Reported to social services and completely untrue

nattyt

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post. Basically I came home from a lovely weekend away with my boyfriend to find a letter from social services saying that 'the department has received an anonymous referral about concerns which suggest you may have historically left your son home alone'. My son is 3 and a half and obviously I would never leave him alone. I have a 15 year old daughter who babysits from time to time for him and my other DD who is nearly 6. I am now wondering if this is ok or not? I am also now worried to go out! My younger children spend every other weekend with their dad which is when I tend to go out anyway.
I am pretty sure it is my neighbour as she has recently made a complaint about me to the housing association. They have visited and are satisfied that a lot of it is made up. She has made complaints about 2 birthday parties we had and other 'apparent' incidents. One of them being that apparently my son had smashed her conservatory roof with a stone....on the date she said it happened he was with his dad??!! My other neighbour has also recently been reported to social services again for completely unfounded accusations. All a bit coincidental.
I am waiting for s.s to call back but my question really is how do you move on from stuff like this? She is on a one woman mission to make my life hell. I'm scared to breath. She is very well known for being a gossip and stirrer so on the whole most people won't believe the rumours she is spreading (and there are many...some bordering on slander I expect) but i have never had anything like all this happen. Feel really stressed but also tbh really angry!
Sorry for long post!

KiKi

Hi there

I don't know how it all works, but all I would say is that if you've done nothing wrong, then take a deep breath first of all. You will have to have contact with SS, and they are duty-bound to investigate such complaints (as I'm sure you understand). But it's one of those things you will have to deal with calmly, rationally and try to forget the emotion of being angry with your neighbour and distraught about the accusation.

Chances are they will be able to see very quickly that it's not true, and you can get on with your life. But my best advice is to co-operate, not react emotionally to SS (as much as you might want to!), make it as stress-free for your kids as you can, then move on.

I don't know what you can do about your neighbour, but afterwards you might want to look at whether or not there's anything you can do about someone putting in malicious complaints (if indeed it was her).

Sorry you're being put through this.
KiKi

DaisyFlower

Where does the 15 year ols stay when you go away for the weekend? Its not just the youngest child they will be interested in.

There is no legal age for leaving children alone, its upto SS if they deem a child responsible enough to look after their siblings whilst a parent is away from the home.

nattyt

Thanks for your quick reply KiKi. SS have basically said in the letter that they are taking no further action but I called them really to clarify the situation regarding my 15 year old babysitting. I'm not so worried about the letter in itself as I know its not true but more about the fact of where does it stop? What next?
This a woman who really has nothing else better to do. Its almost like she is sat at home thinking 'what can i do next to cause the maximum amount of trouble'.
I am also worried because although my younger 2 go to their dads and its all ok at the moment there are issues there which may result in us ending up in court regarding access as he wants to swap the weekends and I can't do it. This is just the sort of stuff I don't need that could be used against me in some way.

nattyt

DaisyFlower wrote: »

Where does the 15 year ols stay when you go away for the weekend? Its not just the youngest child they will be interested in.

There is no legal age for leaving children alone, its upto SS if they deem a child responsible enough to look after their siblings whilst a parent is away from the home.

I don't often go away for the weekend without the children but this weekend she has stayed at a friends house. When she babysits I am normally only at our local which is a 2 minute walk away. Bit worried now though to leave them at all. She is very sensible so no issue there.

j.e.j.

Is it possible to find out thru Freedom of Information or Data Protection who it was that made the allegations?

KiKi

If they've left a letter saying they've had an accusation but no further action, then I would call them to find out what this means. Ie, does it go on record? If they are taking no action, then presumably there's no basis for it, in which case it should come OFF the record (if it's on it!). I'd want to know on what basis they have decided that no action is required, as I assume they've investigated. I wouldn't want that recorded against me...I'd *rather* go through an investigation to get the record wiped clean than it recorded as a suspicion.

I'd make sure you get to the bottom of what happens with that information, if I were you.
KiKi

delain

j.e.j. wrote: »

Is it possible to find out thru Freedom of Information or Data Protection who it was that made the allegations?

I doubt it - they probably didn't give SS their name when they rang!

Elle7

We had reports made about us as children - I was a child involved, and the allegations were true, but I might be able to share my understanding.

I believe the report will be on record, incase anyone else makes complaints. They won't let you find out who made the complaint - they will provide details of when it was reported and what was said if you request it under the freedom of information act, but they will remove any details of the reporter - they have the right to remain confidential.

Have you spoken to SS about whether they are happy with your 15-year-old babysitting? There is no legal age, I don't think, but the NSPCC recommend babysitters are always above 16.

Is there fighting or crying while you are gone that could have genuinely concerned someone?

It's unlikely SS will bother you again unless you are reported again, so I wouldn't work yourself up - I know what a shock coming home to those letters is, though.

Hope this has helped,

E x

delain

I have had several unfounded SS visits, and they never amount to anything. They know it is the ex making trouble. They come to see you, do an initial assessment and close the case if they have no concerns. As Elle7 says it does stay on record though.

Sambucus_Nigra

nattyt wrote: »

I am also worried because although my younger 2 go to their dads and its all ok at the moment there are issues there which may result in us ending up in court regarding access as he wants to swap the weekends and I can't do it. This is just the sort of stuff I don't need that could be used against me in some way.

Could it be the dad that has made the complaint in future regard of this court case?