Reported to social services and completely untrue

j.e.j.

I find it really disturbing that someone could fabricate a story about somebody to social services, leading to an innocent person being investigated, refuse to give their name, and get away without any consequences?? If it was the Police instead of the SS wouldn't they be done for wasting Police time?

Becles

There is no set age for babysitting as one teen can be very mature while another of the same age can be very childlike.

Mine are 14, 12 and 4. I wouldn't leave the 12 year old in charge of the 4 year old as he's quite immature and I just wouldn't trust him.

I have left the 14 year old with the youngest for short periods such as if she doesn't want to walk the dogs with me in bad weather or if I need to pop round to the local shop or Post Office and she doesn't want to come. He's mature and I trust him and I can be back within a few minutes if he rings my mobile. I wouldn't go to work for the day or go out and expect him to feed her or shower her and put her to bed as I think that would be too much responsibility for him.

DaisyFlower

nattyt wrote: »

To the posters who put about my ex...i'm not sure if he would have the brain to do that and hes always telling me hes so glad that I am the mother of his kids and that he couldn't wish for anyone better. He also isn't malicious in that way. There is no court order in place the agreement has always been between us but hes having a solictors letter sent to make it all more formal which he doesn't know about yet hence why it probably isn't him.

Was there a reason for the solicitors letter, especially given he doesnt know anything about it? I'd have thought you would have wanted to keep things amicable.

Have you asked if he would like them on extra weekends? It seems sad not to if you are not home anyway. That way you dont need a sitter.

gizmo111

These referals are the bane of our life. social worker will visit do a quick assessment and take it no further - provided there are no concerns.
This will stay on the childrens record - not the mothers for 75 years. FOI is unlikely to help as is DPA as the name of the caller will be blocked out unless they give permission for it to be disclosed. If it is the neighbour then disclosure is likely to cause more conflict and frankly it is not worth it - you then have a potentially violent situation and something that could warrant intervention.

There is no minimum age for babysitting just the teenager has to be deemed respnsible - varys kid to kid. 15 is about right I would say - my 15 yr old babysits for three kids age 8, 7 and 6.

nattyt

DaisyFlower wrote: »

Was there a reason for the solicitors letter, especially given he doesnt know anything about it? I'd have thought you would have wanted to keep things amicable.

Have you asked if he would like them on extra weekends? It seems sad not to if you are not home anyway. That way you dont need a sitter.

The solicitors letter is a result of him refusing to speak to mediators regarding the access issues. I don't want him to have them extra as I'd never see them weekends and as i have previously pointed out I tend to go out when I don't have them although obviously there are occasions when I do. However after discussing all this with my partner and family we have decided that we will try to ensure that one of them or another family member will babysit if needs be.
I have made the decision not to say anything as like people have said its probably what she wants. My parents don't think I should either.
J.E.J i completely agree with what you are saying especially considering ss are completely overloaded with genuine cases that need real attention. It blows my mind that someone could be so malicious.

What makes me laugh in all this is that her children were the most awful kids ever. One of her daughters was an awful bully at school and even recently has threatened to another neighbour that 'she is gunning for me and wants to beat the s**t out of me'! Nice! Shes 36?! Her son was well known locally as the biggest druggy around here. Pot kettle black springs to mind. People like that are always the worst though aren't they?

wageslave

Fifteen is too young to be left watching a baby. Fifteen is a child in my eyes and looking after a baby is an unfair responsibility to ask of any underage teenager.

pigpen

wageslave wrote: »

Fifteen is too young to be left watching a baby. Fifteen is a child in my eyes and looking after a baby is an unfair responsibility to ask of any underage teenager.

But the children in question at 3.5 and 6.. they aren't babies.. besides.. thousands of 15 year olds have their own babies and do perfectly well.

At 15 I had my sisters more than my mother did!

nattyt

wageslave wrote: »

Fifteen is too young to be left watching a baby. Fifteen is a child in my eyes and looking after a baby is an unfair responsibility to ask of any underage teenager.

As pigpen has pointed out they are 3 and half and nearly 6 not babies! Yes she is still a child but in 6 months time when she is 16 does that necessarily make her more responsible than now?? This is not even the point anyway its about someone lying that I have left my son!!

moomoomama27

I was babysitting with my friend when we were both 12 - 13! We were so responsible it was untrue! We babysat children from 18 months to 7 yrs old! Cotton wool kids now-a-days!

My 14 yr old watches my 2 little ones if I have to pop out for a very short while, it's not neglectful if you have taught them how to keep safe, left emergency contact details, and they feel comfortable and confident!

nattyt

moomoomama27 wrote: »

I was babysitting with my friend when we were both 12 - 13! We were so responsible it was untrue! We babysat children from 18 months to 7 yrs old! Cotton wool kids now-a-days!

My 14 yr old watches my 2 little ones if I have to pop out for a very short while, it's not neglectful if you have taught them how to keep safe, left emergency contact details, and they feel comfortable and confident!

I know I looked after my brother and my sister and the neighbours kids on occasion at that age. I agree it can all just go too far!! Also I can remember a friend at school having a baby at 15 and looking after her overnight :eek:.......what would the neighbours say!??!!