, if a child/ren isn't already known to the department, then a record will be created on the computer database.

Any previous referrals will be taken into account, and depending on the severity of the allegations, a phone call by a duty social worker may be made, a letter may be written saying that No Further Action will be taken (such as the one that the OP received), or it may be decided that there are sufficient concerns for an Initial Assessment to be carried out, in which case a social worker will visit the family at home.

As you (OP) have received an NFA letter, then I think you need not worry (about SS involvement, anyway). It's unlikely that a SW will be able to give you much more information, as the chances are, the referral will have been made anonymously.

I don't think in the OP's position I would be confronting the neighbour, as there is no proof, only suspicion, that this is where the referral has come from, and it could do more harm than good. And as has been said above, if it IS this neighbour, and if the referral has been made maliciously, it will KILL her not to know the outcome!!

THANK YOU!!!!! Our posts crossed and this is the most helpful one. Yes the letter did say no further action to be taken at this time but I have phoned really for my own peace of mind. I have never had any other previous referrals regarding SS. I'm not so much worried as annoyed that someone has made such a malicious allegation. I won't be confronting the neighbour for the exact reasons you've said! I'm pretty sure its her though as she has done this to others in the past. And yes she will HATE not knowing whats going on!


WAGESLAVE....I don't think my daughter is a built in babysitter. Its not even that often and when she does she gets paid.....hmmm maybe you'll think thats wrong too....child labour or something? And the swearing- completely unnecessary.

neverdespairgirl

wageslave wrote: »

You were too fu cking young. You were a child.

Just because it didn't go horribly wrong doesn't make it right.

You have a child. Would you leave her at age fourteen to look after a litter of small children clutching a phone number for comfort?

I was 14, not a child, but not an adult, either.

My next sister down was 12, so she was there too.

I have a 6 year old son (and try telling him he's a baby! But I'm going to be several rooms away when you do, to avoid being deafened by the protest).

I don't intend to wrap him in cotton wool until he's 18, though. I don't see anything wrong at all with a 14 year old having charge of her (or his) younger siblings, if the 14 year old in question is capable of it and happy about it. And I was.

As the oldest in the family, I did help out, of course. It didn't take away my childhood or anything of the sort. But it did teach me that the laundry fairy, and the washing-up-elves didn't live with us (-:

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

wageslave wrote: »

It might or might not be safe, I don't think it is right. I am entitled to my opinion as you are to yours.

I don't see how having an opinion makes me hysterical.

An opinionated foul mouthed cow yes. Hysterical?

Hardly

Personally, I would have chosen the words hysterical, foul mouthed and in breach of forum guidelines if I were to describe your posts here.

It's the vehemence of your comments, the outright condemnation, plus language that has got other posters permanently PPRd that leads me to this description.

Having an opinion is a right that everyone has. The way you express it is, if not in direct breach of forum rules, so close you couldn't get a cigarette paper between them.

wageslave

WAGESLAVE....I don't think my daughter is a built in babysitter. Its not even that often and when she does she gets paid.....hmmm maybe you'll think thats wrong too....child labour or something? And the swearing- completely unnecessary.[/QUOTE]

And yet if your daughter hadn't babysat you wouldn't have been reported to social services.

Ok, forget that, where were we.

Do I think you are a bad mother? This is an internet forum and I have no idea. You could be the best mother in the world or the worst, everyone is taking you on faith. Me included.

Do I think it is wrong to ask children to babysit children? Yes. Flinging them a fiver is neither here nor there.

As for my language, my dime, my choice

nattyt

wageslave wrote: »

WAGESLAVE....I don't think my daughter is a built in babysitter. Its not even that often and when she does she gets paid.....hmmm maybe you'll think thats wrong too....child labour or something? And the swearing- completely unnecessary.

And yet if your daughter hadn't babysat you wouldn't have been reported to social services.
[/QUOTE]

Actually if you'd have read it properly its nothing to do with her babysitting....'apparently'i have left my son alone on his own. It was a question I put out there about her babysitting. You obviously have strong opinions on this which is your right.